Tag: life

This Week

Bl@ckBe@nsLeave a comment

Credit: Google

I think this week has been the worst week of my senior year so far.

Monday was fine; nothing really happened, it was a basic day. I went to my classes, went to sports, and hated that the weekend was so short and that I’m back at school. The homework was acceptably light, which made it better.

On Tuesday, I got up and got ready for the day. Unsurprisingly, an epidemic of sickness is currently occurring within the dorms. Everybody is either sick or getting sick, and not long, I know I’m going to be the next victim. But anyways, I didn’t have to go to all my classes since I had a volleyball gam.

Unfortunately, the volleyball game was in LA. We had to drive about two hours to get to the location, which was kind of annoying. We ended up getting there about thirty minutes early, which was kind of boring. Anyways, the. The team did really well. Although we lost pretty badly in the first and third sets, the second set was by far. The best set we’ve ever played, falling not far behind the rival team, losing only 22-25. I’m very proud of the team.

Wednesday is where it gets wobbly, not horrendous, but also not amazing. Honestly, I can remember most of it. Wait, yes, I do, it was actually pretty good because there was a town trip, which meant no sports. I actually did some work and got to relax. I did tutoring, which was easy because nobody showed up for English and History. I was really tired and was not able to focus on the task I was doing, so I watched a quick YouTube video. It kind of helped, but not really. I still felt really tired. After tutoring I went staright to bed.

Thursday was the worst. I woke up happy, because I was going to start my day with a free block, only to get it ruined by the notification” room check today.” It genuinely dampened my mood because, why out of all the days, is there a room check when I have my free block first? Anyway, I spent my free block in the bathroom because a teacher was checking the rooms ( turned out we could stay in the room while they did a room check). From there, my day spiraled. and progressively got worse.

Finally, Friday the one of the best days of the week. It is the final stretch of the week before the weekend. All my teachers didn’t assign weekend homework, which. I’m grateful for. So now I feel I can relax and fill out some more of my college requirements. Sadly, I know that once I shut my eyes, it will be Monday all over again.

I Am Music

ackley4167Leave a comment

Music puts me in a flow state, revives my soul in times of distress, music embodies one’s self. Whenever I listen to music, it puts me in a trance. Especially if I find a song that I love so much and I listen to for 100 times on repeat. When I listen to a sad song, I’m sad, even if it’s for no reason. When I listen to happy music, I’m happy. It’s like music can control my feelings. I have no idea how music has the ability to give me literal goosebumps; it just does. I’ve never really understood the people that don’t constantly listen to music. In the shower, doing chores, lying down, there is always music. When I’m in an argument with a friend or family member, good music makes the situation better. It’s like the tension is released. The right music is like therapy, at least my therapy. It helps me tune everything out and go into my own world.

“Iphone Airpods” by Jess Watters/ CC0 1.0

Dorms

LetsGetSendyy6767Leave a comment

Living in the dorms is an entirely new experience for me. I have always enjoyed the privilege of living in the small town where I went to school, but that has all changed for me. My family moved away while I had one last year of high school to complete. I made the decision to finish high school where I started, becoming a dormer to do so.

My first week was a lot of adjusting. Living on a campus in the town where I had grown up was the biggest challenge. Wanting to go out and do what I had always done before left me feeling incredibly bored.

Additionally, I felt lonely. My lifelong friends, family, and others were all gone. I still have people I enjoy talking to, but the dynamic of my life has changed completely.

I have noticed that changing my personal life to adapt to the dorms has become the best help when adjusting. I try to maintain a schedule and focus on both school work and personal growth.

While the changes are challenging, they are temporary and are a good preparation for college and life beyond high school.

Residential Housing | Carolina University

P.C. Google

Routines

unicorn123Leave a comment

I am obsessed with routine. I love having a set schedule and planning everything out. Over the course of my life I have become more and more obsessed with the little details about my life. The way my bed is made, the placement of shoes on the floor and the feeling of my sheets. I am highly compulsive when it comes to my room, cleaning and taking care of myself. Therefore my routine is highly important to me. I get home from work or school and immediately shower and change into a clean comfortable outfit. I go along with the rest of my night doing homework or hanging out with friends and then I prepare myself for bed. I wash my face, brush my teeth and put on my skincare. I then make myself tea or get myself water and gently pull my blankets back so that I dont mess up how it looks. I turn on my show for the night and lay down. After about 30 minutes of that I turn on a podcast or music and fall asleep. I have realized that if I dont follow my own routine perfectly I am unable to go to sleep. I love my routines.

