Tag: independence

so upsetting → so exciting

poofypuffyLeave a comment

I just realized college is just four more years of school. 

Yes, logically I knew that. There are a lot of things that I think you can understand logically, but emotionally it doesn’t hit you for a while. 

I kept romanticizing college and finishing high school in my head- going somewhere new (a big city!!), meeting new people, living closer to people I know, participating in cool programs at my college… 

But I was just filling in some important dates on my calendar, and when I wrote “First Day of Class” I realized that at the heart of all the shiny new things is the reality that college is still school. I am going to go to wake up and go to class where I will sit and listen to a teacher talk. I will do homework and study and take tests. 

But actually writing this I am changing my mind. Yes, it will be school. But it will also be learning more independently. I can shape my class schedule to my personal schedule and not vice versa. I will be living on my own(ish) and taking classes that interest me (and some that are less interesting). Actually, thinking about that I am really excited. Right now I really do like CompSci and I am excited to take classes on that. Living more independently is very exciting to me.

Picture Credit: Tanner Boriack

Growing Up

mycountrythoughtsLeave a comment

Photo Credit: Pinterest.com

It’s something we all do, but it seems as though no one talks about it.  There’s no step-by-step books, no instructions. Nothing to guide you, nobody that tells you exactly what to do. Yet, everyone acts like they know everything.

No one admits that they mess up, that they don’t know what to do or that they are grasping at straws like the rest of us.  It’s scary to admit I don’t know what I am doing because I feel as though I’ll be standing alone.

I’m scared that in August I will be living on my own.  I’m scared of being on the other side of the country from my mom.  I’m scared of having to figure most things out on my own.

I’m also so excited to start my life.  I’m excited to be in control of what I do.  Most of all, I am excited to show the world who I am and see where it takes me.