Earlier today I was reminded of an essay question I was given last year. It read:

Who would win in a battle: Batman, Spiderman, or Superman?

I have no doubt in my mind that Batman would win.

I am also the only person in my world history class who thinks so.

Batman would easily take out Spiderman with a Batarang before Spiderman could even think to spin one of his wimpy little webs.

Then there is the debate about Superman beating Batman. But Superman Would. Not. Win.

Batman’s true identity (shh! don’t tell!), Bruce Wayne, is one of the wealthiest men in the entire world. Anyone who thinks he wouldn’t be able to get a large amount of Kryptonite at the snap of his fingers is sorely mistaken. And although Superman appears to be indestructible, he can be killed.

Batman would have the Kryptonite ready for when Superman came bursting through a wall or a billboard or a freaking chihuahua, and Superman would be weak and feeble. Then Batman would tie Superman tight with a Batrope or a Batlasso or a Batscarf or a Batsomething.

And even though Superman could potentially get free if he escaped the Kryptonite infested areas, he has morals, and therefore would be too much of a girl to kill Batman.

Batman, however, is prepared to be the bad guy if need be, and the bad guys tend to kill… Mercilessly.

So before Superman could get away from the Kryptonite, Batman would be a badass and kill him. Or harm him so badly that Superman would not be able to hurt Batman and then he would be too afraid of Batman to ever go near him again and so Superman would run to his Superfriends and cry Supertears and write down his feelings in his Superdiary.

The End.