Worth it.

Let me start by saying I have great friends at OVS, I really do. I have met fabulous people here that I truly love.

But there are very few people I would drive a total of three hours for just to see them for half of that. Friday night I did just that for two of my very closest friends.

I have known Tucker and Eyad for two years now, all thanks to Power Chord Academy (or as I like to refer it as: Band Camp).

Tucker and Eyad are two people who just seem to understand me. And I realize how horribly cliche that sounds coming from a teenager, but it’s the only way I can describe it. They understand how I work, how I tick, and they love me for it.

I don’t have to watch myself around them. I don’t have to worry about what to say and what not to say, or how big their personal bubble is. I don’t have to think about it at all. I can just throw away all my worries and simply be me.

And that means the world to me.


Tucker

Eyad

I love you guys, I really do, and I don’t know where I’d be without you right now.

Humanity Over Cruelty

Hateful, spiteful, repeating
Underneath a persons very skin
Men and women struggle
And it is then that war begins
New information and cultures appear
Illegal feelings and thoughts
The end of life as we know it
Your battle is one quickly lost

Open ones mind and ones thoughts
Verify every fact
Each life can be worth living
Reaching forward, but never back

Creating a false world
Readily defended lies
Up, and up, and up you build
Eventually puncturing the skies
Leave your ignorance, and hate, and carelessness
Take nothing with you at all
You are only as big as your every fear

And even you will eventually fall.

Tribal Issues (Chairman’s Program)

I want to change lives.
I really, really do.
And now, finally, I’m given an opportunity to do it.

I’ve been doing volunteer work with an organization called Rustic Pathways for two summers in a row. In 2010, I went to Costa Rica to help sustain sea turtle life by building a hatchery for eggs and moving the eggs from dangerous areas to a safe place where they will survive. This year, in 2011, I went to China to volunteer at a Giant Panda conservation center, where I helped care for and feed the endangered pandas.

That was all fun, and helpful, and all that jazz, but I wanted something more.

A week ago, my friend Max (who I’ve done both of the Rustic programs with) called me and told me about this amazing program hosted by Rustic.

“There’s limited spaces available,” he said, “And you don’t get to just sign up, you actually have to send in an application and have an interview to see if you get accepted or not.”

Right away my curiosity was piqued, I needed to be accepted to go? I kept asking Max, one of my best friends since kindergarten, question after question about it until he finally directed me to the site where the trip was explained.

I read through it and my breath got caught in my throat. It sounded so important, so influential, so life-changing.

I sent in my application right away and emailed the director to ask for an interview.

The next day, I received an email from Rustic:

Hello Aria,

Congratulations on being accepted into our programs in Southeast Asia.

I literally squealed, my hands flying to my mouth, and my eyes started to tear up. This is the experience I have been waiting for!

In the summer of 2012, from July 3 to July 20, I will travel with my friend Max and roughly six other students into Thailand, Burma, and Laos. But it will not just be for seeing the other countries and what their culture is, no. I will travel to an estimated fourteen tribes and speak with young men and women there about their life, their hardships, their experiences, and anything else.

I will help sponsor various children to go to school and supply villages with water, food, bicycles, soap, and a friend. I will work with Rustic and the other students on the trip to think of ways to better the lives of all the people in those tribes, and try to set our plans into action.

I want to experience life, and I can’t do that by just talking about making a difference. I have to actually go out there and do it.

And I will go out there.
And I will do it.
And nothing is going to stop me.

The Subtle Difference Between Living and Experiencing.

