Tag: writing

The pressure eats away at you.

urmom8beanLeave a comment

The title doesn’t lie. School seems to get harder and harder, with college, student government, and planning things for our affinity group. Although academics aren’t a lot of pressure, I sure did give myself many extracurricular things to do. Balancing everything is a lot of work. I’m pretty sure every senior can agree with that. The work is like a tapeworm. They find their way into you and eat all the nutrients you eat, and once they are done with that, they move on from you.

You’re left drained

If I’m being honest, I’m not sure what I’m writing. All I know is that I have a lot to do, but I’m not even sure where to start. I also feel like time is just moving on and I’m so busy doing everything that I’m not enjoying it. But I do have the most beautiful memories, I have some of the best people surrounding me. I’m looking forward to break but that’s also the halfway mark of my whole senior year. I also have to turn everything in for college.

Very scary stuff

I just hope I get to finish everything soon as I can finally look up and enjoy senior year.

PC:https://www.pinterest.com/pin/587086501455589819/

People Watching

justthatonegirllLeave a comment

I watch the window as I sit at work. Waiting for someone to come in on this cold, wet day. Watching outside for even the shortest time, I notice so many different people. A pair of friends walk by, bags in their hands, and I wonder how long they have been friends. A langer family walks by like a flock of geese piled together to keep warm. The kids turn to peer in the windows of the shops. The lights for the holiday season make the darkness of the night brighter. I watch a cold, frail woman lug her big wagon full of everything she has, walk by without a jacket to keep her warm through the crisp winter. A man runs by frantically, looking scared, did something happen in town I think silently to myself. No, nothing happened he must have been in a rush for something I know as a couple passes happily hand in hand smiles on both faces. A little girl and her mom walk by the little girl had a toy in her hand. Admiring the toy her mom looks down admiring the girl. I sit and I wait. No one has walked by again. No one has come in my work in a while. It is probably because I work at an air-conditioned ice cream shop in this keen weather. Cars fly by the windows as I still wait for my last person to write about. Maybe it will be a young family? Maybe a large friend group? How about an old couple holding on to one another? I am unaware. I hope it isn’t one of those people who walks slowly past the window and stares in the shop not planning on walking in. It is a tall slim man. He has a headlamp on his head and is in a warm looking pile of clothes. Where is he walking to? Does he take a walk every night? Does he have a family waiting for him to start eating dinner with him? We will never know. The beauty of people watching. We won’t ever know what people are doing. Where they are going to. Why are they here? My last description because someone just walked by. A sad looking man in blue. He strolls by and it fascinates me to ponder on why this man is so sad and alone.

PC:Me

My issue with Spotify Wrapped

kittenqueen3Leave a comment

On November 29, I woke up and connected my phone to my speaker and noticed Spotify wrapped came out. I was excited at first, but I realized my disappointment at this same time last year. I personally believe Spotify wrapped is hacked for two reasons. First, on my top artists list, I had 21 Savage, who I never listen to unless he is featured on a Drake song. I personally listen to a lot of Zach Bryan and Lana Del Ray, and I believe they should have been there instead of 21 Savage. Secondly, I believe I listened to way more minutes because I always listen to music when doing homework, getting ready, showering, eating ,biking and often have aux in the car. The one thing I do like about Spotify Wrapped is everyone posts it and it gives sorta a insight in peoples lives. The music people listen to say a lot about them and Spotify Wrapped is a good way to learn a little about people you don’t know.

PC:Me

note to self

poofypuffyLeave a comment

Dear Friend,

I feel we never get to talk anymore.

It’s not your fault, I know we are both very busy.

But are we really? If I have the time to lay on the floor and scroll on my phone for hours, if I have the time to sit and do nothing everywhere- in lunch lines, in cars, in classrooms, shouldn’t I have found a moment for you? I should have and I’m sorry.

It’s not all my fault though. You lay on the same floor, scroll the same phone, stand in the same lines, sit in the same car, wait out the same classes. You should have found time. 

I think sometimes, I just don’t like you very much. I’d just rather scroll on my phone and think about nothing than work through anything with you. You’ve let me down a lot, and sometimes I don’t even know if I trust you. You forget things that you really should have remembered, and you say things when you really should have kept your mouth shut. When I am feeling down, I play those things over and over again in my head sometimes, until I feel worse. But I know I shouldn’t. It’s not your fault you can’t be perfect all the time, even though sometimes I wish you were.

