Tag: sad

Be Your Own Coach

brownbeansLeave a comment

The other day, as I was scrolling on TikTok, I came across a girl’s page, and I watched her pinned videos. I instantly got blasted back to last year when I was doing the exact same thing, and her words changed my mindset. Last year was not the best for me mentally. I had a lot of stuff going on in my personal life, and it was interfering with my relationships and academics. I would drown myself in my school work so I wouldn’t have to think about my life. One of my ways of distracting myself would be to spend hours upon hours on TikTok. It was one of these hours that I saw that girl’s video.

The gist of it was to be your own coach. She said to imagine that you are a coach, that is your whole purpose in life, and the only reason you are put on Earth. As a coach, you are stuck with one human from their birth until their death. You get to put thoughts in their head, make them do stuff, etc. As a coach, you don’t want to insult your human and make them feel bad; you want them to fulfill their life the best way they want. You are the coach to yourself.

This completely changed the way I talked to myself. I was so used to comparing myself to others who I thought accomplished so much more than I did, I forgot my purpose in life. I went from putting tons of pressure on myself to letting myself relax. It took some time for this adjustment to be fully implemented in my life, but when it did, I was doing so much better. Why would I be mean to myself? It is my first time on Earth, just like everyone else. When times get rough, I try to be the best coach I can be. The TikToker might’ve thought her video was just some dumb TikTok, but it genuinely helped me get out of a hard time in my life. I am so thankful for her.

credit: Pinterest

School

brownbeansLeave a comment

I know the schedule is supposed to be random, but it is not. I have all of my hard classes on day twos and my day ones are so easy. My day twos are: AP Stats, AP Lit, AP Psych, and yearbook. I love yearbook, but it is so hard having to edit all of the pictures that go in the yearbook and having to make like twenty million pages at the same time. It is essentially another class with a bit more homework, but without any tests or studying. My other classes during day two are very reading-based and have to be studied intensely. It is even harder because volleyball has at least two games every week, so I have less time to do my homework, and I’m super tired from traveling all day, making it difficult to even think about homework. I have a severe disdain for day two.

Day One, on the other hand, is the most blessed ever. My classes are Gov, Journalism, AP Computer Science Principles, and Free block! I love gov, I wish I had gov every day because it is so fun, and it is what I want to pursue in the future. I also love the teacher, and she is always willing to discuss current events with me after class. Journalism is so chill, and the class is so good. AP Comp Sci Principles is so funny. I sit with my friends and we spend all of class laughing. I think the teacher thinks we are crazy. Finally free block, I sleep, do homework, and eat snacks. It is a nice break from dealing with people and allows me to relax before going back to school. The contrast between the two days cannot be any more different; one day I look forward to, the other makes me so sad and stressed.

credit: Pinterest

might get a flip phone idk

progstenLeave a comment

Honestly been considering getting a flip phone after a lot of thinking. The only things I really need from a phone is text call and music however the flip phone doesn’t have music, so I’m not really sure if I should get one or not. I think it would be sick to have a flip phone after being convinced of the benefits by someone with the name of Ben, but I would need some sort of other device for music. I had something for that a while ago, aka an Apple watch but I lost that when I was surfing and I left it on the back of Soren’s car, and then we drove away so it fell off. I would buy a new one and that would fix all my problems but they cost a lot of money but not to much so im defenitly considering it. Back to the flip phone I feel like it would just be a cool things ot have but ben brought up a good point aswell that it would kinda filter out the people i meet. for example if I wip out the flip phone and the person I meet is like ” thats sick as hell” that would tell me that their more my type of person but if they were like “wow you have a flip phone *in a very undermining tone*” it would tell me that their not my type of person.

https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=583150690&rlz=1C5CHFA_enUS974US975&q=person+mad+on+the+phone&tbm=isch&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiU7feQzMmCAxUILEQIHRkvDhgQ0pQJegQICxAB&biw=1600&bih=884&dpr=1.8#imgrc=iAC-1bO0CAuMaM

Weather

graypenguinLeave a comment

In my last blog, I wrote about clouds. That is my favorite weather story. In this post, I’m going to continue that and write about my dislike of rainy days. Of course, rain is an essential part of life, but I feel a little down when it rains. Some people may find the sound of rain soothing and cozy.

I dislike rainy days not only because of the overall atmosphere but also because of the bad memories I have.
In Japan, where I live, it is normal for it to rain, and we are usually prepared for it, whereas in California, it doesn’t rain as much and we are not as well equipped. Especially where I am now, even a little rain can cause flooding.
I have a bitter memory of a time when I came back to the U.S. from Japan and could not go back to school because it was raining. I had a lot of bad luck, my cell phone internet was not working, and the hotels nearby were full, so I had nowhere to go. Finally, my friends invited me to their house and I was able to survive this misfortune.
For me, rain is not my favorite weather, as I have some bitter memories of it.　Rainy days are not my favorite, but perhaps they have their own beauty and charm. I am not saying that I dislike rain, but I hope that one day I will be able to appreciate its charm.

pc:https://www.vcstar.com/gcdn/presto/2023/01/14/PVCS/488cf9d6-e228-418e-a16d-7a4ad6037b48-Saturday_rain_flood_1.JPG?crop=5103,2871,x0,y259&width=3200&height=1801&format=pjpg&auto=webp

More Opossums

treefroggyLeave a comment

Look at these opossums.

https://imgix.ranker.com/user_node_img/50070/1001387734/original/1-photo-u1

He’s a baby. Shut up, he doesn’t need anyone’s opinions.