Everything always seems to flow so quickly before me.
I feel like it was just yesterday I was a stumbling, mumbling, and awkward freshman.
It was just yesterday that I was lost
confused
scared
and lonely in a new place with new people and new feelings I had never witnessed before.
There is no distinct line
no significant bright flash
no abrupt change in events that separates all the past years from this one.
How did I get here?
Where did the time go?
Why did I not grip to those moments while they lasted?
And now I’m back.
Freshman and sophomore years are over.
Surreal summers have come and gone, flying past in an unreasonably quick wind.
It barely rustled my hair before it was gone, leaving still and stale air in its wake.
Now that there is no wind
no more cool breeze
the air is hot and suffocating.
It weighs down on me with a significant pressure
I am Atlas.
I am willed by others to be mature
respectable
in control of absolutely everything and anything I can be.
I am willed by myself to succeed
to be in control of what I can
to be happy instead of content.
I do not want to be responsible for everything else
if only to just live life.
I want to be responsible for myself
and experience life, not just mundanely live it.
I reach for the excitement that others only yearn for.
I want to explore the world
change lives
become a better person than anyone ever anticipated.
I want not to live up to others expectations
but to live up to and surpass my own.
I want to be free from others and myself.
I want to be happy,
I want to experience life,
I want to change lives.
I need to be me.

It’s Over.

“Like, ohmygodddd, it’s the last day of our sophomore yearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.”

No, it isn’t. Shut up.

1) It is not the last day. It is the last day of our classes. Our last day of sophomore year will be the day the seniors graduate and not a moment sooner.

2) Stop whining. It’s almost summer! You should be celebrating being able to do absolutely nothing for three whole months. You should be forgetting everything you were taught and letting it melt away into mush at the back of your brain. Goodbye grammar! Goodbye math! Sayonara!

3) Yes, I will admit it is sad, all of our senior friends are graduating and leaving us for bigger and better things. But that does not mean we’re never going to see or talk to them again. It isn’t like they are dropping off the face of the earth. It’ll be okay.

So goodbye sophomore year! It’s neither been extraordinary nor mediocre.

I’ll see you in four years.

Again, Again, Again

The crowd is buzzing quietly while two students stand on the stage, finishing up their introduction.

I’m on the left of the stage, hunching over my guitar, Wulfric, and making sure that the capo is firmly on the 9th fret.

The blood is rushing through my ears and I can’t hear anything that they’re saying; I just watch them until they motion in my direction.

Smiling softly, I walk over and plug in Wulfric before sitting myself on the uncomfortable high stool.

The photography teacher, Mr. Boyd, helps position the microphone in front of my face. He fiddles with the microphone’s stand and I grip my green star-cut pick in my right hand.

“Can I go?” I ask quietly to him, wondering if the sound people were ready for me.

The crowd laughs and I realize that they could hear me perfectly. Heat rushes to my face and I smile uncomfortably at the audience.

Mr. Boyd nods and my and I hunch over my guitar to begin my harsh, palm-muted intro. It seemed to go far to fast and before I knew it I was singing into the microphone, all of my worries completely gone.

http://www.facebook.com/v/1944801692093

All of a sudden, the song is over and my worries are back.
Every single insecurity and trouble weigh come rushing into my body and I sigh in disappointment.
It always ends too soon.

But the crowd still cheers.

I smile awkwardly and look up at the sound board, making sure I can unplug my guitar without messing with the amplifiers.

The song is over, and all I can think to myself is:

When can I play again?

News of the Week

I hate being sick.

I really, truly hate it.

This week, I went to school a total of two days. I forgot to submit three assignments, and the majority of my time was spent accidentally spacing out.

I went to a doctor who prescribed me anti-biotics because I have some virus that’s intent on having me fail school; so that’s fun. But before they could prescribe me anything, they wanted to make sure I didn’t have strep throat. By doing this, they shoved an abnormally long Q-tip into my mouth and scraped it against the back of my throat. It. Sucked.

So that’s the news of the week: my sickness that has been enveloping me since Sunday night. I just hope it goes away by Monday.

Nerd Rant, Part III

Before I begin this segment of Nerd Rant, I must issue a “formal” apology to all of my musicians out there:

I’M SO SORRY. I’M SO, SO, SO, SO, SO SORRY. I COULDN’T HELP IT, IT DRAGGED ME IN AND NOW I’M TRAPPED.

