One of my New Year’s resolutions was to have an Academic comeback. Last semester, I procrastinated a lot, and I had moments when I was extremely stressed because I had so much work to do. For example, pretty much nightly, we get AP world history notes, but our teacher only checks them before the end of the unit, and I would always skim through them and not do my notes till right before. Because of how many i hadn’t done I would be doing the till past midnight along with my other homework. I have been doing them the night they are assigned now, and it’s been so much less stressful. My brother is a junior, and he’s getting ready to look at colleges, and the idea of college is so stressful. What classes I’m taking next year is stressful I have no idea what I want to major in and collages look at junior year so I need to pick the right classes and do well in them. I had ok grades last semester, but I feel like I could push myself to get better grades this year.
Tag: personal
Organized
I genuinely don’t think I would be able to survive school without my planner. Like, I give the greatest props to the people who don’t use one. Every night, I will write down all my homework for every class and check stuff off as I go. It’s the only way I could fully be organized and not forget to do anything. I don’t understand the people who have a mental checklist and go from there, I don’t think I could ever do that successfully and not forget to do half of my homework. I also really enjoy highlighting in my journal. Colors make everything easier to read for me. If you look at all of my notes without knowing what each color represents, it definitely gets a little confusing. I feel bad for people who are colorblind. Just in general, I mean. Dumping ink onto all of my notes and planners and stuff is just so fun. If you don’t use a bunch of colors, that’s understandable. But if you don’t use a planner or something to write down your assignments, props.
I’m scared.
I’m scared for what the future holds, for the rest of this week.
I am scared of getting rejected from college.
I’m scared of losing all my friends.
I’m scared of how the play will turn out.
I’m scared of being alone.
I’m scared she’ll lie again.
I’m scared I’ll fail.
I’m scared they won’t believe me.
I’m scared that I’ll end up in jail.
okay, the last one just rhymed and is not realistic but I am 18 so who knows. I mean I don’t plan on committing any crimes, especially after law class.
I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m scared of a lot of stuff, and I haven’t really told anyone. I guess that’s why I get anxious and ask a lot of questions. I’m not angry or jealous, I’m just scared.
This sounds really dumb, this wasn’t what I thought I’d write about but I guess I was just overthinking. She likes to remind me of how much influence she has. She likes to put me in my place. She likes to make me feel alone. She likes to seem nice. She isn’t how she presents herself, she loves to tell a lie. God how much she loves to control me. She’s already crossed the line. She’ll do it again if you watch carefully.
This little mind of mine.
(If you thought I was talking about someone. I’m not. why did you think them?)
think.
My luck
My whole life, I’ve had generally bad luck, usually losing and breaking things. I think I have lost at least 8 pairs of AirPods in the last 3 years. My old AirPods are all over I left a pair in Bali, Texas, Big Bear and I don’t even know where else. I have also lost multiple credit cards and so many pieces of clothes. Sometimes, when I’m cleaning my room, I’ll find something I didn’t even know I lost. I also have bad luck with breaking thins I’ve broken my laptop twice and broken many iPads I’ve also broken my phone to many times to remember. Last week I accidentally dropped my phone in the hot tub and the next day dropped my AirPods in the toilet. Thank god both my phone and AirPods are waterproof so they survived. I am writing this off an iPad because my computer is broken.
PC:word press media
Writers Block
I have probably spent an hour a day this whole week trying to write my blog post. And it is still late… I never realized how bad I get writer’s block until I must turn it in. I am getting writer’s block right now. I deleted everything I wrote periodically throughout the week too. So I could not even turn any of those rough drafts in. Its not that I can’t find a topic. I just don’t know how much of my life I really want to share to anyone who reads what I write. Or if I write something fictional but really depressing I don’t want anyone to think I am actually talking about myself. I have noticed that on the days I don’t feel like talking to people I can write a lot more. But on the days I talk alot I can never seem to fill the blank page staring at me blankly. I also tend to drift to separate topics while I write or repeat myself again and again. At least I can be aware of it. My life has been pretty bland lately. Well anyways there is me trying to write something while having writer’s block. I hope I have enough words.
PC:ME
Coming back to school
Coming back from Winter Break is always a struggle. Before leaving, you’re in a routine and have got everything nailed down. When you return it feels like starting everything from scratch. It’s hard to get back into school mode. This concept is what makes part of the second semester harder as a whole. Although we get more things to look forward to and more breaks, the academic part is more challenging. All of these beautiful breaks we get make the school part all the harder once the break has ended. In the first semester, despite it feeling like a never-ending marathon of school work, you find a nice rhythm in the consistency.
Additionally, what makes the back hard is having to come and live again by the school’s sleep schedule. Over the breaks, I consistently go to bed at around 3 am and don’t wake up until the afternoon the next day. Bering back at school and having to wake up at 7 am or earlier is a harsh reality check. All I want to do is sleep.
