I don’t think that there is a stronger connection between a mother and her kids. Recently me and my roommate stayed up late discussing how much we love our moms. It ended with us sobbing because we genuinely don’t know what we would do without our moms once they die. I know it is a dark thought, but I know that one day I will need to find a way to live without her. Moms get so little credit for all that they sacrifice. My mom allows me to release any anger or sadness onto her, draining her, and then she still has the energy to make me feel better. My mom has to listen to so many complaints from me, and even if she doesn’t care about whatever stupid thing I’m ranting about, she pretends to. Whenever I need any type of advice she is always here to help, even if I don’t listen. There is no one I could love or appreciate more.
I went into this year believing I was going to be an academic weapon, but little did I know I would be an academic victim. My friends always get annoyed when after I test, I say, “Omg, I definitely just failed that.” They get annoyed because I usually don’t actually fail; I generally score between an A and a high b, but recently, I actually have been failing. This year, here are some test/quiz scores.
ALG 2 8/30 26%
ALG 2 7/20 35%
Spanish 2 12/21 60%
Spanish 2 7/20 35%
English 7/13 53%
These are just some of the humbling scores I have received this year. Grades came out for the quarter, and I know how this sounds, but I got my first-ever c, which was humbling. The moral of this blog is that this year is hugely humbling, and I would love to make the honor roll and go on the honors trip, but I am trying to be realistic, and I just don’t think that’s happening.
Just putting it out there, this is not me trying to be emo. However, recently, I have been thinking about the purpose of a lot of things that we as humans do. Like, what is the point? Why, in my case, am I stressing myself out so much this year by taking hard classes? I can still have a future with a simpler Moodle home page, but I so intensely crave the academic validation I get through seeing a good grade next to a hard class. But, at the same time, there is genuinely no point to a lot of any of it. Such a philosophy can also be applied to other aspects of life. It can even go as far as what is the meaning of life, which is a whole separate rant. I don’t know, I just have been feeling lately, with everything I do, that I theoretically have no reason to be doing it. I guess I always just revert back to “do everything to live my life to the fullest doing things that make me happy.” It’s not a horrible place to be, but I just can’t shake the feeling that there is more for me out there than simply graduating high school, going to college, starting to work for the next 50 years of my life, retiring, and that’s it. I don’t know, I always ask myself why that seems to be the trajectory of life that a lot of people fall into. Just seems a little monotonous to me. But, if not that, then what?
If you were to tell me even a few years ago that I would no longer be living with my family in my childhood house, I would simply not believe you. I never even knew I was going to be attending boarding school until the very start of my eighth-grade year. For the longest time, I had the preconceived notion that I would follow the path of most of the kids my age; make the transition from middle to high school seamlessly by attending the high school in the area. However, as the time came closer and closer for me to make a decision, I had a sudden shift in my mindset. For my entire life, I had been stagnant. I lived in the same house I grew up in my entire childhood in the same small town, attended the same school I had since I was three in Pre-K 3, and pretty much had the same life with the same friends, family, hobbies, etc. Something my eigth grade year clicked in me, and I wanted change.
Now, I am normally the type of person who strongly dislikes change, as it is often uncomfortable for me. This probably has something to do with my childhood before attending OVS. Regardless, I interestingly felt a strong urge nearing the end of my elementary and middle school career to get out. So, I research schools in Southern Califronia, as I had always loved the area from the few vacations my family took when I was younger. You probably know the rest. I applied, got in, and now I am here.
Now this being my third year living on campus, I have overcome some of the major struggles in adjusting to such a drastically different way of life. At the start, it was quite challenging for me to adapt to a lot of what it takes to live in a dorm setting. Everything from my day-to-day interactions to my morning and night routines went through drastic changes. I also don’t constantly have my mom, who is the most important person in my life, physically there to support me. Such circumstances have taught me to be drastically more independent and hold my ground as an individual person.
I’m not saying I have learnt everything, as that is simply impossible being my age. Still, I do believe I have grown as a person in ways I wouldn’t have if I was still at home attending high school in my childhood town. I have learnt how to share my space better (something I needed being an only child), work better with others, respect people’s space, and overall be more independent. I think that will hopefully give me a head start in college, as I am already accustomed to dorm life. Regardless, I am still incredibly grateful for the experience and am excited to see where it can help me in the future.
