Gobbler

I came home in the early evening to find my stomach hollow

So I put together a dirty dog and placed it in my gullet to swallow,

A hot dog topped with toppings such as cheese, chili, and corn

As I placed it in my mouth I discovered a miracle had been born,

I’m a master of creation

I have the hands of god,

I can change reality like claymation

My life up until now turned to be a facade,

I start to dig in

I’ve become a professional eater,

The food disappears fast

Like I’m accelerating in a two seater,

Seconds have passed

And I’m turning down the heat,

I ate it so fast

I was sure an eating record I had beat.

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Worst Person in Sports #3-Scott Williamson

Tom Williamson is putting his 2004 World Series ring up for auction. WHAT AN IDIOT! I don’t care how strapped for cash you are. Why would you sell a piece of sports history? That’s like Herb Brooks selling his gold medals from the 1980 Winter Olympic Hockey games. It’s just pure stupidity. Why would that even come to someone’s mind?

Was it guilt because he didn’t play a key role in the Sox’ winning the series? Only this scum knows.

If you are interested in purchasing this wondrous piece of history, here’s a picture of the stones and its ungrateful owner.
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