On Thursday, February 10^th, 2011, Justin Bieber as the world knew him died. He shaved his head… or so we thought. Bieber, teen pop sensation and major promoter of having incredible hair, went on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” and staged a segment in which host Jimmy Kimmel shaves the young singers head.

When I first heard the news, I have to admit, my heart was broken. “Why would he do it?” was all I could say. “Beiber’s hair is of the gods.” Then it struck me that I should at least look up a picture of his new hairstyle, or lack of one.

This is where I found out the truth. While Bieber did get a slight hair trim, his hair remains present. Again, I was heartbroken. “This means I still can’t claim to be better looking than him.” I moped for a bit, and then, again, decided to look up a picture of his new “trimmed” hair.

I wasn’t heartbroken. I was furious. It looked really good. I sat in front of my computer for a second longer, and then said to myself, “Well, at least he’s still Justin Bieber.” (i.e. a tool)

Even this thought, however, was only reassuring for a fraction of a minute. The sense of security rushed away when I realized that if I had the chance, I’d trade places with the Biebs. Well, maybe not that far, but I’d at least kick it with him.

Either way, I was ashamed of myself for even getting into this whole ordeal. In a matter of minutes, my manhood was destroyed, my looks were questioned, and all off it was done by my very own actions.

I’ve dug myself a hole that I don’t think I’ll be able to easily escape, but I don’t have the focus to write an alternative post to this one, so for now, I have to say, I’ve come down with Bieber fever, and it can only get more intense from here.