School Bus Blues

I’ve always hated the school bus, my lack of power and choice of where it goes and when it arrives, it’s never the right temperature in a school bus. You sit there with a sweaty back sticking to the faux leather seats (why do they try so poorly to imitate leather, nobody expects a bus to be a Chariot of luxury) which somehow are always a little too upright. The smell of a bus can never be replicated, like a quiet locker room with some freeway pollution. Your knees press against the seat in front of you desperately trying to get comfortable, that’s an uphill battle— nobody has ever left the school bus feeling refreshed and ready to go. The moment I could finally get my license arrived after freshman year, never again would I be tainted by the horrendous thing they called a vehicle. Never again would I wait hours for it to arrive at the upper campus, and never again would I be forced into that place that’s never big enough, warm enough, or cold enough. Or so I thought since I’m writing this as I make the arduous journey to LA in such a school bus, it’s one of the last times I’ll ride one and there is something so reminiscent of a time I’d long forgotten. This is the new bus though, I never rode it freshman year, still, I’m sitting in the very back and every bump seems to fly us into the air. Still, I’m sweating more than I will in the cross-country race I’m about to run. And still, I think we likely will be late as we travel a whopping fifty-five miles per hour through Woodland Hills. There is something beautiful about a school bus though. The way it groans and struggles to move. Each mile, each foot it travels another desperate journey that it somehow completes without complaint. I like the sounds the bus makes. Every jolt leads to a new one, a hiss of air releasing from the suspension, the squeak of the seats jumping up and down, the sounds of students talking, and the ambiguous notes of music from someone’s AirPods turned up too loud. I like that I have no control over where I’m going or when I’ll be there, perhaps the most relaxing thing I’ll ever do is ride a school bus. The school bus doesn’t care about who you are or what you want, it doesn’t care if you’re working hard enough or if you need to take some time for yourself, it just keeps on struggling one more foot, one more mile, one more groan, hiss, and squeak. 

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pc: Me

obsolete tv shows

Besides Spongebob, I grew up on practically extinct shows my fossil of a Dad made me watch instead of like Disney Channel or something.

My favorite one was MacGyver, (NOT the new one with Lucas Till) which is an action series about a guy who can ‘improvise’ his way out of any situation. Instead of combating danger with weapons like you’d expect, he uses his ability to make gadgets to save himself. To this day I still think the premise is really unique and overall it’s a creative show.

Another much more popular show I watched was the A-team. Again, not the newer movies but the 80’s tv series. It’s also an action about a group of ex-military guys who help people in need and try to clear their name from a crime they didn’t even commit. I remember loving one of the members of the group, Murdoc, who was just this really crazy, goofy guy.

Then there are all the detective shows: Columbo, Magnum PI, Monk, Psych -even Perry Mason- you name it, I’ve seen it. My Dad and I are detective show connoisseurs. He tried to get me to watch cop shows, but they were never my thing (Adam-12, CHiPS).

There was a lot of Sci-fi too, I think Star Trek was my first of these old shows (or Rocky and Bullwinkle). I’ve seen both the Kirk and Picard series, but the former is more memorable/nostalgic for me. There was also Time Tunnel, Twilight Zone, My Favorite Martian, The Munsters, etc.

There is more, this is just the tip of my ancient-shows iceberg. There are some really obscure shows I’ve seen. I bet I’m the only person under 50 who knows what the Petticoat Junction even is. Or the Beverly Hillbillies.

Anyway, I’m actually happy my Dad introduced me to these shows from a young age. They really were charming and shaped much of my early childhood.

pc: https://decider.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/macgyver.png?w=646&h=431&crop=1

24/7 Anxiety (Yay)

Trigger warning for anxiety, OCD, and violent intrusive thoughts

I have been so anxious lately and nothing has been helping. Everything makes me anxious. Talking to people makes me anxious, being near people makes me anxious, people’s expectations make me anxious, and even thinking about those things makes me anxious. Knowing how behind I am in school makes me anxious, and thinking about how I’m disappointing people by not being my normal self is making me anxious, and feeling like I have no one who really likes me at school is making me anxious. It’s making me anxious that my birthday is coming up, and I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself when I become an adult next year. Even being alone in my room makes me anxious because I’m just avoiding my anxious thoughts and the thought of having anxiety makes me anxious.

So yeah, literally everything is making me anxious.

