I checked the mail every day for my paper and finally on Saturday after getting Starbucks I biked home and like usual I checked the mail and there was a letter addressed to me. At first, I was confused but after reading who the sender was my body was filled with a sense of excitement and anxiousness and sentiment. As excited as I was it also felt sentimental in a way. I love driving with my parents, honestly, I probably talk to them more during drives than at home. That’s something I can get over but the anxiety I had about passing my test and having a good photo. I hate my passport photo and I wanted to have a good driver’s license photo. I took over 20 practice tests and as I was falling asleep on Sunday night all I could think about was my permit test. I woke up and got ready for school and the only thing I was thinking about was the test. I was so focused on the test that I forgot to study for my math test and definitely failed it. Back to the exciting stuff I headed down to the DMV and got registered. I had to take a vision test and I passed, feeling confident it was now time to take my photo and this is where things begin to go downhill. My photo genuinely looks like I am being held at gunpoint. I shook that off knowing I could retake it when I got my license and headed over to the testing area. As I pressed start my heart began to race. At first, I thought you could see your errors at the end but then I got one wrong and I realized I was doing pretty good. I was 25 for 26 I finished my test pretty quickly and only had 3 mistakes as soon as the words “congratulations you passed head over to the window” appeared on the screen I was filled with joy. I finished up the paper and headed over to Starbucks. My mom let me drive to pick up my brother from school and then drive home. Although I have countless missing homework assignments that was the first time in weeks that I felt productive. This brings me one step closer to my license.
Tag: personal
One step closer to freedom
For the past few months, I have been doing my driver’s ed and I finally finished last Monday. To take your permit test you need a physical paper that states you have completed your online driver’s ed. This slip takes 2 days to 2 weeks to arrive and I needed my paper to come before March 4 because that’s when I was planning on taking my test. I’ve always dreamed of having my license and being able to drive anywhere I want to. As lovely as Ojai may seem I’ve lived here my whole life and well there’s not much to do. The freedom of having a license has always been something I have been excited about and getting my permit was moving me one step closer. I have many friends in Ventura and often go. there to hang out with them so being able to drive would make hanging out so much easier. Anyways today is Friday and I still don’t have my. paper but I’m still studying hoping it will come tomorrow or Monday.
Pet Peeves Part 2
We are back with Part 2 of my top pet peeves. First off are people who have clearly never worked in the customer service industry. I get having a bad day and being less cooperative than normal and all of that, but some people clearly have had everything done for them their entire lives and treat those who are working for their benefit like dog poop. Secondly, I literally hate minions so much. Their stupid faces and their stupid noises, please stop. I hate every single thing about them, so we don’t need to dwell on this one. Next, it’s so annoying when your nose is so stuffed you can’t breathe without your mouth open. I am not a mouth breather usually, so when I am forced to be because not a single air molecule can pass through my nostrils, it is quite upsetting. Next, I have people who interrupt other people constantly and have zero awareness. There is a difference between interrupting people and doing it without any surrounding awareness. That’s all I need to say there. Elaborating a little on what I was saying earlier about small dogs, and I know they’re not particularly super small, but I can’t stand Shiba Inu dogs. I get that they’re all cute and kawaii and nice, but their faces kinda annoy me. Lastly, rounding out the series, are people who try way too hard when singing in the car. If you’re with a group of people, especially friends like on a drive somewhere and you are playing music, you don’t have to prove yourself or anything like please. This is not American Idol. So please, keep your tone-deaf screaming out of the car and never let it touch my ears again. This one was a bit longer than the last one, but as you can tell, I am very passionate about some of these things. I would be happy to oblige any requests for a Part 3. I’m sure I can find more content to make one.
PC: https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQg3tvKO-rxmp4aoEZcjZiLMeCwOqnPH6Mj8g&usqp=CAU
I’ve been doing okay.
Honestly, I have been, or I’d like to believe I have. I think I have. At this point, I’m not sure who I’m trying to convince.
I feel like I have a lot on my plate a lot coming up, but I know I just have to take care of them one by one. Senior pages, scholarships, final auditions, songs a lot of cultural events. Most of those things I’ve put on myself but I don’t know I guess I’m just trying to prove something. Like I want to leave my mark, and hopefully be remembered. The best way to put this is a quote from one of my favorite movies.
