Tag: batman

Reviewing the Movies I watched this Weekend

cannassuerLeave a comment

Over the weekend I had an awful cold. One of those colds that just shut down both your brain and your respiratory system to the point that playing video games or doing anything that’s not lying down feels like a chore. So instead of doing my ritual video gaming I did something totally out of character and actually sat through not just one but three movies. Long ones too. Over the course of Saturday afternoon, I watched Marvel’s Eternals, The Dark Knight Rises, and Joker.

I started with Marvel’s Eternals, one of the first Marvel films in years to get a trash rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Going into this movie, I was already expecting this movie to be not that great. I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect, but this movie fully exceeded my expectations. It is not a good film. First of all, they bring in an entirely new group of heroes who are supposed to be immortal and help birth planets but they’re pitifully weak for the task they’re put up to. Secondly, they implant a completely new villain who was nowhere to be found in any other marvel movie despite being seemingly pretty abundant in the world, so much so that an entire group of heroes was created to fight them. Not only that, but the whole point of these heroes’ existence is to help life flourish throughout the universe and then continue to neglect a situation in which Thanos tries to wipe out half of all life. In general, this movie suffers from a pretty unrelatable cast of characters and more plot holes than the entire franchise so I really don’t understand how Marvel pulled off such a mediocre film after such a reigning decade of great movies.

Photo Credit: The Cosmic Circus

The next movie I watched was The Dark Knight Rises which was a long-overdue viewing experience for me. I had seen the first of the trilogy at a very young age and then watched Dark Knight multiple times throughout my life because that movie absolutely slaps. I honestly don’t know what I was thinking about not watching Dark Knight Rises for so long I mean Christopher Nolan’s Batman movies are awesome. Although this one doesn’t have as compelling or coherent of a plot as the one preceding it, Dark Knight rises is a very good-looking and well-shot movie with a pretty moving plot for a DC/Batman movie. Christopher Nolan does a great job of blurring the line between good and evil to create a tangible dilemma that Batman/Bruce Wayne has to face throughout the plot. Although this movie doesn’t live up to its predecessor, it is a great continuation of the trilogy and a good way to cap it off.

Photo Credit: Slant Magazine

Joker was the last movie I watched and this one was a very different story. This movie is straight-up depressing. This movie is a fantastic example of the direction that DC needs to take to be taken seriously in Hollywood. This movie takes Gotham, a city that is very prevalent in the DC universe and makes it a very tangible, and very depressing place with deep-rooted economical issues that caused an uproar of poverty. And it doesn’t just show that by having a lot of crime. There are living in rundown apartment buildings, suffering to find a living, and even budget cuts in mental health institutions. Instead of Gotham just seeming like a playground for Batman, it is now a mirror of the depressing reality that is living in poverty in a city, the neglect of the U.S government to fix these many problems such as mental health and care, and the empty promises by those who are wealthy to fix all of this. This whole film completely flips the Batman story on its head. Now you have this horrible and unsavable town in which people are doing whatever they can to help themselves out of this crushing situation that they didn’t even cause. It makes all the people previously beaten into a coma by Batman seem almost innocent for their crimes compared to the heinous neglect of the lower class by both him and his father. By the end of the movie I was kind of waiting for them to kill Bruce’s parents because, in all honesty, Thomas deserved it. Overall, this movie is the direction that DC needs to take with their films because this is a clear improvement over everything they made after the Dark Knight Trilogy.

Photo Credit: The New Yorker

Face First into a Desk

jared315Leave a comment

When I was a wee boy, I had uncontainable energy and need to be moving. This symptom of ADHD never ceased, including the time my dad had taken me to his work office so he could make sure his files would be safe before our family went on vacation. My attention was not on my dad’s files at all, as one would expect of a six year old. I was focused on my dad’s rolling, cushioned, and spinning chair. I was more than focused by this chair, I was enticed. In my little six year old mind, I had to jump on this chair, I didn’t have a choice. It is a well-known rule to young children, that if there is a rolling, cushioned, spinning chair, you have to spin. So, that’s what I did, I spun. A six year old reached terminal velocity that day with the help of his also little brother. But this record promptly switched to a vault record as I soon went flying across the room. I must’ve been in the air for minutes until I speedily barreled into the corner of my dad’s conference desk. I was physically stuck on the desk for a few moments before falling off and causing further trauma to my head by banging it in a recycling bin. At this point in time I started teleporting between settings, ending up in beds I didn’t remember crawling into, or rooms I didn’t walk into. Eventually, I ended up in front of a screening of Batman: The Animated Series. I didn’t know how I had gotten there, but I just knew I didn’t want to leave. Sadly, I was put to sleep as the intro was ending, I soon woke up with 23 stitches in my small nose. I didn’t know 23 stitches could fit onto a nose, let alone a six year old’s nose, but I didn’t care. All I cared about was how cool I would look going back to Kindergarten.

Swivel chair definition and meaning | Collins English Dictionary

photo credit:Pinterest

Batman v. Spiderman v. Superman

theycallmedameLeave a comment

Earlier today I was reminded of an essay question I was given last year. It read:

Who would win in a battle: Batman, Spiderman, or Superman?

I have no doubt in my mind that Batman would win.

I am also the only person in my world history class who thinks so.

Batman would easily take out Spiderman with a Batarang before Spiderman could even think to spin one of his wimpy little webs.

Then there is the debate about Superman beating Batman. But Superman Would. Not. Win.

Batman’s true identity (shh! don’t tell!), Bruce Wayne, is one of the wealthiest men in the entire world. Anyone who thinks he wouldn’t be able to get a large amount of Kryptonite at the snap of his fingers is sorely mistaken. And although Superman appears to be indestructible, he can be killed.

Batman would have the Kryptonite ready for when Superman came bursting through a wall or a billboard or a freaking chihuahua, and Superman would be weak and feeble. Then Batman would tie Superman tight with a Batrope or a Batlasso or a Batscarf or a Batsomething.

And even though Superman could potentially get free if he escaped the Kryptonite infested areas, he has morals, and therefore would be too much of a girl to kill Batman.

Batman, however, is prepared to be the bad guy if need be, and the bad guys tend to kill… Mercilessly.

So before Superman could get away from the Kryptonite, Batman would be a badass and kill him. Or harm him so badly that Superman would not be able to hurt Batman and then he would be too afraid of Batman to ever go near him again and so Superman would run to his Superfriends and cry Supertears and write down his feelings in his Superdiary.

The End.