Tag: personal

Senior Slump

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Junior year is famed with being the hardest year of high school. Since I finished my junior year I’ve been ecstatic to go back to something easier with my senior year. I was lied to.

Difficult schoolwork and intense memorization. Sports until the sun sets and games until my eyes droop. Senior Capstone and overwhelming deadlines. College essays and applications galore that I can’t keep track of. I’ve never been so overwhelmed before in my life.

At the end of my junior year I was giving up and not putting in good effort whatsoever. I assumed that the summer would regenerate my motivation like it had every other year, but no. I feel the exact same as I did last May. I go through the motions but don’t truly memorize work. I participate in sports at the expense of my energy and time spent on schoolwork. I procrastinate the Capstone because I keep telling myself I have five months to work. I write my college essays and fill out my applications. Is it good enough? Will all of my hard work finally pay off?

I don’t know how my senior year will play out yet but I do know it will be difficult. I hope to get back into the groove and stay consistent. I also hope that people will stop lying about junior year being the hardest because senior year surpasses it drastically.

Picture Credit- Google

Mexican Parties

brownbeansLeave a comment

Over the summer, my sister turned 15, and since we are Mexican, she had a quinceañera! Her party wasn’t very traditional; it was in someone’s backyard, and it was planned a week before. Her dress was beautiful, but it wasn’t the traditional ball gown. It was sparkly and blue with many flowers. Although it wasn’t your typical quinceañera, it was still a long night full of fun!

This party was the last Mexican party I have been to. Mexican parties are very different from American parties. Every party I go to, the music is so loud I can hear it in my bones, and my heart beat is replaced by the tempo of the music. The dance floor is never empty; you can always count on someone’s drunk uncle or aunt to bust a move. Not to mention the food is always delectable. At my sister’s quinceañera, we had birria tacos, rice, beans, and tons of snacks. Birria is a stew with meat that is slow-cooked for multiple hours on end. The longer it is cooked, the better it is.

Parties are a group venture; they help bring the community together, especially quinces. We had about 10 people offer to buy stuff for the party, from the cake, to the table decorations, to even a mechanical bull. It was so much fun! I miss going to Mexican parties.

credit: Pinterest

Weather

unicorn123Leave a comment

The weather often has a profound impact on one’s mood. Sunny days feel uplifting, while a cold and gloomy mood feels lazy and exhausting. Temperature shifts change the feeling of a day. The feeling of driving to school on a crisp, cloudy day feels nostalgic and calm. But driving to school in blistering heat feels draining. I haven’t decided my favorite season because I feel like they all have different memories and feelings attached to them. Summer is sweet and warm. Anytime I hear waves crashing against the beach or fireworks, I’m brought back to summers in the past. Fall feels like a fresh start, the school year is still new, and the weather starts to change. The taste of pumpkin and a feeling of nostalgia from summer in the air. Christmas is the best of all. The feeling that comes with Christmas time is unexplainable. Being a child and opening gifts on Christmas morning in pajamas. I would do anything to feel Christmas again as a child.

PC: google

Write your Application Like you’re Chappell Roan (yes really)

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When I did my writings, I got the sense my English classes only laid half the groundwork for presenting myself in the best light. Yeah, I got the sense of which rhetorical devices best clicked in some analytical essay, but analysis only occasionally begets charm in real life. I had to trim sentences for applications when I was rewarded for padding them out before. I had to justify myself rather than a distant theorem. Heck, until last year, I barely knew the importance of how applications use essays, so the persuasive quality of my writing was rather touch and go for me.

I’m guessing I probably get my head around the assignment around December, which is fortunate because it took me until after application season for me to find an unintentionally stellar college supplemental in the wild:

This is only an 90 econd speech but you can easily hear the conviction Chappell has about her past, and how it connects to a broader issue and community. And if it spoke to me, someone who otherwise has little to do with the music industry, then maybe we hit the formula for effectively marketing oneself. At least anecdotally, I can definitely see that when my supplementals paralleled this speech’s strengths, my application was far more likely to get past the post compared to when I felt aprehensive about my efforts just before hitting submit.

So in short, to be like Chappell:

  1. Be honest and vulnerable – that way you’re relateable and readers/interviewees know you’re genuine
  2. Use punchy, but down to earth language
  3. Emphasize that you’re part of a bigger cause

what the BORG?

purcyLeave a comment

I do not drink, but I do have TikTok and there’s a collage trend called “BORG”. It is a gallon of water that is poured out halfway and then filled up with either juice or alcohol and it has a lot of electrolytes or water flavoring in it. It’s supposed to be healthy but it doesn’t sound like it. Anyways, everyone names their “BORG” something funny and that’s my favorite part because I think it’s hilarious. Here are my favorite “BORG” names I’ve come up with.

“Wouldnt you like to know wether BORG”

“Bob’s BORGers”

“I woke up in a new BORGatti”

“Justin BeBORG”

“BORGalishis” 

“starBORG”

“Codys just a BORG, Codys this Codys that, Codys me bro. Let me be me”

“He touched the BORG”

“This BORG is on fire”

“Whose drivin this BORG”

“Save a BORG ride a cowboy”

“All a-BORG”

“Kiss me im BORGish”

““Dont touch my BORG”

pc: Pintrest

Test taking

kittenqueen3Leave a comment

I hate taking tests more than anything even more than I hate Mondays. I’ve never walked away from a test thinking I did good. Even if I end up with a good score I still feel like I could have done more and better. When I try to study for tests I often feel overwhelmed just by looking at the material. Multiple choices are both my favorite and least favorite kinds of questions. Sometimes there are two answers that both seem right and the correct one is the one that is considered “most right”. That should. be illegal. I’ve been told I tend to give up the second I don’t understand something and I think that’s true. If I don’t get a concept or topic instantly it frustrates me. School has come easily to me my entire life and recently it hasn’t been there’s nothing more frustrating than not understanding your own brain. I can’t explain it one day there was just a switch in my brain and suddenly school didn’t come easy.

