So, it’s Sunday afternoon… and I just realized, I forgot to write my blog. You’re probably thinking, how can you forget your blog, it’s a weekly thing and it’s always mentioned. Well I somehow did, and now I feel like I’m a hundred steps behind.
I recently started a new system of keeping track of things for school, guess it isn’t working. The new system I’m currently using is to write things I need to do on a sticky note and stick them to my desk where I can see them. It felt like it was working and I was more on top of things compared to before, but I’ve managed to mess it up.
The blog isn’t the only thing I forgot. It turned out I forgot something for another class, but it was before I started the system, which I don’t think really counts, but still. Now I feel like I’m falling behind in everything, and I’m gonna fail every class from here on out. The worst part is that it has only been about three weeks since school started, but somehow, the effort I’m putting in currently feels like nothing compared to everybody else.
Over the summer, I decided to start going to the gym. In the summer heat, my days were primarily spent indoors except for golfing in the afternoons. I began to feel sluggish and less active than I thought I needed to be.
Starting as a beginner in a public gym was intimidating at first. Walking in and passing people who could bench press double my body weight didn’t help me feel welcomed.
I found a spot near the corner, put on my music, and started to work. Each time the weight was lifted, a burning yet rewarding feeling was felt in the intended muscle. As I fatigued more, the feeling increased.
While going to the gym is often described as painful, it is an indescribable feeling that combines the struggle of the body with the relief of the mind.
It often takes motivation from getting off the bed or couch to get to the gym, but the rewards it brings outweigh the dread. I’ve found that the longer I have been doing it, the more it has become a habit rather than a deliberate action.
Seeing the gradual improvements over time, even if it’s 5 pounds, shows that the work is paying off and keeps me wanting to show up the next day.
Today I experienced overstimulation so horrible that I couldn’t function properly. I could barely breathe out of my nose because of this September sickness. It was humid and rainy, so I felt hot and cold at the same time, which are the worst two weathers to have on a school day. The hood on my hoodie was in my way the whole day, that it was all I could focus on when doing school work. I also had a surprise quiz in my favorite class, Spanish, which I did not study for and probably failed because of my lack of focus. My Spanish class today was before lunch, so I had to walk up a large flight of stairs, which I could barely do because I can’t breathe. I also had a presentation for my AP class, and I had to read off of a slide that I did not make and did not understand a word from, which impacted my grade. Luckily, this very overstimulating week is almost over, and hopefully next week will be more tolerable.
This weekend I’m going to my friend’s homecoming, and I’m just really stressed out. I forgot that she had invited me two months ago, so I ordered my dress a week ago. It arrived yesterday, which is two days before, and I kind of hate it. I have so much work that I need to catch up on, and I feel like homecoming is just going to take over my weekend. I also have no idea what time the dance starts and ends, and I really don’t like not having plans. We are supposed to get ready with a group of girls before, and I have never met at least half of them, so that’s probably going to be awkward. Even though I’m nervous, I’m still excited because we are getting ready at our friend’s house, who is now in college, as her sister is having people over to get ready. My friends and I have already claimed to get prepared in our friend’s room, which is in college, because it would honestly be disrespectful if someone else who wasn’t us got ready in her room. I am manifesting that everything goes well tomorrow because I just see a lot of things that could go wrong.
Nostalgia is by far one of the worst feelings ever, at least for me. I feel like I have nostalgia even when I’m living in the moment; it haunts me. Every time I go out or do something fun, I’m flooded with it. No matter if it’s a song, moment, or memory. I basically just unlock the vibe or the feeling I had during some time in the past. I don’t really know how to explain it. I can just feel how I felt in the moment when I think back on it. Just like smelling an old perfume or candle from a special time in your past. It makes you remember and miss everything so deeply.
I miss being little; it was such a special time in life. The nostalgia from when I was younger is the thing that truly haunts me the most, out of everything. I miss Christmas, or any holiday, and the feeling I had for them when I was younger. It’s so different now, and I’m changing so fast. I didn’t even realize that all those special times I had were gone. And I will never get to experience them again.
Every so often, an artist goes into an art block. Doesn’t know what to draw, doesn’t know what to write, doesn’t know how to play music, doesn’t know how to create. You try writing? It’s not good enough to draft, so you delete it. You try drawing? The head shape looks like a potato. You try playing music? The tabs are too fast, and you want to smash your instrument.
I, unfortunately, felt like this from the start of August to just a few days ago. Being influenced by comics such as The Umbrella Academy (before it was a show) and Deathwish, I felt like I needed to be like the artists, taking some of their aspects of art and putting them in my own. Coming back to just a few days ago, I spent the night with my uncle Dan and my aunt Julia.
They influence me in art and music in more ways than one, showing me songs that were prominent back when they were near my age and showing me their own art, on Dan’s side of things. They showed me Queens of the Stone Age, Gorillaz, White Zombie, and so much more.