“I think I have this thing where I need everybody to think I’m the greatest, the quote-unquote Fantastic Mr. Fox. And if people aren’t knocked out and dazzled and slightly intimidated by me, I don’t feel good about myself.” – Fantastic Mr. Fox by Wes Anderson.
Of course, I don’t need people to be knocked out, dazzled, or intimidated but I at least want to be memorable. Anyways I’ve been doing better in track. I ran pie without walking, and although my legs are in so much pain it feels good to work hard.
I’ve been standing up for myself more, even if it scares me. Ive been building boundaries and I’ve defended myself more. I’m learning to not take everything to heart because its a waste of time. Its harder with closer friends, and while on your period.
School is coming to an end, and summer is looking to be very fun. College desicisons are almost here, but its all coming at the same time which is a little nerve racking. I just hope I make it, I just want to graduate.
All this to say, even with troubles and bad parts i’ve been doing okay.
p.s. The pic looks sad but its the scene with the quote also its very pretty 🙂
I Love The Rain
I think out of all of the different types of weather, rain is definitely in the top 3 if not number 1. I really do love powdery snow that looks almost like pillow stuffing as it floats down from the sky. That type of snow is also very light and easy to shovel compared to some of the super wet and heavy snow that makes you feel like you gained 15 pounds of muscle in your arms after just an hour of shoveling. All considered, I think I have decided that rain squeaks out as superior to all other types of weather. My reasonings include, for one, the coziness of the rain. Sitting inside, with a cup of hot something, watching movies and/or listening to music might just be one of the most peaceful experiences one can have. Additionally, if you do want to go outside, it is a very fun experience to frolic around in the rain and not care about how wet you get. If somebody has never had the opportunity to do so, I would highly recommend doing it at least once in your life. Another thing is raindrop racing. This is when two raindrops on a window race to be the first one to drop to the bottom of the window. I loved doing this as a kid, and betting on such events will always and forever be thrilling. My last point lies with the aftermath of the rain. Where I live, I am in a forest surrounded by pine trees, and the smell of pine trees freshly after it has rained is by far my favorite smell to ever exist ever. I can’t even describe it, it’s just so delicious. The one thing I will give rain haters is the fact that if you let your dog out in the rain, at least for my dog, it was a true hassle to dry him off after the fact, and the smell of wet dog is just something else entirely that doesn’t really need to be discussed. Overall, this is one of my opinions that I am very strong about for myself, but I am open to others having a differing opinion and possibly having a friendly discussion about it.
My Galentines
Over the weekend I hosted a Galentines Day. It was supposed to be in my backyard but the weather was soooooo cold. With the weather being so cold I decided to switch the party to inside. It was a smaller group with about 11 or 12 girls. I decorated the table in hues of pink and white. I put together big and small bouquets of pink and white flowers. I am pretty happy with the outcome of the party too. I set up and practically put the party together myself. I am super proud. There would have been more stuff I would have liked to add but overall it was a success. The dinner was the definition of girl hood. Something I do wish might have happened differently is my chocolate fountain. I accidentally used the wrong type of chocolate so it hardened when it was supposed to fountain out. I love pink so much. And I love flowers so much. #PERF
PC:Karin
Beauty Standards
In the time we are in now women’s beauty standards are a thing that deeply confuses me. Body image is a growing problem among teenagers with 35-57% of teen girls having an eating disorder. Many teens strive to have a perfect hourglass body in the hope of being more appealing to boys or more content with themselves. In the eyes of boys if girls are too skinny they are anorexic or they should go eat a burger. If they are slightly chubby there are pig and should eat a salad. Clothing is another very controversial thing if they show too much of their body they’re a s**t but if they dress conservatively then it’s assumed they don’t have a good body. Social media plays a huge role in this. Teens scroll on social media and often compare themselves to others who appear to have the perfect body and life. If there is one thing I have learned as a teen it is things usually aren’t as perfect as they are displayed on people’s socials. No one wants to post a picture where they believe they don’t look fit. Photoshop is a thing commonly used by teens and also contributes to eating and body issues. Girls will edit their bodies in the hope of fitting the impossible beauty standards. Then when they look in the mirror and compare it to their edited photo they want to look like the photo and often develop mental health issues such as body dysmorphia.