Well, now that you all probably think I got addicted to some kind of drug… I AM!

My dear friends and odd stranger, I, TheyCallMeDame, am addicted to Glee.

I am a Gleek.

The thing is, Glee goes against all of my principles as a musician and especially as a proud vocalist. They take the best singers and rarely ever give them solos, and the people they do give solos, they are so autotuned that the music producer adds synthesizer to disguise the robot-on-crack sound that autotune gives a singer when they hold a note for too long or slide from one note to another (or you could be like Rebecca Black and use so much autotune that no one can tell what her real voice sounds like, except that it is extremely nasally).

But yes! I have been roped in.

Even though I get insulted when they cover brilliant songs and butcher them completely, totally making me want to cry, I still can’t stop watching.

As a musician, I am ashamed to call myself a Gleek (BUT I CAN’T HELP MYSELF).
And the plot lines are so cheesy and the drama is slightly predictable but what’s a girl to do?

So, I’m sorry to my musician friends, and I’m sorry to my mom, who patiently watches all the episodes with me so I “don’t feel too bad.”
And I’m sorry, but I’m a Gleek.
For real.

This segment of Nerd Rant has come to a close; please stand by.

Nerd Rant, Part II.

Okay, so I’ve already nerd ranted about how Cedric Diggory pwns Edward Cullen, but now I’m going to nerd rant about something else.
Something awesomesauce.
That’s right, I’m going to nerd rant about THE BEST BOOK EVER (in my opinion).

This book is called Unwind, written by Neal Shusterman, and it’s pretty great.

So! This book is essentially about what happens after the “Second Civil War” which was about Pro-Life versus Pro-Choice. After the whole huge war, there is a bill made that appeases to both sides of the war. The bill is called the Bill of Life.

Now, the Bill of Life states that from the moment of conception, a child cannot be aborted. But when the child turns thirteen, the parents have the option to retroactively abort the child until it reaches the age of eighteen. This did not anger those who were Pro-Life because when the child got “aborted” they technically didn’t die. The “aborted” child gets sent to a camp where it waits until it is “unwound.”

When you are unwound they take you apart piece by piece, but still keep you alive. After you are completely taken apart, they send your body parts off to hospitals where other people will receive your organs for transplants or if he or she lost an arm then your arm would be grafted onto them. But even when they get your arm, it’s still your arm. If you were magician, someone who always did card tricks, your arm would still hold the muscle memory of all the actions you did while holding the cards. The person who got your arm would be able to hold a deck of cards and the arm, by itself and without any thought of its new owner, would start to do card tricks that you learned.

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Nerd Rant.

I’m totally bias.
100% bias.
For realz, yo.

Before I start this, I must let something out to some of those curious readers out there: I am a nerd. But no! Not just any nerd. I am the worst type of nerd.

I am a Harry Potter nerd.

NOW THAT THAT’S OUT OF THE WAY!
*ahem*

Dear Stephanie Meyer,

He’ll always be Cedric Diggory to me.

You may have created Edward Cullen with his sparkly sparkles of sparkliness and his lurking on a girl way to young for him (pedophilia, much?) and I KNOW you didn’t specifically ask for Robert Pattinson to play Edward Cullen, but really.

I mean, he went from “Hey Harry, I know we’re totally supposed to be rivals ’cause we’re in this life-threatening tournament of doom and evil-doers but I still think you’re pretty great so I’m gonna let you in on some secrets and totally save your life so you can be at least somewhat prepared for the tasks ahead of as, and hey, you know what? Let’s just win this tournament together, I mean we’re from the same school we could totally just do this for Hogwarts and be the BEST THINGS EVER! And, oh wait, I’m just gonna go die, but don’t worry, I’ll become a ghost for a couple of seconds, and I forgive you for surviving and letting me die and all that jazz, just take me back to my dad, it’s chill.”

TO

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