My obsessive thoughts are not helping. Most of it is stuff like people are going to die because of the socks I picked out, my family will get into a car crash because I used the wrong color pen, or that I didn’t step on an equal amount of cracks with both feet and so now my leg is going to get amputated. I get super anxious about everyday actions causing harm to people I love or to myself. I can’t avoid the anxiety even if I’m not thinking about other people and their thoughts of me, because even my brain has turned against me. It’s really hard to keep the obsessive thoughts away, and not doing the compulsions that come with them gives me so much anxiety that it’s overwhelming.

Basically, it feels like I’m in a sinking ship and nothing is working to help me learn to swim and nobody is hearing me when I ask or scream for help and everybody hates me. Anyways.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:SMirC-thumbsup.svg

More poetry

I get money

I like my Bunches of Oats with Honey

My eggs need ’em runny

The weather, it’s sunny

I drink Dasani and got one knee

Easter time, bunny

I am funny

I like candy, yummy

Dead people, mummy

All y’all my sonny

pc: readthinkwrite

Living away from home

When I was 4 years old, I lived away from my parents for the first time as I went to a boarding school for kindergarten. At the age of 11, I moved even further away, to a foreign country on the other side of the earth. Through living independently (not completely independent, I had to live with a host family or in a boarding school) at a relatively young age, I’ve experienced both positive and negative sides to it. 

I can have a lot more freedom since my parents are far away, and I can do whatever I want in my free time. But this also brings the major downside— the loss of self-control. I always had a hard time with time management, and after I started to study abroad, the situation became worse. I didn’t know a lot of English, so I didn’t understand anything in class, I tried to take notes without knowing even what they meant, but it didn’t work, and I still can’t keep up with my class.  Being the only Chinese student, the overwhelming foreign language and environment smacked me. I gave up doing any school work, resulting in a row of Fs on my transcript.

Although I don’t regret anything about my experience, my suggestion to parents who are considering sending their kids to another country is: to make sure their child knows what they are doing before sending them off to a place full of strangers. 

morehouse.edu

House Plants That I’ve Accidentally Killed

So I’m bad with plants. I feel like it’s not that surprising of detail to know once you know me since I’m not exactly good with responsibility, but I’m impressively bad with plants. Here are some house plant species that I’ve tried to keep and ended up killing somehow.

https://www.almanac.com/plant/aloe-vera

Aloe Vera

Starting off strong with the plant that house plant connoisseurs like to claim as the “unkillable plant.” I managed to kill two of these guys somehow. I’m really not sure what happened. I think they just wanted more sun or more affection or something. I felt really bad when they died since I was trying to rescue them because one of them was browning. Instead, I murdered them.

https://www.sfgate.com/shopping/article/best-air-purifying-plants-16288121.php

Ivy

I really thought I’d be able to take care of this guy. They’re supposed to have indirect light, which is exactly how my room is set up, but my plant ended up in the kitchen somehow. I did my best to keep it nicely watered, and I really don’t know what happened. Probably that’s why I keep killing plants– I have no idea what to do with them. Anyways, flies started to hang out around it, and a week or two later it was fully brown. I was really sad.

https://www.housebeautiful.com/lifestyle/g29132632/indoor-blooming-plants/

Kalanchoe

This guy was almost a lost cause from the start. It came home with me from Lowe’s in perfect condition and decided it hated me and my family and died like a week later. I really have no idea what happened.

http://www.home-designing.com/best-low-light-indoor-house-plants-for-sale

Lemon Button Fern

I gotta be honest, I killed this plant so long ago that I don’t even know if it was this species. It kinda looked like this one, though, so let’s pretend it was this one. I rescued it from my aunt throwing it away while cleaning out her room, and it actually lived for pretty long before deciding that it didn’t like my house anymore. My aunt got her to wish of throwing it away eventually.

And now, to change things up, a plant I have so far kept living

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dracaena_sanderiana

Bamboo

I have a little bamboo plant that’s been living with me for a few months now. It stays in my room, and it lives in a little dinosaur pot. It’s very cute. I’m hoping this guy will stay with me until at least college.

So, I’m not good with plants. But there might be a bright future for my little bamboo plant and me. We’re just gonna have to see what happens.

I Saw An Opossum The Other Day

There I was, a passenger in my mom’s car at night, on my way to my grandparents’ house, when I saw him.

I noticed a shape out of the corner of my eye, but I hardly thought anything of it. I’m a naturally curious person, though, so I turned my head to look at it from a better angle after a moment.

At first I thought it was a cat. However, if it were a cat, it’d be a very short one, and it had toes that were unlike any cat I’d ever seen. My next thought was that it might be a huge rat.

And then it hit me.

