My grades right now are not an accurate representation of who I want to be as a student. My APES grade is not good at all. That test that everyone in my class took was so confusing. Other than APES, my grades aren’t terrible, a couple of A’s, some B’s, but I wish they were all A’s. College is not as far as it was last year, and I really need to start doing better if I even want a chance at getting into a good college. Not only is there stuff inside of school, but there’s stuff outside of school as well. I really need to spend more time focusing on school than worrying about other things. The annoying part is that there is no opportunity for me to even improve my grade in APES because the only things that change it are the tests. So, moving forward, I really, really, really need to study and focus because this path I’m headed down is not a good one.
It is often stated that we should capitalize on our childhood and adolescent days, cherishing our time young before the responsibilities of adulthood. But while the future is always uncertain, it is also strongly emphasized that our choices, habits, and achievements during our growth, particularly during high school, heavily dictate the course of our careers and future well-being.
It feels as though the happiest people among my generation are those who care less and thus worry less. They bury themselves in constant temporary pleasures to shield themselves from unwanted responsibility and discomfort.
These people tell me I worry too much.
Then, there are people who put every waking moment to good use. They bury themselves in constant work, sacrificing momentary pleasure in favor of ensuring that their future is abundant in possibilities and is as stable as it can be.
These people tell me I’m not worried enough.
Nothing is in black and white. I can’t tell if I’m wasting my time or not making the most of my youth. I am left in a state of paralysis, unsure whether to be happier now or to invest in future happiness.
I know the schedule is supposed to be random, but it is not. I have all of my hard classes on day twos and my day ones are so easy. My day twos are: AP Stats, AP Lit, AP Psych, and yearbook. I love yearbook, but it is so hard having to edit all of the pictures that go in the yearbook and having to make like twenty million pages at the same time. It is essentially another class with a bit more homework, but without any tests or studying. My other classes during day two are very reading-based and have to be studied intensely. It is even harder because volleyball has at least two games every week, so I have less time to do my homework, and I’m super tired from traveling all day, making it difficult to even think about homework. I have a severe disdain for day two.
Day One, on the other hand, is the most blessed ever. My classes are Gov, Journalism, AP Computer Science Principles, and Free block! I love gov, I wish I had gov every day because it is so fun, and it is what I want to pursue in the future. I also love the teacher, and she is always willing to discuss current events with me after class. Journalism is so chill, and the class is so good. AP Comp Sci Principles is so funny. I sit with my friends and we spend all of class laughing. I think the teacher thinks we are crazy. Finally free block, I sleep, do homework, and eat snacks. It is a nice break from dealing with people and allows me to relax before going back to school. The contrast between the two days cannot be any more different; one day I look forward to, the other makes me so sad and stressed.
When the school year started, I felt like I would be able to do chemistry. With my high ego, I walked into the class for the first time thinking it would be a piece of cake. I ignored how all of my older friends said how this was the hardest class they had ever taken. They all had said that they finished the semester with below a B. What I don’t understand is why we are mixing science and math, the two hardest subjects, and my two weakest. On the most recent test, it was based solely on math. I did the first page before I broke down in tears. It was almost embarrassing, having a breakdown over a chemistry test. No matter how hard I tried to understand it and answer the questions, I just couldn’t. I was like I was staring at numbers floating all over my page, asking me which one is a kilometer. How does one even study chemistry? If I don’t understand it in the first place, how will I study it? Not being able to do the test discouraged me for the rest of the day. I started to doubt myself and my knowledge, in other classes too. Until I realized that everyone struggles in some way, regardless of what class or situation.
This weekend I toured a school that was never at the top of my list, but after visiting, became the center of my target. Loyola Marymount University (LMU) was exceptional, and honestly, there was nothing I didn’t favor. The school is located in Los Angeles, specifically in the Westchester neighborhood, about four miles north of LAX. A prime location. With the beach Playa Del Rey being only 2.6 miles away, I practically have the ocean at my fingertips (an absolute non-negotiable). LA has diverse and delicious food, offering so many options. Aside from the location, the campus itself stands out on its own. The beautiful architecture was alluring. And unlike previous schools I’ve toured, the size of it didn’t consume me. Classes consist of an average of twenty students, meaning your teachers know you not only by name, but by character as well. The ability to form relationships with professors can be tricky, or even impossible at larger schools, but not at LMU. I could genuinely go on and on about the utter perfection of this school, but I would begin to bore you at some point. If LMU is not on your list, I would highly advise you to reconsider adding it.
Most aspects of life are not permanent or guaranteed, subject to spontaneous change.
Those who were once closest to you can drift apart due to physical distance or changes in character, leaving you feeling as though a piece of you was stripped away and left hollow. Artificial intelligence is increasing in its influence at an overwhelming rate, contributing to the perception that humans are obsolete in the face of technological advancements and posing a threat to human jobs. And with the current trajectory of United States politics, international students, such as myself, never know what new policies could be established that hinder or outright restrict our ability to continue my education in this country.
