Tag: Blogging

People Watching

justthatonegirllLeave a comment

I watch the window as I sit at work. Waiting for someone to come in on this cold, wet day. Watching outside for even the shortest time, I notice so many different people. A pair of friends walk by, bags in their hands, and I wonder how long they have been friends. A langer family walks by like a flock of geese piled together to keep warm. The kids turn to peer in the windows of the shops. The lights for the holiday season make the darkness of the night brighter. I watch a cold, frail woman lug her big wagon full of everything she has, walk by without a jacket to keep her warm through the crisp winter. A man runs by frantically, looking scared, did something happen in town I think silently to myself. No, nothing happened he must have been in a rush for something I know as a couple passes happily hand in hand smiles on both faces. A little girl and her mom walk by the little girl had a toy in her hand. Admiring the toy her mom looks down admiring the girl. I sit and I wait. No one has walked by again. No one has come in my work in a while. It is probably because I work at an air-conditioned ice cream shop in this keen weather. Cars fly by the windows as I still wait for my last person to write about. Maybe it will be a young family? Maybe a large friend group? How about an old couple holding on to one another? I am unaware. I hope it isn’t one of those people who walks slowly past the window and stares in the shop not planning on walking in. It is a tall slim man. He has a headlamp on his head and is in a warm looking pile of clothes. Where is he walking to? Does he take a walk every night? Does he have a family waiting for him to start eating dinner with him? We will never know. The beauty of people watching. We won’t ever know what people are doing. Where they are going to. Why are they here? My last description because someone just walked by. A sad looking man in blue. He strolls by and it fascinates me to ponder on why this man is so sad and alone.

PC:Me

My issue with Spotify Wrapped

kittenqueen3Leave a comment

On November 29, I woke up and connected my phone to my speaker and noticed Spotify wrapped came out. I was excited at first, but I realized my disappointment at this same time last year. I personally believe Spotify wrapped is hacked for two reasons. First, on my top artists list, I had 21 Savage, who I never listen to unless he is featured on a Drake song. I personally listen to a lot of Zach Bryan and Lana Del Ray, and I believe they should have been there instead of 21 Savage. Secondly, I believe I listened to way more minutes because I always listen to music when doing homework, getting ready, showering, eating ,biking and often have aux in the car. The one thing I do like about Spotify Wrapped is everyone posts it and it gives sorta a insight in peoples lives. The music people listen to say a lot about them and Spotify Wrapped is a good way to learn a little about people you don’t know.

PC:Me

Driving

poofypuffyLeave a comment

When I was fifteen, I kept telling myself that I would have my license as soon as I turned sixteen. However, I didn’t start driver’s ed until I turned sixteen. I took months to start it, forget about it, and then finish it. I took the permit test two weeks ago, which was four months after I finished driver’s ed. However, I finally got behind the wheel and drove around a parking lot for the first time! Thirty seconds in I told my dad there was no way I would ever drive on the street. I don’t think I drove faster than ten mph at any point; the fact that people drive at seven times that speed every day baffles me. Driving reminded me that cars are completely operated by people (most of the time). Sitting in a car or seeing cars moving everywhere every day seems so natural and instinctive that everything almost seems automatic; it feels as if the cars move on their own the way that clouds or birds do.

Picture Credit: Darwin Vegher

note to self

poofypuffyLeave a comment

Dear Friend,

I feel we never get to talk anymore.

It’s not your fault, I know we are both very busy.

But are we really? If I have the time to lay on the floor and scroll on my phone for hours, if I have the time to sit and do nothing everywhere- in lunch lines, in cars, in classrooms, shouldn’t I have found a moment for you? I should have and I’m sorry.

It’s not all my fault though. You lay on the same floor, scroll the same phone, stand in the same lines, sit in the same car, wait out the same classes. You should have found time. 

I think sometimes, I just don’t like you very much. I’d just rather scroll on my phone and think about nothing than work through anything with you. You’ve let me down a lot, and sometimes I don’t even know if I trust you. You forget things that you really should have remembered, and you say things when you really should have kept your mouth shut. When I am feeling down, I play those things over and over again in my head sometimes, until I feel worse. But I know I shouldn’t. It’s not your fault you can’t be perfect all the time, even though sometimes I wish you were.

You are a person that is allowed to make mistakes, and sometimes that comes in the form of a lapse in memory or a slip of the tongue. I know you try to do what you think is right, and you have grown as a person and will continue to do so. It’s not fair for me to judge you so harshly, because I don’t judge anyone I love so harshly, and I, of all people, should have some love for you.

Love, Yourself

Picture Credit: Daniel Dan

The World

justthatonegirllLeave a comment

The world is just actually so beautiful. The colors flood through the ocean, the mountains, to the empty plains. The blossoming flowers, bloom over the mountaintops. The sun rising turns the sky a flume of pinks purples and oranges. The admirable ocean blue hues. The twinkle of the waves as they break along the shoreline. At night the stars light up the sky creating a pattern and light shining down on the quiet night. The sun shining at the perfect angle to light up the perfectly imperfect flower. The wind blowing the grass of the field where the horses run. While the rain pours it pounds down on the wet cement the clouds create a gray glare along the wet world. The pollution us humans bring are destroying the beauty of the quiet earth we love.

