Tag: bed

A Time for Change.

yrreskrap2 Comments

Change is healthy.

Today, before I left the dorms for the Ojai Farmer’s Market, I made a spur of the moment decision to change my room around. My bed has been rearranged. My dresser once cluttered with various cosmetics and toiletries is now bare, my small pink and white refrigerator brandishing those same perfumes and toothbrushes.

It feels good.

I spent a large part of my day cleaning and reorganizing and reopening and removing. I usually feel a need for this sort of change at the end of the school year in the dormitories.

Today was different though.

As I am beginning to sum up my five years at Ojai Valley School, writing the last pages of my high school days, priming for the next chapter of my life, I am slowly growing more anxious, scared, and unsure.

What is undeniable is my insatiable desire to graduate. 

I don’t know what it is. A part of me does not want to leave, knowing how much I will miss this place, a part has been growing since September. I guess I am scared to leave this small hill that blessed me with so many happy, great memories but, I think I am too scared to leave the people I love so much behind.

But time is surely passing by faster this year…

I only wish that I make sure this year is great. I am happier than I ever was with my friends and the people I surround myself with. And I want to leave feeling elated and proud.

COLLEGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now that is what I cannot get off my mind. Where will I GO!? I find out the results of my Early Evaluation application to Wellesley College. But after that, I have another dreaded MONTH of waiting for results. Goodness gracious. The college process is absolutely dreadful. Hopefully, great news will unfold in the upcoming weeks!!

Wish Me Luck.

 

Tired.

theycallmedame1 Comment

It is a type of drowsiness that envelops your entire being. It wraps around your body in a warm embrace and then suddenly dunks you into the Atlantic Ocean. It is unavoidable. You may postpone it, but you cannot escape the overwhelming exhaustion that becomes your entire soul.

You try to keep your eyes open, but if feels as though 20 bags of cement are on top of each lid, forcing them down, down, down. You have to stay awake, you have important things to do that could not possibly wait until morning, but you cannot control your subconscious.

Every day, I will wake up tired. Every day, I will be longing to be in my bed, eyes shut, and drifting softly into my dreams. No matter how much sleep I get the night before, I will forever be tired.

I feel like I could fall asleep all day, but when it comes the time where I am in my bed, my eyes refuse to close. All of a sudden, I am wide awake, and there is nothing I can do about it.

Tired, drowsy, and sleepy turn into awake, distressed, and uncomfortable.

When the day comes that I wake up, well rested and ready to start my day, I will be no less then shocked.

When the day comes, if the day comes?

I am awaiting it.