Tag: life

The Duality of Being Sick

StrawberryMushroomLeave a comment

I wake up to the stinging sensation in my throat every time I swallow. Getting out of my bed seems so taxing. Even when I eventually manage to get myself up, my head feels as though it has grown twice as heavy overnight.

In my case, it is evident what caused my sickness: I spent the week stressed due to excessive amounts of homework and SAT studying, I had consumed unhealthy foods and drinks, and both the overworking and sugar consumption contributed to insufficient amounts of sleep.

No one likes feeling drained or hurt every time they take a step or swallow. And yet, I doubt that every day we are healthy, we think to ourselves, “I’m glad I am healthy today,” or “I’m glad my throat isn’t hurting.”

Our bodies are an entity of their own, systematically designed to communicate their needs to us. On the surface, it is telling me today that I haven’t been taking care of my body, exhausting it to its limit with poor nutrition and inadequate rest. But furthermore, it serves as a reminder to appreciate every day I wake up feeling healthy.

Person blowing nose, surrounded by medicines and home remedies

Picture Credit: Google

Halloweekend

uwucutiepatootieLeave a comment

Halloween is one of the most fun and stressful moments of life. This year it’s terrible because I have to balance out celebrating Halloween and also finishing up college work. The most difficult part of Halloween is figuring out outfits. Whenever I open TikTok or Pinterest to find inspiration, they are either over worn outfits, ugly, or too much. All the excellent ones are always worn a million times, but I also don’t want to wear something that no one would understand. Another obstacle is wanting to wear the same costume as your friend. I always tell myself that I will have my outfits planned and bought before summer ends, but this never happens. I’ve already used one of my costumes, but I have three other ones that are ready. This is genuinely shocking because usually I just figure things out really last minute, but I had to stop worrying about it and get it done, just like I need to do with college work.

“Halloween Pumpkin” by Skitter Photo/ CC0 1.0

Work

unicorn123Leave a comment

I have a love-hate relationship with my work. I love making money. But I absolutely hate dealing with customers. For example it was a busy Friday afternoon, I was doing my regular work routine. All of a sudden a old customer calls me over. Mid bite of her arugula salad she starts explaining how terrible the chicken is. She starts telling me its disgusting and dry. I apologize but she continues complaining. I Leave to get her a new side of chicken. I bring the new chicken to her and she makes me wait so that she can try it to see if it’s up to her standard. She tells me it’s terrible dry and not edible. I apologize again and explain we roast our chicken early in the morning and warm it up to be served so it must be a dry chicken or something. All of a sudden she screams at me and explains how terrible of a waitress I am and instead of explaining why its dry I should go give the kitchen the feedback. I assure her that I will and we will fix the problems. Apparently that’s not good enough so she continues to tell me how her family used to be in the restaurant buisness and so she knows everything. She tells me she’s never coming back. When I walked away me and my favorite coworker talked about how we would rather have customers never come back or just dont come in the first place rather than yell at us. My paycheck doesn’t get affected if we have one less customer comes it doesnt even change if 10 customers dont come back. I am sick of working.

Credits: Google

Investing in Happiness

StrawberryMushroomLeave a comment

It is often stated that we should capitalize on our childhood and adolescent days, cherishing our time young before the responsibilities of adulthood. But while the future is always uncertain, it is also strongly emphasized that our choices, habits, and achievements during our growth, particularly during high school, heavily dictate the course of our careers and future well-being.

It feels as though the happiest people among my generation are those who care less and thus worry less. They bury themselves in constant temporary pleasures to shield themselves from unwanted responsibility and discomfort.

These people tell me I worry too much.

Then, there are people who put every waking moment to good use. They bury themselves in constant work, sacrificing momentary pleasure in favor of ensuring that their future is abundant in possibilities and is as stable as it can be.

These people tell me I’m not worried enough.

Nothing is in black and white. I can’t tell if I’m wasting my time or not making the most of my youth. I am left in a state of paralysis, unsure whether to be happier now or to invest in future happiness.

Worried about the future? The science behind coping with uncertainty | New Scientist

Picture Credit: Google

School

brownbeansLeave a comment

I know the schedule is supposed to be random, but it is not. I have all of my hard classes on day twos and my day ones are so easy. My day twos are: AP Stats, AP Lit, AP Psych, and yearbook. I love yearbook, but it is so hard having to edit all of the pictures that go in the yearbook and having to make like twenty million pages at the same time. It is essentially another class with a bit more homework, but without any tests or studying. My other classes during day two are very reading-based and have to be studied intensely. It is even harder because volleyball has at least two games every week, so I have less time to do my homework, and I’m super tired from traveling all day, making it difficult to even think about homework. I have a severe disdain for day two.