You know what’s interesting? All California high schools are required to have an 8:30 start time now. Go figures it began the year after I left. Anyways, I would much appreciate this enacted at OVS, after all, it is what Gavin Newsom wants and how can we be OK with disappointing him?
Big Bear
This break my best friend joined me and my mom on a trip to Big Bear. The trip was a mess from the start we planned it 2 days before we left. I had gotten a new snowboard and decided to put the bindings on myself which was one of my first mistakes. Mieke spent the night at my house the night before and we got food poisoning so going on such a long drive the next day with an upset stomach was definitely an experience. I had only seen a few photos of the house and was not sure what to expect. As we got their this house looked like something out of a trailer park. My mom nicknamed the house the “shameless shack” and it did live up to the name. Mieke and I explored the house to find old burnt bread on the porch. We walked through the backyard where the hot tub was supposed to be and it was a shed blocked by cinderblocks with a padlock. We went to our room and it literally smelled like feet. To turn on the heater you had take off thee panel of the heater and light a match. Luckily my mom is a d1 complainer and was not happy so we switched places. The second place was so much better and bigger. We still had a super fun time but personally I would not recommend booking.com
Working at Bliss
Working at the best ice cream shop in town is a pretty good thing most of the time. It’s all pretty easy work but there are also some stressful times while working there. but I think the pros outweigh the cons by quite a lot.
Pros: 1) Free ice cream once a day and while I’m working there I can kinda just eat as much as I want since we have tasters that are free for other people to have so it’s also free for me since I work there. 2) I’m getting probably (on a bad day) an OVS teacher’s salary in tips alone since they aren’t taxed and it’s in Ojai so people can afford to tip most of the time. Also, the normal wage that I get but the tips are more fun. 3) is that I get to meet more people and have a lot of interactions with people whom I have never met which has helped me with talking and meeting new people and I have learned to have better social interactions because of it. 4) it’s a pretty chill job I don’t have to work that hard (well some moments are rough) 5) I get to listen to music while working
Cons: 1) as I said some moments can be stressful like when a bunch of people comes in at once and something in the back breaks or a topping runs out or an old man/child drops his ice cream and stuff like that. 2) the freaking machines are the most annoying part of the job like in some ways it is easier but if it breaks then everything goes sooo wrong and it’s just very stressful. 3) when someone asks for an ice cream cone instead of just being able to scoop it like a normal place I have to make a tower that if I do it wrong it falls over and 90% of it’s at an angle that is on the verge of falling over 4) closing is pretty rough as well it takes a while to do and is hard on my back.
It’s a fun job though and I need money
People Watching
I watch the window as I sit at work. Waiting for someone to come in on this cold, wet day. Watching outside for even the shortest time, I notice so many different people. A pair of friends walk by, bags in their hands, and I wonder how long they have been friends. A langer family walks by like a flock of geese piled together to keep warm. The kids turn to peer in the windows of the shops. The lights for the holiday season make the darkness of the night brighter. I watch a cold, frail woman lug her big wagon full of everything she has, walk by without a jacket to keep her warm through the crisp winter. A man runs by frantically, looking scared, did something happen in town I think silently to myself. No, nothing happened he must have been in a rush for something I know as a couple passes happily hand in hand smiles on both faces. A little girl and her mom walk by the little girl had a toy in her hand. Admiring the toy her mom looks down admiring the girl. I sit and I wait. No one has walked by again. No one has come in my work in a while. It is probably because I work at an air-conditioned ice cream shop in this keen weather. Cars fly by the windows as I still wait for my last person to write about. Maybe it will be a young family? Maybe a large friend group? How about an old couple holding on to one another? I am unaware. I hope it isn’t one of those people who walks slowly past the window and stares in the shop not planning on walking in. It is a tall slim man. He has a headlamp on his head and is in a warm looking pile of clothes. Where is he walking to? Does he take a walk every night? Does he have a family waiting for him to start eating dinner with him? We will never know. The beauty of people watching. We won’t ever know what people are doing. Where they are going to. Why are they here? My last description because someone just walked by. A sad looking man in blue. He strolls by and it fascinates me to ponder on why this man is so sad and alone.
PC:Me
My issue with Spotify Wrapped
On November 29, I woke up and connected my phone to my speaker and noticed Spotify wrapped came out. I was excited at first, but I realized my disappointment at this same time last year. I personally believe Spotify wrapped is hacked for two reasons. First, on my top artists list, I had 21 Savage, who I never listen to unless he is featured on a Drake song. I personally listen to a lot of Zach Bryan and Lana Del Ray, and I believe they should have been there instead of 21 Savage. Secondly, I believe I listened to way more minutes because I always listen to music when doing homework, getting ready, showering, eating ,biking and often have aux in the car. The one thing I do like about Spotify Wrapped is everyone posts it and it gives sorta a insight in peoples lives. The music people listen to say a lot about them and Spotify Wrapped is a good way to learn a little about people you don’t know.
OVS Journalism Blog 
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