Tag: growingup

In Between

riceandsoysauce4Leave a comment

I think growing up is less of a big moment and more of a bunch of small realizations that keep stacking up.

Lately, it’s been hitting me that I’m actually leaving for college soon. Not in a “new chapter!!!” kind of way, just in a quiet, slightly unreal way. Like I’ll be doing something normal and then remember, oh… this isn’t going to be my everyday life for much longer.

It’s strange because nothing around me has really changed yet, but I feel different in it. Like I’m already a little bit detached from things that used to feel permanent.

And at the same time, I don’t feel fully ready for whatever’s next either. I don’t have everything figured out, I don’t suddenly feel like an adult, and I definitely don’t have some clear version of who I’m going to be when I get there.

I think that’s the part no one really says out loud. You don’t magically become ready just because it’s time to move on.

It’s more like you’re in between versions of your life, and you kind of have to step into the next one before you feel prepared for it.

So yeah, I guess this is what it feels like. Not super dramatic, not super clear. Just slowly realizing things are ending while something else is about to start, and being somewhere in the middle of that.

PC: Google

Drivers ED… Yeesh

Halos_击Leave a comment

Just yesterday, I decided to start drivers ED. The reason why is that every day after school, instead of waiting for the bus to come at 5:20 after school to get home at 6:00 (🫩), my friend Zooey would drop me off at the lower campus. Feeling bad, I brought it up with my parents to start drivers ED.

Of course, I have to jump through hoops just to convince them. “You can only stay in the Ojai area and Oak View!” No Ventura..? Where everything is?

Sparing arguing, I sucked it up and listened to what my boundaries are and how I can’t drive Creek Road (That’s.. one of the roads you need to go on to get to my house..), and my dad let me buy Coastline Drivers ED.

Well, better learn to drive now before I go off to college (hopefully out of state) because who’s gonna entertain my brother during breaks when I come back? He won’t be of driving age. It’s okay, I’ll drive him to the places that my parents won’t drive to.

P.C. – Google “person driving”.

Experiencing Girlhood

elephantlover2035Leave a comment

Girlhood is so pure. It is the feeling of sitting in silence on your floor going through your camera picking what photos to post on Pinterest. It is the feeling of turning off auto-capitalization on your phone. Girlhood is beautiful. It is doing everything on the floor- homework, getting ready, even eating- rather than sitting on a chair. Somehow, the floor is more inviting. Girlhood is dying your hair blue with the help of all the friends you made in college, and it turns out terrible, but it was not really about the end product at all, just the experience. Girlhood is borrowing clothes and switching outfits with each other when one outfit feels better for that person’s vibe. It is friendships that consist of talking all night long or watching Gilmore Girls until someone ends up falling asleep. It is a universal experience that women of all ages experience. Nothing beats the feeling of tanning all day at the beach and then getting a nice cold treat after. Or the feeling of becoming friends with someone because they complimented your outfit. Girlhood is simple, but yet impactful. The debriefs, the coffee chats, and even the 3-5 pm naps, it is all part of girlhood. It is using the restroom together at a party and holding their hair back when they throw up. It is supporting them through everything and working together to write texts that will either damage you forever or get you to fall in love with them. It is painting your fingers dark cherry red and taking pictures of the sunset. Girlhood is getting a beverage at a cafe and always taking candid pictures of your friends. It is uploading photos from your digital camera at the end of the day and sending them to everyone, waiting excitedly to see their reaction. Girlhood is messy, it is painful, and it is colorful.

IMG_5087
pc: me