Day One, on the other hand, is the most blessed ever. My classes are Gov, Journalism, AP Computer Science Principles, and Free block! I love gov, I wish I had gov every day because it is so fun, and it is what I want to pursue in the future. I also love the teacher, and she is always willing to discuss current events with me after class. Journalism is so chill, and the class is so good. AP Comp Sci Principles is so funny. I sit with my friends and we spend all of class laughing. I think the teacher thinks we are crazy. Finally free block, I sleep, do homework, and eat snacks. It is a nice break from dealing with people and allows me to relax before going back to school. The contrast between the two days cannot be any more different; one day I look forward to, the other makes me so sad and stressed.

credit: Pinterest

Chemistry

ackley4167Leave a comment

When the school year started, I felt like I would be able to do chemistry. With my high ego, I walked into the class for the first time thinking it would be a piece of cake. I ignored how all of my older friends said how this was the hardest class they had ever taken. They all had said that they finished the semester with below a B. What I don’t understand is why we are mixing science and math, the two hardest subjects, and my two weakest. On the most recent test, it was based solely on math. I did the first page before I broke down in tears. It was almost embarrassing, having a breakdown over a chemistry test. No matter how hard I tried to understand it and answer the questions, I just couldn’t. I was like I was staring at numbers floating all over my page, asking me which one is a kilometer. How does one even study chemistry? If I don’t understand it in the first place, how will I study it? Not being able to do the test discouraged me for the rest of the day. I started to doubt myself and my knowledge, in other classes too. Until I realized that everyone struggles in some way, regardless of what class or situation.

pc – google

November 1st

Bl@ckBe@nsLeave a comment

Credit: Google

It’s getting closer every day. The more time passes, the closer it looms, like someone watching over your shoulder.  Although you can’t see them,  you can constantly feel their presence. It makes it somewhat challenging to focus on the present when the future keeps moving forward.  Once November 1st arrives, people will be applying and waiting to hear back from colleges, marking the beginning of our future.

After that happens, the floodgates will open. People will be either delighted or disappointed with their response from their colleges. It makes me think of all previous seniors, were they this stressed, yet excited?  Were some of them sure of their likelihood of getting in, only to be rejected, or were they correct? 

The more I think about it,  the thought that almost constantly remains the same is that after November 1st, what will happen to my friends? Where will they go? Will we be as close as we are now after departing?  Or will we slowly begin to fade from each other’s lives? As these thoughts sometimes consume me, it is those exact friends that pull me back in and remind me to enjoy now.

The Absence of Certainty

StrawberryMushroomLeave a comment

Most aspects of life are not permanent or guaranteed, subject to spontaneous change.

Those who were once closest to you can drift apart due to physical distance or changes in character, leaving you feeling as though a piece of you was stripped away and left hollow. Artificial intelligence is increasing in its influence at an overwhelming rate, contributing to the perception that humans are obsolete in the face of technological advancements and posing a threat to human jobs. And with the current trajectory of United States politics, international students, such as myself, never know what new policies could be established that hinder or outright restrict our ability to continue my education in this country.

If these factors are out of our control, it makes us wonder why we try. If they are within our control, it makes us doubt whether we are trying hard enough. 

Now more than ever, the very act of trying or investing time into anything can feel so daunting, with there being no peace of mind that we will be reciprocated for our efforts. But as much as I find comfort in what is familiar, I realize that change is not inherently or always an adversary.

The act of continuing despite uncertainty forces us to adapt and grow in alignment with the contiously unraveling world, serving as a testament to our resiliance. So while I can not prevent the disruption of the familiar, I refuse to let it leave me behind.

Deciding in uncertainty - Thot Cursus

Picture Credit: Google

My Week

unicorn123Leave a comment

I had an extremely boring week. I did absolutely nothing exciting or interesting. One of the things I dont hate about school is that it gives me a better routine to follow but I also hate that it gives me no time to do things I actually enjoy.

Monday: I got to wake up late because I had two free periods first so that was nice. I still woke up too late and had to rush to get ready for school. It was a very normal day at school I got through my classes and then went to work. It was a bad day at work, it wasnt busy enough to stay interested so it felt like 10 hours. I went home did homework and went to bed.

Tuesday: I woke up late yet again, I got ready for school and left just in time. School was hard because it was my busy schedule, I went to all my classes, fell asleep during lunch finished the rest of the day and went home. I washed my sheets and cleaned my room and did my homework. I tried to fall asleep early but couldnt.

Wednesday: I woke up late, what a surprise. I hurried to school, went through my day as usual, and went home. I tried to go home early because my classes ended before lunch, but I didn’t. I went home and went to my workout class. I then went home and made dinner.

It is now thursday I expect today and tomorrow to be the exact same as this whole week. I hope that this rut is over soon and I can get back to doing things I actually enjoy.

pc – google

Stress

Soccer11Leave a comment

Stress for me comes from many things in my life. The main things are school, cross country, soccer, student council, and work. I don’t have a lot of time for homework since I have so much to do all week. On Mondays, I go to school, and then I go home for an hour and get ready to leave for soccer, and then when I go to soccer, I usually get home around 7-ish. On Tuesdays, I go to school, then cross country, and then I go home for an hour and go straight to work, and then I get home at 9:50, and I don’t have time to do a lot of my homework because I get so tired. Then on Wednesday, I have the same schedule as Monday, and then Thursday I have a very similar schedule to Tuesday, but I don’t always have work, and then on Friday I have the same schedule as Tuesday, but I don’t always have cross country, and sometimes I have soccer stuff. 


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