https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/ae41f703-b7e7-470b-9d25-19bcce86d4d1/scale-to-width/755

He’s so thicc. Look at that face. Give him your soul or else.

https://ridabuginc.com/media/k2/items/cache/f4b6dca0e2911082f0eb6e1df1a0e11d_L.jpg

Happy late Mother’s Day. You’ll never be cuter than this mom. She’s perfect.

https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1577879673880-1f9c0e75b250?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&ixid=MnwxMjA3fDB8MHxzZWFyY2h8MXx8cG9zc3VtfGVufDB8fDB8fA%3D%3D&w=1000&q=80

Teefs. That’s all.

https://imgix.ranker.com/user_node_img/50070/1001387782/original/1-photo-u1?auto=format&q=60&fit=crop&fm=pjpg&dpr=2&w=375

https://imgix.ranker.com/list_editor_img/18637/2598637/original/cute-possum-photos-u3

The tiny toes and weird worm tail? Perfection.

https://wl-brightside.cf.tsp.li/resize/728x/jpg/fdb/c05/856c685e69b85730c9f10a6117.jpg

I have to live knowing I’ll never be as happy as this opossum. Shoot me.

https://us.123rf.com/450wm/farinosa/farinosa2008/farinosa200800039/152702311-the-virginia-opossum-in-decorated-room-with-christmass-tree-.jpg?ver=6

He’s so concerned over the oranges being spilled… I’m going to cry.

https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/funny-cute-possums-opossums-119-61b9f4db116b7__700.jpg

No one will ever love me as much as I love this opossum. Nothing even matters.

Sorry for getting emo on y’all. Opossums give me so many emotions.

Lyrics i’m working on

ojaipizzaLeave a comment

I’m Stress out

What I do will never workout

What I chose ain’t gonna workout

I just wanna scream out loud

I’m running out of air in this empty space

believe someone will save my life

I just wanna see the light

I’m all alone

Everything I have now is gone

Thought this feeling will never be long

Always believe I will find my goldstone

Tears drop

Cry out

Fall down

Break apart

I just want to be normal, not the way you see me

The voices in my head

The voices in my head

The voices in my head

The voices in my head

Photo Credit: Lofi Aesthetic

Ending a chapter

currychickenloveLeave a comment

Five more weeks. Only five more weeks and one of the biggest chapters of my life will come to an end. I came to America 3 years ago, planning on only staying for half a year. And now here I am, three years later. These have been the best three years of my life. I will miss this place more than I can explain. All the memories and people. It is hard leaving it behind. But I know that I will always be connected to this place and to the people. I know I will return, and I have made friendships for life here. 

Even though I am very sad to leave, I am also excited to see what the future will hold. I have so many plans and trips coming up that I can hardly wait for. I am taking a gap year in which I will be in a different country every month doing my wildlife photography. I am going on a 1-month backpacking trip in Montana and I have so many more plans, and then college. I couldn’t be happier with my college decision. I will be attending Montana State University. The location is absolutely beautiful, they have amazing programs, and their outdoor program is everything I was looking for in a college. The Yellowstone ecosystem is just 30 minutes away from campus and there are awesome ski resorts nearby.

I am incredibly sad to leave Highschool but I will never forget the people and memories I have made here. Thank you for the best three years of my life.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montana_State_University

empty

vinlandsageLeave a comment

love is like a shower

when you’re in it

it is warm and nice

it feels better than anything in the world

but once you get out of the shower

its cold

its distasteful

you want more of that shower

some people dont shower

and maybe their on to something

if you dont go in the shower

you dont have the feel the pain of leaving it

love is the same way

if you dont fall in love with her

you dont have to be sad when it goes away

sometimes not showering seems like the right idea

maybe you feel dirty

but you dont have to get your expectation up

and then fall down

with love,

maybe you’re sad and lonely

but if the relationship ends

the pain is way worse

so sometimes

i dont like showering

Medium shot of an old television on a bed at night - Stock Video Footage - Dissolve

art credit: dissolve.com

Day Dreaming

vinlandsageLeave a comment

Remember the past, dream of the future

there is no changing the fact that they are gone

there is no changing the fact that you will not see them again

we miss the things that are gone

and take what we have for granted

no matter the experience

there is always the part of them we miss

there is always the hole in our hearts for what they turned us into

whether good or bad

it just makes or breaks us in the end

those who make it through the pain and hurt

those who push until the last second

they are the ones who are strong

we may have hated them

we may have despised them

but in the end

they made us who we are

Girl looking at sky clip art, anime girls, clouds, stars, Kyoukai no Kanata HD wallpaper | Wallpaper Flare
Art Credit: wallpaperflare.com

decomposition

icaruswithwarmwingsLeave a comment

she rots from the inside out

invisible save the yellow in her sunken eyes

she knows more than I ever thought she could

of suffering 

of loss

and like a gnawing in my gut

the unmistakable stench of raw human 

bubbling to the surface

a fetid mess of spoiled hope

the decomposing children

the putrid flowers in a gaudy crystal vase

with glossy eyes

she grips at the double-stitched seam

the edges of her perishing world

casting into the pit

only to reel in rancor

then with bitterness and spite

she reaches into my throat

her bubbling skin

her gold plated wedding band

and she rips from its moorings 

a part of me

cold and clean

(that night I washed my hands with crude oil)

https://www.amusingplanet.com/2019/04/human-decomposition-in-japanese-artwork.html