I quickly exclaimed to my mom, “We have to turn around! I think I just saw a possum!”

My mom whipped a three-point-turn in the middle of the road and stopped just in front of the driveway of the stranger’s house. In the illumination of the KIA’s headlights, I saw him.

It was an opossum.

Over my mom’s warnings of, “Don’t you dare get out of the car and chase him!” I whipped out my phone and started taking pictures of the beautiful little guy. A second later, he heard our engine (for opossums have bad eyesight and the lights didn’t bother him) and scurried away. And he was fast!

See, most opossums are pretty slow. They meander at their own pace through yards and forests, and when confronted, they aren’t fast enough to run away from predators like mountain lions or bears, so they have a freeze reaction and play dead.

But this little guy went running like he had been training for this moment his whole life. In the blink of an eye, his short little legs went flying and he sprinted up the driveway at the fastest trot I’ve ever seen and proceeded to climb the outdoor stairs into the person’s yard.

He was out of sight – but certainly not out of mind – in just seconds. And then my mom, my grandparents, and later my aunt had to listen to my happy cries of, “A possum!! Oh, a possum!!” for the rest of the night.

I named him Bruce Banner.

Photo Credit: me (treefroggy)

Sorry for the wonky quality– the best quality picture I got showed too much of the street around the house for me to comfortably post it. Privacy, and all that. You can still see Bruce’s beauty and his speedy legs.

Homesick

“Do you miss home?” “Do you miss your parents?” As an international student, these are the questions that I receive most often from people. My answer has always been no, and inexplicably, I’ve never missed home while I’m in a foreign country.

But that answer has changed recently.

During Christmas break, I lived near the LA area, where large Chinese community exists. There, you can find almost anything from China and other places in Asia. I never knew that there could be such a place in the US.

When I had authentic Chinese food in one of the restaurants, I suddenly realized that I do miss home. Or more precisely, the two years of my life in China before I came here. I miss my old school, my friends, and my hometown Nanking. I had a sudden urge to book a flight and go back at that moment. But after 5 seconds, I remembered that my friends are not in China either, they are in Germany, Ireland, Canada… just the same as me.

The feeling of nostalgia was something that I never experienced, and I now I finally understood how other people felt when they say they missed home.

Photo Credit: https://www.welikela.com/

No Innocence to Lose

What is the point of shielding children from the more “negative” parts of life? For my entire life, I have never been able to wrap my head around why some people decide to actively shield their kids from discovering for figuring out more “adult” aspects of life. I’m not saying that every parent should give their kid a copy of Grand Theft Auto or Doom at age five as I have seen firsthand how that affects certain people. I believe that there is a perfect balance of what information a kid can take in as they grow up.

This balance varies greatly from person to person, but even if some kids can take more than others, it’s better to just let them find out on their own and have a real conversation about what it is than flat out blocking them from finding out. The second that a parent tells kids not to do something and doesn’t give a very good reason of why they shouldn’t do it, the kid is going to become curious and want to do it anyways. If a kid finds out what something is or even experiences it, there’s no point in lying about it. The kid already has an idea of what it is, and if you won’t tell them you can bet the internet will. It’s far better to just be honest and give the tools that the kid needs to be safe and educated about all these new things they’re learning.

What many parents don’t realize is that kids are growing up with a digital web that can get them what they want when they want it without anyone knowing, and if the kids aren’t taught how to navigate all of this with a level head, they could find themselves in a dangerous situation. At the end of the day, kids have free will that is just as strong as any adults, they will learn about life with or without the help of an adult mentor.

Art Credit- Kazuhiro Hori

Philosophy For Children

http://www.peopleinneed.net

Philosophy seems distant from young children, but early exposure to philosophy and philosophical thinking can benefit children’s future development.

A lot of times, kids can come up with questions that are hard to answer, like “What is space?” “What is right and wrong?”.

Obviously, we can’t explain Einstein’s theory of time relativity to them when they ask what is the meaning of time. These questions are mostly either involving too many different concepts, or there is simply no absolutely right answer. This is when philosophical thinking comes into play, children can learn and develop their own answers.

By learning various concepts, children can improve in academic learning and form a more organized understanding of the world.


Some people may argue that it is too early for children to start “thinking about thinking” or it could be overwhelming. And yes, it is a possibility. Philosophy for children doesn’t need to include obscure terminology or deep philosophical history. Basic themes like Logicism and elementary ethics are enough and comprehensible for elementary or middle school students.


French students are required to learn philosophy in the last year of secondary school. Educational systems around the world should consider adding philosophy to the curriculum.