Tag: life

Miami

baka228Leave a comment

Miami was a surprise to me. It’s a city I hadn’t thought much about before, but it amazed me. I didn’t expect to see such clean and pleasant streets and city atmosphere. For some reason, I always thought of Miami as some kind of village or something similar. However, the city turned out to be very pleasant to me. Being there reminded me of the years when I lived in Cyprus. I think all resort cities have such a serene flair. I really liked the beach near which we stayed. The sand was clean, and the water had warmed up to a state where I could swim in it. The only thing that disappointed me was the condition of my skin in Miami. Usually, when I’m at home, I have a diet routine and all the skin care products. While traveling, I just ate everything, as if the rules set by my dermatologist didn’t exist at all. I ate sweets and fatty foods, drank sodas and juices which make my skin break out lol. Now, I need to quickly restore my skin, eating rhythm, and workouts. I wish myself luck.

pc: me

I am changing

baka228Leave a comment

I am changing and cannot understand the nature of my changes. At the beginning of the year, something happened to my consciousness, and I began to make decisions that I would have never made before. I gave up all my bad habits, which was not easy, but I managed to do it and continued to work on myself. I took up sports and started going to the pool again. But not only did my physical habits change, my consciousness began to undergo a kind of transformation.

I started to question again how I feel about myself in society and in my body. I realized that for a long time, I’ve been hiding a large part of my personality because it doesn’t fit into the society in which I currently find myself. I tried to assimilate and be part of society, but it just never worked for me. I am chasing something that doesn’t belong to me and just wasting energy on it. I shouldn’t chase; I should attract the people and events that I deserve.

Also, I once again questioned what I would like to do in the future. It’s a difficult question, but now I have something like a life plan for the next year. This pleases me, and my plans look intense, but I understand that it will not only be fun, I will have to work very hard again to achieve what I want. But I’m not afraid of hard work, so I’m ready to do everything I can to achieve my goals.

Also, I’m worried about my appearance. Living in California, I started dressing in hoodies and sports pants. This style doesn’t suit me, and I feel lazy and unattractive. Also, I stopped doing facial massages and taking care of my hair sufficiently for it to look the way I want. In short, I started taking care of my appearance again, I see the first results, and it cannot but please me.

In general, unexpectedly for myself, I am undergoing a kind of transformation, and everything is moving in a good direction.

pc: https://i.pinimg.com/736x/bb/f9/4d/bbf94d790c3e31177c4d9e1830891cd7.jpg

NYC, Fifth Avenue, Sunday 2:00 PM

baka228Leave a comment

I have been to many Broadway musicals, but until today, I had never seen Moulin Rouge. To be honest, I can confidently say that this performance is one of the most vivid memories of my life.

The softly dimming lights turned into complete darkness. When the lights go out in the auditorium, the audience’s hearts usually flutter in anticipation of the show. People in the audience cough or open their snacks. This time, there was a crushing silence in the room. The moment the lights went out, the world froze, and the dense walls of the theater cut off the audience from the ceaselessly noisy NYC, immersing them into a new world—a world of love, secret meetings, power struggles, and unrestrained and non-stop performance.

People have always strived to feel alive. In ancient times, in pursuit of this feeling, thrill-seekers resorted to death fights. Some found it thrilling to watch others die, for watching someone else’s death makes the observer’s blood run faster, adrenaline intoxicates, and sharpens the sense of life in vivid colors. A prime example of humanity’s love for bloody entertainment is the mega-popular gladiator fights. Both commoners and the elite always sought out such spectacles.

Like many, I chase the feeling of pure consciousness and the sharpness and reality of life. In search of this feeling, many resort to drugs, clubs, etc. These are destructive methods of experiencing the sensation of life, yet they work just as well as gladiator fights did.

I found myself in a feeling of absolute reality during the performance. Intense emotions, from tears to laughter, made me feel alive. I had not felt this sensation for a long time, and I was glad to experience it again.

pc: me

Usually i try to write

baka228Leave a comment

Usually, I try to write about something worthwhile, about my thoughts, feelings, or events that happened to me, and which would be interesting to share. But today is not that day; today, I want to talk about all sorts of nonsense that has been on my mind lately.

47 days. After precise calculations, I realized that I have exactly 47 days left to go to school. It seems like this number should be much larger, but definitely not in my case. I am the most vivid case of senioritis you can find on planet Earth. Immediately after receiving the acceptance letter from the university I wanted, unexpectedly even to myself, I just stopped worrying about what happens at school. I am absolutely calm about not doing homework, and it doesn’t bother me much. I won’t lie, I never really liked the process of studying in an American school, and the only reason why I truly strived and learned subjects was my admission to the university; now that the goal is achieved, the motivation is completely gone. In my case, trying to find opportunities to reduce my days spent in school buildings, I discovered that some camps take away as much as 5 days! I signed up for many, which significantly reduced my time spent at school this semester. I am glad that I have very little time left until the end of school. I won’t lie, I will be the happiest person on graduation day, during the ceremony I will definitely be crying, but not out of sadness but from overwhelming happiness.