PC:”Crash test dummy png sticker“/ CC0 1.0

every thought in my head at the moment

shallahan#1moochLeave a comment

Sometimes I just think I’m not real. Like I’ll just look around and be like what.

I literally go to sleep at like 7:30 and I’m still so tired. 

People have been asking me what colleges I’m thinking about and I’m just like I have no idea I’m only a sophomore. But honestly, I probably do need to start thinking about that.

I love having nails but it makes it so hard to live life lowkey. It is really hard to type but they give me so many oodles of happiness so it evens out.

I think my Starbucks gift card has unlimited money. I’m so confused because when I first loaded it into my app it said it had 10 dollars on it but the balance on it goes up every time I use it so I’m just confused.

Scout started driving me to school and it is so fun and amazing.

PC:Google

Throne of Glass

purcyLeave a comment

I love reading so much. I have never loved a book more than the Throne of Glass series. I recommend that book to anyone and everyone. I am reading the Everflame series now and it’s good but I’m having a hard time finishing it because nothing could ever be as good as Throne of Glass. I genuinely got through the whole 8 book series in 3 months which is weird because I have never liked reading until now. There are literally no days that I don’t cry about Celaena waiting for Sam in the Assassins blade. Anyway, here are some of my favorite book quotes from TOG.

“I am Celaena Sardothian and I will not be afraid.”

“Once upon a time in a land long since burned to ash, there lived a princess who loved her kingdom.”

“This girl wasn’t like wildfire – she was wildfire. Deadly and uncontrollable.”

“You do not yield.”

“To whatever end, Fireheart.”

“Even when this world is a forgotten whisper of dust between the stars, I will always love you.”

“The world will be saved and remade by the dreamers.”

“It was all borrowed time anyway.”

“Nameless is my price.”

“She was fire, she was darkness, she was dust and blood and shadow.”

“You can not pick and choose which parts of her to love.”


PC: pintrest

What I Will Do as I am Manifesting my Dream School Accepting

scarlettoharaLeave a comment

After blogs after blogs of hoping for this, I really do think I’m on the up and up at this point. Or, at the very least, I think of a lot of the troubles I had before as rather silly now. I’m back to my nonchalance, go with the flow persona, so here are some things I will go back to doing.

  1. Journal when I have time, not just whenever I’m in a cafe.
  2. Sleep properly. I’m not going to sleep till 11pm because it looks like a reasonable time for most people. Not if I’m spending all day yawning and stretching, having heavy lids the whole evening, until I stay up till 11pm again just to catch up on what I needed to do before.
  3. Use Soluna. It’s a mental health/self-improvement app that I’ve recently been recommended. It has mini motivational articles, options to reach out to coaches, but what I’m sure to use most are the tools they have. They have breathing exercises, white noise, etc. enhanced by visuals, which for whatever reason makes me feel more motivated to use them. Actually check it out if your in the 13-25 age range, it’s going to change your life.
  4. Remind myself what I really have. Yes, I need to be cautious when considering my future and what may limit it. And plenty of people like to hammer that point in. But honestly, those who find that much of a need to eulogize me to my living face must be haunted by their own demons in a way. Either they are desperate for me not to have the same fate, or they seek to fill me with the same despair they have. So no matter what, I’m going to be whoever suits me best.

Dear Sister

scarlettoharaLeave a comment

(This isn’t an actual letter I sent to anyone. These are just things I would like to say if they would be accepted)

Dear [no-name],

So far I already got into 4 UCs and one of them is a full ride, so please don’t tell me my only option is community college. Or that I was foolish for not applying to any beforehand. That, when I was worried about not being able to go to college at all, you said I was classist to expect what you’d gotten. And to be clear, I know you lied on the spot when you said you were smart enough to apply to community colleges at my age, since before you said the only colleges you got accepted to were UC Santa Cruz and Emerson. It would be a miracle if any community college were to reject someone like you, when they’re legally mandated to accept petty felons.

You might hope that you’d help me, but here are some ways I wish you’d help. I wish you’d understand that there are four years between the last time we actually lived together, and I’ve lived on my own the whole time. My high school experience has been much more open, you might even call it crunchy, than what you, our family, or even most of our people get to experience. That’s part of why I got different priorities than what you might consider natural. In fact, so many of my expectations on how humans work are shattered by the great people around me, because most people aren’t so Confucian that they deny themselves of experiencing joy or equality. They respect me and everyone else on the basis that we’re people. It’s not something that must be earned, and it’s not the opposite of preparing someone for the real world, or whatever you say to excuse yourself.

And since you tell me you never mean anything you say, then can you perhaps not take what our family and I say as personal attacks? Because no offense, but whenever you tell me I’m unprepared to be an adult, I feel you’re a pot and I’m the kettle in the situation.

Sincerely,

Me

PC:Google