PC:Me

Gratitude and Gore

poofypuffyLeave a comment

Recently I’ve been realizing how much I have. I have everything. Right now, I feel like whatever I want to do with my life I have the means to do it. If I want to become an engineer, I can go to school for engineering. If I want to become a doctor, I can go to school and pursue a degree in that, not that I want to because med school sounds too intense and expensive for me. Also, I get really queasy. One time, this facial reconstruction surgeon showed me a bunch of before and after pictures from procedures and they were really disgusting and I passed out. In my defense, he was showing some pretty gross stuff- people with deconstructed eyeballs, two little girls who had their faces mauled by pit bulls, a girl who had a tumor in her head that made her eye stick out of her head, a man that got his scalp pulled off by a machine, a video where he pulled a nail out of a man’s face, etc. That’s a bit of a tangent but I meant that I have the privilege of being able to choose my occupation, my education, etc. I’ll obviously be in debt after college (unless I get a full ride) but I still have the privilege of going to college when so many people don’t even have the luxury of literacy. Wherever I want to go, I feel like I have the means to do it and I kind of feel guilty about how much freedom I have, because I didn’t do anything to deserve any of it. So many suffer so much and work so much harder than I do and never get the opportunities that I get, which feels so wrong. Therefore, my goal is to pay forward everything I’ve been given. 

Picture Credit: Tom Barret

Sewing

justthatonegirllLeave a comment

This is just going to be a general blog post. Okay, so basically, I started sewing when I was 6 years old. I lived with my grandparents and would switch houses during the week. Sunday-Wednesday morning with my Nana and Wednesday night to Sunday morning with my Grandma and Grandpa. During my time with my Nana I she taught me how to sew. We would have our weekly sewing lesson, which I always looked forward to. If we didn’t finish our lesson that day it would continue to the next. And we did this for as long as I can remember. Till I grew up. I got busy. Recently I have been pretty into some art things. And I want to pick up sewing again. So I texted my Nana and she got me a new sewing machine. I am so excited to start back up on this once loved hobby. I would make my dolls clothes. I would make Christmas presents for the people I loved. Since I have been excited to pick this back up I have just been looking all over Pinterest and I have so many things I want to make. I am so excited I think this is going to be so fun. Not only can I do this for my own well-being but if I get good, this can be a good thing to put in my college portfolios. Anyway I am just so excited to make cute stuff.

PC: Me

To be honest,

urmom8beanLeave a comment

To be honest, I don’t think I’m very exceptional, and I wish people knew that. I know I’m not the best and I admit that constantly. So why do people feel the need to bring me down? I wish they knew how much I overthink and how much I know I suck. They don’t and will continue to say stuff behind my back.

To be honest, I think about it a lot. I really do care about what people say.

I hate it.

Why do I care so much? I wish I could just block them out, but I can’t. I always kind of hope they will change and care about my feelings. Anyway back to what I was saying, I am pretty mediocre at things. I really do consider myself a jack of all trades and a master of none. I can do most things, but I’ve never been good at anything. I love playing sports but then again I’m not good at any. There are so many people who are so much better than me at the things I’m “good” at.

My friends are probably my favorite people in the world. I love Liz and Karin. No matter how much I don’t think I’m good or how terrible I believe I have done they always make me feel better. They always cheer for me, and always hype me up. I want you both to know how much I appreciate you. You are the hotel California guitar riff, 2:34 in Pink + White by Frank Ocean, and every beautiful part in every beautiful song. I love you Hahny and Lizzy Pooh. Just a little appreciation to them.

It sucks when I do bad in anything, but especially sports. People have this preconceived idea that just because people are okay at a sport they automatically have a huge ego about it. That’s not always true, just because people say I’m good doesn’t mean I believe that.

Just so you all know I think I suck.

So when I do make a mistake (which is pretty often) they think it’s warranted to make comments on it. There’s a difference between complimenting someone and complementing someone to tear the other person down. Yes, they did a good job but repeating it over and over is no longer a compliment. It’s actually not that hard to do better than me, I’m not good. Please stop tearing other people down.

I hate it because I begin to hate the things I love. So if you take anything out of this let it be one thing. I know I’m not good you don’t have to keep hinting at it. Stop trying to push me off a pedestal you put me on. I’m trying my best.

To be honest, I’m scared to post this but I need something to post so here it goes.

Building the nest: Women's basketball wins opening game
PC:https://stanforddaily.com/2022/11/08/building-the-nest-womens-basketball-wins-opening-game/

Music

kittenqueen3Leave a comment

I used to hate listening to music while doing homework because I swore I could never focus with music playing. Over the summer, I was traveling a lot, and all I did was listen to music. I almost always had an Airpod in, which made my trip so much better. My family is very loud and chaotic especially when traveling. I often get travel anxiety as I always feel like I forgot something and worry about being on time as my mom is notoriously late. Music became my escape whenever my family would get too loud or I would feel overwhelmed. I would put on my noise-canceling headphones and turn on some music. I often make a new playlist as I get bored and my music taste constantly evolves. I’ve been listening to a lot of Drake, Taylor Swift, Frank Ocean, SZA, Travis Scott, Alex G, Future, Cigarettes After Sex, and Olivia Rodrigo. My music taste isn’t very original but I enjoy it and stay tuned for a blog on my Spotify wrapped.

“Headphones Music” by JESHOOTS.com/ CC0 1.0

chem is not for me

kittenqueen3Leave a comment

I’ve always struggled with science but chemistry is extremely humbling. Last year I did really well in biology getting a 96% on my final and having a 93 in the class. I was very confident going into chemistry but I have yet to succeed in anything so far. I have failed every test or quiz and struggled badly every night on the homework. I have taken time to watch videos explaining the topics but I still need help understanding. Chemistry is a notoriously hard class and I believe I could do it but I truly can’t. I have a test on Monday and I plan on spending my weekend studying although I am certain that I am going to fail. Today I have a review session during class and we are taking a practice test I have a feeling I’m going to fail that as well. I hope this test goes well.