If these factors are out of our control, it makes us wonder why we try. If they are within our control, it makes us doubt whether we are trying hard enough.
Now more than ever, the very act of trying or investing time into anything can feel so daunting, with there being no peace of mind that we will be reciprocated for our efforts. But as much as I find comfort in what is familiar, I realize that change is not inherently or always an adversary.
The act of continuing despite uncertainty forces us to adapt and grow in alignment with the contiously unraveling world, serving as a testament to our resiliance. So while I can not prevent the disruption of the familiar, I refuse to let it leave me behind.
I had an extremely boring week. I did absolutely nothing exciting or interesting. One of the things I dont hate about school is that it gives me a better routine to follow but I also hate that it gives me no time to do things I actually enjoy.
Monday: I got to wake up late because I had two free periods first so that was nice. I still woke up too late and had to rush to get ready for school. It was a very normal day at school I got through my classes and then went to work. It was a bad day at work, it wasnt busy enough to stay interested so it felt like 10 hours. I went home did homework and went to bed.
Tuesday: I woke up late yet again, I got ready for school and left just in time. School was hard because it was my busy schedule, I went to all my classes, fell asleep during lunch finished the rest of the day and went home. I washed my sheets and cleaned my room and did my homework. I tried to fall asleep early but couldnt.
Wednesday: I woke up late, what a surprise. I hurried to school, went through my day as usual, and went home. I tried to go home early because my classes ended before lunch, but I didn’t. I went home and went to my workout class. I then went home and made dinner.
It is now thursday I expect today and tomorrow to be the exact same as this whole week. I hope that this rut is over soon and I can get back to doing things I actually enjoy.
Stress for me comes from many things in my life. The main things are school, cross country, soccer, student council, and work. I don’t have a lot of time for homework since I have so much to do all week. On Mondays, I go to school, and then I go home for an hour and get ready to leave for soccer, and then when I go to soccer, I usually get home around 7-ish. On Tuesdays, I go to school, then cross country, and then I go home for an hour and go straight to work, and then I get home at 9:50, and I don’t have time to do a lot of my homework because I get so tired. Then on Wednesday, I have the same schedule as Monday, and then Thursday I have a very similar schedule to Tuesday, but I don’t always have work, and then on Friday I have the same schedule as Tuesday, but I don’t always have cross country, and sometimes I have soccer stuff.
I think this week has been the worst week of my senior year so far.
Monday was fine; nothing really happened, it was a basic day. I went to my classes, went to sports, and hated that the weekend was so short and that I’m back at school. The homework was acceptably light, which made it better.
On Tuesday, I got up and got ready for the day. Unsurprisingly, an epidemic of sickness is currently occurring within the dorms. Everybody is either sick or getting sick, and not long, I know I’m going to be the next victim. But anyways, I didn’t have to go to all my classes since I had a volleyball gam.
Unfortunately, the volleyball game was in LA. We had to drive about two hours to get to the location, which was kind of annoying. We ended up getting there about thirty minutes early, which was kind of boring. Anyways, the. The team did really well. Although we lost pretty badly in the first and third sets, the second set was by far. The best set we’ve ever played, falling not far behind the rival team, losing only 22-25. I’m very proud of the team.
Wednesday is where it gets wobbly, not horrendous, but also not amazing. Honestly, I can remember most of it. Wait, yes, I do, it was actually pretty good because there was a town trip, which meant no sports. I actually did some work and got to relax. I did tutoring, which was easy because nobody showed up for English and History. I was really tired and was not able to focus on the task I was doing, so I watched a quick YouTube video. It kind of helped, but not really. I still felt really tired. After tutoring I went staright to bed.
Thursday was the worst. I woke up happy, because I was going to start my day with a free block, only to get it ruined by the notification” room check today.” It genuinely dampened my mood because, why out of all the days, is there a room check when I have my free block first? Anyway, I spent my free block in the bathroom because a teacher was checking the rooms ( turned out we could stay in the room while they did a room check). From there, my day spiraled. and progressively got worse.
Finally, Friday the one of the best days of the week. It is the final stretch of the week before the weekend. All my teachers didn’t assign weekend homework, which. I’m grateful for. So now I feel I can relax and fill out some more of my college requirements. Sadly, I know that once I shut my eyes, it will be Monday all over again.
College is coming. I have realized that I waited a bit too long to start my extracurriculars. I did some things in my sophomore year, but the colleges that I want to get into need far more than what I have accomplished. Even though it’s a hard process, I think I can do it. My ability to get into the colleges I really want relies solely on my shoulders, and it’s up to me to make my dream come true. People aren’t lying when they say that you need to start doing stuff freshman year. Other people around me seem to not care as much, and I end up thinking that I might be stressing myself out. However, I know what I want to do, and I know what I need to do in order to get into good colleges, and that’s up to me. I need to stop worrying about what everyone else is doing.
OVS Journalism Blog 
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