Clothes
Today I was shopping and I needed money so I decided to sell some of my old clothes. I sell my clothes through an app called Depop and I sold over 40 pieces this summer but I haven’t listed anything in a while. I have so many clothes my closet at my mom’s and dad’s is full but I always find something new and cute and buy it. I went through my closet today and got rid of so many things. Although a lot of them were cute I feel like I don’t wear them enough. I have so many clothes and I never get a chance to wear some. I took photos and captioned them and so far I have made $82 which doesn’t sound like much but for old clothes that were collecting dust it’s pretty good. I feel so productive after doing that and I can’t wait to spend the money on more clothes.
Shooting Stars and Rising Sun, A Moment Suspended in Time
I remember walking along the edge of the pier, the sound of the sea drowning out my thoughts, and the warm breeze creeping under my T-shirt. It was 3 a.m., and I turned to my friends with the question, “Is anyone thinking of going home?” I could clearly see in their eyes the answer was “no.” I remember how soft music played from the speaker. I remember, as I gazed at the endless and clear sky, seeing a shooting star. That time, I made a wish to be happy, and to this day, every time I see a shooting star, I always wish for happiness. Although I had no plans to sleep, I still put in my night retainers (back then, I never knew where I’d end up at night, so I always carried the retainers in my purse). My lisping voice, due to the discomfort in my mouth, triggered a wave of laughter among us.
Dawn gradually claimed its rights, filling the quiet waterfront with sunlight. At exactly 5 a.m. I found myself in the warm Mediterranean Sea, watching the sunrise that ignited a new day with my best friends. I vividly remember the smell of the sea that day, it was bright and fresh. The wind blew in my face while I laughed as my friends tried to drag me under the water. At that moment, there was absolutely no one around us. We were the violators of silence in the early morning of a sleepy seaside town. Only the sun could judge us for our recklessness, as it became the sole witness to our mischief. At that moment, it seemed that all that existed in the world was us, the sea, the sun, and the music playing in the background.
We climbed out of the water as the song “Show Me The Way. by Vintage Culture” played for the tenth time. In a frenzy of laughter, happiness, and impunity, we began to dance, wet and slippery, stepping on each other’s feet.
I remember how my wet hair clung to my shoulders and face, how the mosquito bites on my legs hurt. I remember the look of happiness on my best friend’s face. I remember the smell of the sea mixed with a sense of carefreeness. I remember the dawn, the most beautiful dawn I had ever seen.
At that moment, wet and happy, I did not realize that it was my last evening with my friends, the people I loved so deeply. In the morning, when I returned home tired, wet, and salty, I received an email informing me that I had been accepted into a then-unknown small school in California.
To this day, I miss the fresh smell of the sea, the warm wind, and the music from the speaker. I miss the dawn terribly. I miss being happy.
PC: me
Junior-itis
Sadly, junior year is the most important time of my high school career and the time when I need to get my best grades and have my best academic performance; however, that is extremely difficult.
I’m definitely done with school and everything that comes with it. It is kinda expected that during your hardest time, you get your best grades, but honesty, that has just not happened even with me putting more effort into school than in previous years. I have not been able to get straight As any time in my life, and now that I have the most things going on in my life, I’m expected to get them. Like, come on, that’s not gonna happen.
On top of school, I still have things outside my current life that have a higher priority. However, when I prioritize those other things, my grades start to slip. So I’m not too sure what to do.
I can put my school life ahead of my other life, but that will hinder my mental health. Plus, school just isn’t as important to me as other things, but it’s important for my future (maybe?).
But anyway, back to the topic of the post, I definitely have the junior form of senior-itis, which is slightly different from senior-itis but I just know that my college is riding on this year, so I’m still putting in some work but trying my hardest to put in the least amount of effort and get maximum outcome.
Another way it’s similar to senior itis is that I am very ready to leave OVS. No offense to the school; I just believe I have served my time here and am ready for a little change of pace.
And watching the seniors all get ready to leave to go to college or wherever they plan on going makes it way worse. I feel like I’m picking up their readiness to leave when, in fact, I’m not close to leaving yet.
Although it is all about perspective, because it is unbelievable that I’m already nearing the end of my junior year when I was a freshman not too long ago, so maybe looking at it from another way will help out.
This isn’t something new that people haven’t heard im pretty sure everyone is feeling this. I just needed to write this down somewhere.
PC: https://www.gilbertschools.net/cms/lib/AZ50000423/Centricity/Domain/4/Neely_GOLD.jpg
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