The second thing I wanted to talk about is my sleep. Lately, I’ve been having terrible problems with sleep. I wake up every hour at night, and if I’m unlucky enough to start thinking about something that bothers me, then I can’t sleep for a couple of hours simply because I can’t stop thinking. It bothers me, but I can’t do anything about it.

PC: me

One Step Closer to Freedom pt 2

kittenqueen3Leave a comment

I checked the mail every day for my paper and finally on Saturday after getting Starbucks I biked home and like usual I checked the mail and there was a letter addressed to me. At first, I was confused but after reading who the sender was my body was filled with a sense of excitement and anxiousness and sentiment. As excited as I was it also felt sentimental in a way. I love driving with my parents, honestly, I probably talk to them more during drives than at home. That’s something I can get over but the anxiety I had about passing my test and having a good photo. I hate my passport photo and I wanted to have a good driver’s license photo. I took over 20 practice tests and as I was falling asleep on Sunday night all I could think about was my permit test. I woke up and got ready for school and the only thing I was thinking about was the test. I was so focused on the test that I forgot to study for my math test and definitely failed it. Back to the exciting stuff I headed down to the DMV and got registered. I had to take a vision test and I passed, feeling confident it was now time to take my photo and this is where things begin to go downhill. My photo genuinely looks like I am being held at gunpoint. I shook that off knowing I could retake it when I got my license and headed over to the testing area. As I pressed start my heart began to race. At first, I thought you could see your errors at the end but then I got one wrong and I realized I was doing pretty good. I was 25 for 26 I finished my test pretty quickly and only had 3 mistakes as soon as the words “congratulations you passed head over to the window” appeared on the screen I was filled with joy. I finished up the paper and headed over to Starbucks. My mom let me drive to pick up my brother from school and then drive home. Although I have countless missing homework assignments that was the first time in weeks that I felt productive. This brings me one step closer to my license.

pc:me

One step closer to freedom

kittenqueen3Leave a comment

For the past few months, I have been doing my driver’s ed and I finally finished last Monday. To take your permit test you need a physical paper that states you have completed your online driver’s ed. This slip takes 2 days to 2 weeks to arrive and I needed my paper to come before March 4 because that’s when I was planning on taking my test. I’ve always dreamed of having my license and being able to drive anywhere I want to. As lovely as Ojai may seem I’ve lived here my whole life and well there’s not much to do. The freedom of having a license has always been something I have been excited about and getting my permit was moving me one step closer. I have many friends in Ventura and often go. there to hang out with them so being able to drive would make hanging out so much easier. Anyways today is Friday and I still don’t have my. paper but I’m still studying hoping it will come tomorrow or Monday.

pc:”Bmw Car” by Maxwell Davis/ CC0 1.0

Pet Peeves Part 2

godgoldngloryLeave a comment

We are back with Part 2 of my top pet peeves. First off are people who have clearly never worked in the customer service industry. I get having a bad day and being less cooperative than normal and all of that, but some people clearly have had everything done for them their entire lives and treat those who are working for their benefit like dog poop. Secondly, I literally hate minions so much. Their stupid faces and their stupid noises, please stop. I hate every single thing about them, so we don’t need to dwell on this one. Next, it’s so annoying when your nose is so stuffed you can’t breathe without your mouth open. I am not a mouth breather usually, so when I am forced to be because not a single air molecule can pass through my nostrils, it is quite upsetting. Next, I have people who interrupt other people constantly and have zero awareness. There is a difference between interrupting people and doing it without any surrounding awareness. That’s all I need to say there. Elaborating a little on what I was saying earlier about small dogs, and I know they’re not particularly super small, but I can’t stand Shiba Inu dogs. I get that they’re all cute and kawaii and nice, but their faces kinda annoy me. Lastly, rounding out the series, are people who try way too hard when singing in the car. If you’re with a group of people, especially friends like on a drive somewhere and you are playing music, you don’t have to prove yourself or anything like please. This is not American Idol. So please, keep your tone-deaf screaming out of the car and never let it touch my ears again. This one was a bit longer than the last one, but as you can tell, I am very passionate about some of these things. I would be happy to oblige any requests for a Part 3. I’m sure I can find more content to make one.