I don’t like the idea of growing up. I always listened when people told me not to grow up so fast because I figured they knew something I didn’t. I still feel like I grew up too fast. I want to be the age I am forever. I understand why people have kids so they can relive their childhood but it’s not the same as really being a kid. I want my creativity back and the way I used to think. If I already want to go back then how am I gonna feel about it as an adult? I guess it’s a good thing and I really should look at it on the bright side. There’s a new day after day and year after year with so much opportunity. I might as well take advantage of it as best I can. My goal is never to become someone who does not appreciate the life I have.
To clear up some confusion, I did not get pink eye by engaging in unholy activities. My current hypothesis is that I got it at the motel I was staying at when I went to play volleyball or at the tournament and when I shook hands with the other team and then wiped my forehead, which caused the bacteria to get in my eye. I’m not a doctor, so I don’t know all the symptoms, but I can share the ones I was experiencing. The main few things were redness in my eyes, which made people a bit suspicious that I was doing some corrupt activities, itchiness in both my eyes (since I had it in both eyes), and the most interesting one was I was my eyes were sensitive to light so things look either really blurry or really bright I would go outside and just get blinded, and if I look at a lightbulb, I would see rainbows around it in a circle. Honestly, it wasn’t the worst thing I’ve experienced before. I would definitely rather have it than pink eye than a fever, so my rating is 4.5/10.
Surfing is thrilling. Especially when you do not know how to swim. This morning marked the second time I gave myself to the waves without a way to escape their grip if things went south. After forcing myself out of a warm bed at 5:00 a.m. and immersing myself in the cold of the dawn once, I became addicted. The perfect peace and clarity of mind that I experienced is what gets me out there in spite of my inability to swim. Still, every time I enter the tide, it seems as if I am playing with my fortune. Could this time be my last one? In my case, a mistake can be fatal. Although so far, things have been smooth, I am certain there is yet to be a moment when I will stand on the edge. Nonetheless, the calm and happiness I experience on the waves will draw me in again and again
The best thing in life is sharing a love with people that doesn’t go away no matter the time or distance. I don’t like to text or facetime people. In general, I really don’t like having full conversations on a phone at all when I would much rather see them in person. Being able to go periods of time without talking yet knowing that the connection is still there waiting for you is a feeling of safety. The hard part with these connections is that when you are able to finally see them again you remember the full extent of how much you miss them and how much they really mean to you. Caring about someone and being away from them is hard. You live separate lives that don’t revolve around each other and the little details about your day that they would’ve experienced with you are now lost to the distance. It hurts a little to realize that the most recent additions to your vocabulary and the jokes in reference to niche lived moments don’t 100% align anymore. It’s just a little bit off. While this is sometimes saddening, I know that only a week spent together means being fully in sync again – like no one had ever been apart in the first place. Due to distance, these feelings of love and closeness cycle but I’m confident in this cycle and the people in my life I cycle with.
I miss last school year so much when I had much more freedom. This school year, rules are much more enforced, which makes sense, but I feel like boarding school this year is a much sadder environment because of this. Last year, people were always in each other’s rooms, and we would stay up late watching movies, cooking, and dancing. My homework load was much lighter last year, but I’m determined that I would be able to still do the things we did last year even with more homework now. Currently, all I do at night is procrastinate completing my homework. I feel so much more drained and less energized now, although I would get just as much or even less sleep last year. Before, having some sense of freedom was what kept me going, but now the rules have gotten so strict that I can’t even brush my teeth past ten at night.
The conflict between Palestine and Israel is extremely complex, so I am approaching it from a position of humility.
I want to talk about the “savagery” vs “civilization” narrative I have seen in countless social media posts
Many have conveniently adopted the “savagery” vs “civilization” narrative. “Savagery” is when fanatics shoot people on cameras and drive half-naked, beaten women on the streets. “Civilization” is when a rocket launched by a drone levels a residential building. In the first case, the camera is going to be stained by blood, in the second one, the camera lens is far enough to not see the crushing of the heads and tearing of the limbs. The violence done by “savages” is real, evoking, close; the violence done by “civilization” is unreal, distanced, and easy to ignore. The first one is called terrorism, the second one is a long-range precision strike weapon. Terrorists cause deaths, civilization causes collateral damage. Terrorism is abominable, the strategic operations carried out by the civilization are easy to ignore. Gaza is an experiment of locking 2 million people on a tiny patch of land and forcing them into poverty, lack of basic human needs, and inability to flee. The generations raised in this chaos and destruction become an excellent recruiting base for extremist organizations like HAMAS. Searching for the right or wrong amid this war seems pointless to me. We as humanity are collectively guilty of terror like this occurring, and we as humanity are collectively responsible for creating a better future.
OVS Journalism Blog 
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