Back to whenever I went to their place for the weekend. We were planning on playing Dungeons and Dragons, but that all went into a mess of just talking about music and our lives. Nonetheless, it was fun, and they gave me two new sketchbooks I could use to draw.
Coming home, I asked myself, “What should I draw?” I sat on it for a minute, deciding to doodle a bit. First one? Looked like a mutilated animal. Second? Yeah, now we were getting somewhere. I proceed to draw one of my Original Characters, Hal Smith (First name pronounced hall…), a character in the book I’ve been attempting to write for the past year.
Hal is one of my favorite tropes in all of media, labeled as ‘Haunting the Narrative’. That’s whenever a character in a show or a novel’s presence is absent or minimal, yet their actions, choices, and existence have a profound impact on the plot. Some examples of this are Pink Diamond in Steven Universe, Doug Rattman in the Portal franchise, Mark Heathcliff in The Mandela Catalog, Sauron in The Lord of the Rings, John Kramer in the Saw franchise, Caleb Wittebane in The Owl House, and so many more.
With this new motivation, I draw him and paste him in my new sketchbook, admiring the new piece of work in the book I had previously decorated. I’m working hard to get out of art block, but that’s what comes whenever you’re an artist.
The three long miles of cross country are some of the most painful moments to ever experience, but ultimately worth it in the end. The hills and the long stretches of dirt show the true pain and misery of the sport. Each day of training is painful and boring, but once you get to the moment in the race when the finish line is in sight, it is all worth it. Every runner is fighting, putting all their strength into finishing those miles as fast as they can. With all the torture of running through the heat, the hills, and the injury, that feeling when you pass the finish line is unlike anything else. Not only do you have to be in amazing shape, but you also need to have an amazing and powerful mindset. With the right mindset, the chances of succeeding are much higher, and as long as your mindset is strong and you have a very strong willpower, you can do anything. Even with the pain, cross country is a sport like no other and will always be one of the most mentally challenging but the most rewarding sports of all time.
Junior year is famed with being the hardest year of high school. Since I finished my junior year I’ve been ecstatic to go back to something easier with my senior year. I was lied to.
Difficult schoolwork and intense memorization. Sports until the sun sets and games until my eyes droop. Senior Capstone and overwhelming deadlines. College essays and applications galore that I can’t keep track of. I’ve never been so overwhelmed before in my life.
At the end of my junior year I was giving up and not putting in good effort whatsoever. I assumed that the summer would regenerate my motivation like it had every other year, but no. I feel the exact same as I did last May. I go through the motions but don’t truly memorize work. I participate in sports at the expense of my energy and time spent on schoolwork. I procrastinate the Capstone because I keep telling myself I have five months to work. I write my college essays and fill out my applications. Is it good enough? Will all of my hard work finally pay off?
I don’t know how my senior year will play out yet but I do know it will be difficult. I hope to get back into the groove and stay consistent. I also hope that people will stop lying about junior year being the hardest because senior year surpasses it drastically.
Over the summer, my sister turned 15, and since we are Mexican, she had a quinceañera! Her party wasn’t very traditional; it was in someone’s backyard, and it was planned a week before. Her dress was beautiful, but it wasn’t the traditional ball gown. It was sparkly and blue with many flowers. Although it wasn’t your typical quinceañera, it was still a long night full of fun!
This party was the last Mexican party I have been to. Mexican parties are very different from American parties. Every party I go to, the music is so loud I can hear it in my bones, and my heart beat is replaced by the tempo of the music. The dance floor is never empty; you can always count on someone’s drunk uncle or aunt to bust a move. Not to mention the food is always delectable. At my sister’s quinceañera, we had birria tacos, rice, beans, and tons of snacks. Birria is a stew with meat that is slow-cooked for multiple hours on end. The longer it is cooked, the better it is.
Parties are a group venture; they help bring the community together, especially quinces. We had about 10 people offer to buy stuff for the party, from the cake, to the table decorations, to even a mechanical bull. It was so much fun! I miss going to Mexican parties.
Last night, I sat down to write this blog when my phone buzzed. I tried to ignore it by muting my phone and telling myself I would look at it later, but I couldn’t resist. My intention was just to open it, respond to a few texts, and then go back to writing. Next thing I knew, an hour had passed, lost to scrolling through different apps and fulfilling my need for stimulation.
Is doomscrolling ruining our attention spans? We consume so much media in 10–20 second clips that it becomes harder and harder to concentrate on anything less stimulating.
Simple tasks that aren’t instantly rewarding feel impossible to complete. Students struggle to pay attention to lectures or to read long pieces of writing.
We have the option to scroll aimlessly, constantly fluctuating our emotions—but in real life, this option doesn’t exist. That’s why we so often give in to our addiction.
Our concentration skills are rapidly decreasing. In the future, the real world may feel too understimulating for us. At what point does “brain rot” become irreversible? And how soon will it come?
OVS Journalism Blog 
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