Dave the Minion Minions Animated film Tim the Minion Universal s, the minions, illumination, despicable Me, universal Pictures png | PNGWing

PC: https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQg3tvKO-rxmp4aoEZcjZiLMeCwOqnPH6Mj8g&usqp=CAU

Do grades matter

progstenLeave a comment

This is a question that I ask myself almost daily. Personally, I have been in an environment for most of my life that deems grades to be an important and necessary part of my life. I want to be successful in my life and future career. So, I have mostly believed that no matter what, as long as I get good grades, I will be fine in whatever is thrown at me in my life. However, I have never been able to get “good grades” from the school I go to standards. So, for a while, I believed that I was going to struggle in my life once I got to college and once I got into the “real world,” but I have started to change my views over these past few years. Is the reason I have started changing my views due to the fact that my grades never got up to what I see as good? There’s a chance of that, but mainly, it is because whenever I focus on school and grades, I see a trend in my overall life going in a downward trajectory, which is not the way you want it to go. I did some light research ( a Google search) and found that only half the people who get degrees were able to secure a full-time job in the field they studied, and 16 percent were unable to secure a job. The rest are all into somewhere in between either getting a part-time or switching fields fully cause they couldn’t find a job. So, back to the original question on hand: do grades matter? Well, I am going to say It depends. I know that this is the easy way out when it comes to the answer, but it all really depends on what you want to do. If I were to ask a doctor or someone aspiring to be one from their perspective, I’m sure grades impacted a large part of their life because it allowed them to pressure their passion, but if I were to ask this same question to someone who plans to do a trade, start their own business, become a pro athlete, or a job that doesn’t a full degree, then they might answer differently. Ultimately, this is about whoever is reading this perspective, and in my case, I’m the one reading, so I personally don’t believe in grades as I think it’s more important to enjoy life, and if the pursuit of grades is taken away from that, don’t pressure them.

I’ve been doing okay.

urmom8beanLeave a comment

Honestly, I have been, or I’d like to believe I have. I think I have. At this point, I’m not sure who I’m trying to convince.

I feel like I have a lot on my plate a lot coming up, but I know I just have to take care of them one by one. Senior pages, scholarships, final auditions, songs a lot of cultural events. Most of those things I’ve put on myself but I don’t know I guess I’m just trying to prove something. Like I want to leave my mark, and hopefully be remembered. The best way to put this is a quote from one of my favorite movies.

“I think I have this thing where I need everybody to think I’m the greatest, the quote-unquote Fantastic Mr. Fox. And if people aren’t knocked out and dazzled and slightly intimidated by me, I don’t feel good about myself.” – Fantastic Mr. Fox by Wes Anderson.

Of course, I don’t need people to be knocked out, dazzled, or intimidated but I at least want to be memorable. Anyways I’ve been doing better in track. I ran pie without walking, and although my legs are in so much pain it feels good to work hard.

I’ve been standing up for myself more, even if it scares me. Ive been building boundaries and I’ve defended myself more. I’m learning to not take everything to heart because its a waste of time. Its harder with closer friends, and while on your period.

School is coming to an end, and summer is looking to be very fun. College desicisons are almost here, but its all coming at the same time which is a little nerve racking. I just hope I make it, I just want to graduate.

All this to say, even with troubles and bad parts i’ve been doing okay.

the curious room / bongjoonsho: Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009) dir. Wes...
PC:https://blackhyena.tumblr.com/post/642571185378459648/bongjoonsho-fantastic-mr-fox-2009-dir-wes

p.s. The pic looks sad but its the scene with the quote also its very pretty 🙂

Pet Peeves Part 1

godgoldngloryLeave a comment

Today, I’m going to talk about some of my pet peeves. First off, I think the thing that upsets me the most is slow walkers, ESPECIALLY when I cannot get around them. Kinda going along with that are people who scuff their feet on the ground. Like please just pick up your feet it’s not that hard to walk like a normal person and not make my ears bleed every time you unnecessarily scrape your soles on the floor. Next, I absolutely hate burning my tongue on hot drinks. My tongue does not have a high heat capacity, so this happens more than it should probably. I might be a little bit hypocritical for the next one, but people who make such annoying pet voices really upset me. Most times it’s ok, but people just have very specifically horrible ones that also put my ears in pain. Next, when you are making a smoothie and it doesn’t blend seamlessly and it takes way too much effort and stirring and adding of liquids to get it all blended up. Like it doesn’t have to be that hard, please just work the first time. This list is getting a little long, and I can definitely make a part 2 for next week, so I will end here today with small dogs. Don’t get me wrong, I have met some very nice small dogs before who were angels, but the vast majority of small dogs are vicious demons who only have an aptitude for giving me scars and trauma. Big dogs are far superior.

Cartoon Illustration Man Burning Mouth After Stock Vector (Royalty Free) 208278289 | Shutterstock

PC: https://www.shutterstock.com/shutterstock/photos/208278289/display_1500/stock-vector-cartoon-illustration-of-man-with-burning-mouth-after-eating-spicy-food-or-really-angry-208278289.jpg