Life

uwucutiepatootieLeave a comment

The thought of college is the only thing giving me the will to live, but actually doing the work to go to college is doing the exact opposite. I feel like the amount of work that students need to do to go to college is obscene. We have basically dedicated the past eighteen years of our lives just to get into college. Life feels like a never-ending cycle of doing work to be rewarded with even more work and responsibilities. After I finish college then I have to find an even harder job. I feel like I’m just not really a person who wants to have to do that. I’m sure that some people like their job, but I swear that the majority of people feel like it’s a little torturous. The world wasn’t made for people to be stuck in a strict daily schedule, but to live spontaneously and be free. Jobs definitely make people grow, but they also make people close-minded, a little brainwashed. I’m excited to finish high school, but really scared of the rest of my life.

Photo by Lum3n on Pexels.com

Stress

myfatcats2Leave a comment

I’m done. This life is too stressful. I’m tired of literally everyone. I don’t want to have to explain anything to anyone. I don’t want anything to change. Why can’t I just leave it the way it is? Why does it have to become complicated? Let’s just leave it. But then you’ll start asking questions, why, how come, but why? I don’t know. You’ll have a better idea than I do, and it’s an issue that I have, so that should tell you something if you have a better understanding than I do. Part of me doesn’t even wanna do this thing anymore, but she said that change is good and I need to adjust and just go for it, but I just don’t want to. I can’t lol. This stresses me out, and I’d rather not than do. No one gets it, but whatever. That’s life, lowkey. So, yeah.

PC- Google

Bordem

myfatcats2Leave a comment

I’m so bored, there’s nothing to do in my house, no food, no activities, just my TV, cats, and dog. I’m also just lazy. I don’t want to do anything, lowkey I just want to chill, everyone’s always doing too much. Everyone in the world just needs to calm down, because it was never that deep. Back to the main point, I’m still bored, Friday night, nothing to do, just sleep or something. I don’t even know. I should go feed my animals, but my cats are so fat they don’t need any food. My dog is the one who needs food. He’s so skinny and white, not that it has anything to do with it, but just saying. He’s kind of ugly but in a cute way, but Akyra thinks he’s the ugliest thing to ever exist, which is mean. But anyway, I’m still bored. I guess I’ll watch a show, ok? Bye. 



pc – google

Rainy Day Shenanigans

thehebrewhammerLeave a comment

I woke up with my mind racing of the dream that had woke me up. Half-asleep I forced myself out of bed into my normal morning routine which consists of 1, going to my parents room to say what’s up to my dog, 2 going into my room to shower and brush my teeth and finally 3, get dressed and leave.

However, this morning was different whether it was my cold shower being not so cold this morning, or the feeling of wearing a jacket to school for the first time this year. Today was different.

That was when I looked out my window to see water droplets had covered all the windows in my room. Then it hit me, last night was rainy. But I didn’t feel down because of the weather, not me, no this cat likes the rain. I ran outside with my wet hair and shoes untied and took a big nice American whiff of that rainy air.

I smiled ear to ear, with that rainy day smell in my body I knew today would be a great day.

PC: Google

hoco makes me loco

uwucutiepatootieLeave a comment

This weekend I’m going to my friend’s homecoming, and I’m just really stressed out. I forgot that she had invited me two months ago, so I ordered my dress a week ago. It arrived yesterday, which is two days before, and I kind of hate it. I have so much work that I need to catch up on, and I feel like homecoming is just going to take over my weekend. I also have no idea what time the dance starts and ends, and I really don’t like not having plans. We are supposed to get ready with a group of girls before, and I have never met at least half of them, so that’s probably going to be awkward. Even though I’m nervous, I’m still excited because we are getting ready at our friend’s house, who is now in college, as her sister is having people over to get ready. My friends and I have already claimed to get prepared in our friend’s room, which is in college, because it would honestly be disrespectful if someone else who wasn’t us got ready in her room. I am manifesting that everything goes well tomorrow because I just see a lot of things that could go wrong.

Nostalgia

ackley4167Leave a comment

Nostalgia is by far one of the worst feelings ever, at least for me. I feel like I have nostalgia even when I’m living in the moment; it haunts me. Every time I go out or do something fun, I’m flooded with it. No matter if it’s a song, moment, or memory. I basically just unlock the vibe or the feeling I had during some time in the past. I don’t really know how to explain it. I can just feel how I felt in the moment when I think back on it. Just like smelling an old perfume or candle from a special time in your past. It makes you remember and miss everything so deeply.

I miss being little; it was such a special time in life. The nostalgia from when I was younger is the thing that truly haunts me the most, out of everything. I miss Christmas, or any holiday, and the feeling I had for them when I was younger. It’s so different now, and I’m changing so fast. I didn’t even realize that all those special times I had were gone. And I will never get to experience them again.

“Girl Sad” by Milada Vigerova/ CC0 1.0