Tag: isolation

a diary from isolation

djrendezvous3Leave a comment 
White pillowy clouds and pink petals on the warm brick as the sun beats down is her back drop,
As she rattles on about the corrupt world filled with 
a dark persistence.

/ / /

Its been seventeen days, four-hundred and eight hours in this house and its been miserable.

The anger, the loneliness, and the disconnect are empty feelings that course through my veins on a loop as I try to navigate life.

I miss them. I miss their laughter and smiles. I miss their clothes. I miss their smell.

My tears burned my cheeks at 11pm. It was the first time I cried. It was the first time I felt completely unsafe and scared.

My body aches for human contact.

photo credit: pinterest.com

/ / /

As a daughter, I go through moments of my life where I don’t see eye to eye with my mother. And I thinks that’s true for most mother-daughter relationships.

The passive comments, the snarky looks, the aggressive sighs; They never fail me when I’m in the middle of a petty argument with her.

I find myself picking on her, never giving her a break, and trying to erase her imperfections like the comfort she finds in rubbing my ears or clenching her jaw when she is stressed.

But earlier today, I found myself rubbing my own ears and snuggling into her neck when I felt alone. I find myself having her mannerisms and saying the things that when she says them, it irritates me. We come from the same branch at the end of the day. 

Her and I, 
We come from the same branch at the end of the day.

/ / / 

I was staring at my wall today, full of photos from the past four years. 
The color from Utah, 
The smiles from my girls who know me best,
To the heat of a concert and 
The breeze from the beach. 
I felt warm inside looking at the 
Blue and Orange hues
Only to realize the cold reality.

Isolation

displacedlocalLeave a comment

Isolation is a theme that I address in a lot of my short stories and poems. I think the way a person deals with the feeling that they are separated from the rest of society creates a unique look into a person’s mind. It creates a more real perspective.


Isolation is an interesting concept in the age where we have people living for months at a time in space. Six people can live thousands of miles away from their home on the planet, but survive for months.

Space and the deep sea create interesting locations for stories, and the exploration poses serious questions about the sanity of the human mind.

Sigh of Relief

yrreskrapLeave a comment

If there is one thing that I can tell you about colleges, it is this:

BE ABSOLUTELY SURE BEFORE YOU SEND OUT ANY EARLY DECISION APPLICATIONS.

This was my problem. I thought that I was absolutely sure when I applied to a binding agreement to Williams College and Amherst College. However, after I submitted my applications on September 30th, I visited Massachusetts and toured the campus of Williams. That was when post-application remorse began to settle.

The four hour bus ride from Boston to Williamstown scared me. My fear was being isolated for my college years and reliving my boarding school life not being to leave campus when I wanted to.

As the notification deadline drew closer, I grew more anxious, my confidence wavering in the two schools I applied early for. Soon, I was hoping I’d be rejected.

And here I am. My first two college notifications were rejections, but they were the greatest rejections I have received as funny as that sounds.

What I realized after being rejected was that more than the isolation, I feared the binding agreement the most. I wanted to be able to have a choice and sort through my different options instead of being bound to a single school. I wanted options.

My experience brings me to another point. College tours. Do them.

Even if it is an unofficial tour where you are walking without a guide or fellow student, I cannot stress how important it is that one grasps the vibe of the school you might potentially attend. More than the name of the school or the prestige, it is ultimately your happiness that will bring you success and a great college experience.

So, apply to many and choose. Don’t limit yourself to one school unless you are absolutely true.