You are a person that is allowed to make mistakes, and sometimes that comes in the form of a lapse in memory or a slip of the tongue. I know you try to do what you think is right, and you have grown as a person and will continue to do so. It’s not fair for me to judge you so harshly, because I don’t judge anyone I love so harshly, and I, of all people, should have some love for you.

Love, Yourself

Picture Credit: Daniel Dan

Thanks giving break so far

graypenguinLeave a comment

For the first time since I came to the U.S., I am spending Thanksgiving with my friend outside of school. The thing I was looking forward to the most during this vacation was seeing my friend who graduated last year. When the holiday started, I thought it would be a bit long, as if I would have 10 days off, but now that it has started, I am surprised that it is already Friday. Friday is the deadline for this blog, which is a little depressing, but Friday and Saturday are my favorite days of the week, so I’m happy about that. To be honest, not going to school and not seeing my friends are the parts of the vacation I miss a little.
This morning I went to Beverly Hills to see a friend who graduated last year. She was my roommate in my freshman year. She is very kind and has a beautiful heart. I was really looking forward to seeing her again. She usually goes to college about 5 hours away by car, so I can’t see her. We had lunch there. We had a variety of fish dishes, which were very tasty. After that, we walked around the area. There I bought a dog doll that I had been in love with for a while. I am sure I would have regretted not buying it, so I think I made the right decision. After that, we came home and made cabbage rolls. My mother’s cabbage rolls are one of her top 10 favorite homemade dishes. I couldn’t make it as well as my mother, but I was very happy that everyone liked it. After that, we watched a Korean drama while eating gelato, which I had been curious about for a long time.
I was very happy to spend time with them after a long time. I hope to see her again soon.

pc;https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/licensed-image?q=tbn:ANd9GcQnJSvx9WagSLBj4CFb_TzZteUErU6Fx3rqbsphHFEta7NgABRmYx7pq6dci0HU4mJkbcKrFpjSbCfLClA

The World

justthatonegirllLeave a comment

The world is just actually so beautiful. The colors flood through the ocean, the mountains, to the empty plains. The blossoming flowers, bloom over the mountaintops. The sun rising turns the sky a flume of pinks purples and oranges. The admirable ocean blue hues. The twinkle of the waves as they break along the shoreline. At night the stars light up the sky creating a pattern and light shining down on the quiet night. The sun shining at the perfect angle to light up the perfectly imperfect flower. The wind blowing the grass of the field where the horses run. While the rain pours it pounds down on the wet cement the clouds create a gray glare along the wet world. The pollution us humans bring are destroying the beauty of the quiet earth we love.

PC:Me

Sewing

justthatonegirllLeave a comment

This is just going to be a general blog post. Okay, so basically, I started sewing when I was 6 years old. I lived with my grandparents and would switch houses during the week. Sunday-Wednesday morning with my Nana and Wednesday night to Sunday morning with my Grandma and Grandpa. During my time with my Nana I she taught me how to sew. We would have our weekly sewing lesson, which I always looked forward to. If we didn’t finish our lesson that day it would continue to the next. And we did this for as long as I can remember. Till I grew up. I got busy. Recently I have been pretty into some art things. And I want to pick up sewing again. So I texted my Nana and she got me a new sewing machine. I am so excited to start back up on this once loved hobby. I would make my dolls clothes. I would make Christmas presents for the people I loved. Since I have been excited to pick this back up I have just been looking all over Pinterest and I have so many things I want to make. I am so excited I think this is going to be so fun. Not only can I do this for my own well-being but if I get good, this can be a good thing to put in my college portfolios. Anyway I am just so excited to make cute stuff.

PC: Me

Music

kittenqueen3Leave a comment

I used to hate listening to music while doing homework because I swore I could never focus with music playing. Over the summer, I was traveling a lot, and all I did was listen to music. I almost always had an Airpod in, which made my trip so much better. My family is very loud and chaotic especially when traveling. I often get travel anxiety as I always feel like I forgot something and worry about being on time as my mom is notoriously late. Music became my escape whenever my family would get too loud or I would feel overwhelmed. I would put on my noise-canceling headphones and turn on some music. I often make a new playlist as I get bored and my music taste constantly evolves. I’ve been listening to a lot of Drake, Taylor Swift, Frank Ocean, SZA, Travis Scott, Alex G, Future, Cigarettes After Sex, and Olivia Rodrigo. My music taste isn’t very original but I enjoy it and stay tuned for a blog on my Spotify wrapped.

“Headphones Music” by JESHOOTS.com/ CC0 1.0

chem is not for me

kittenqueen3Leave a comment

I’ve always struggled with science but chemistry is extremely humbling. Last year I did really well in biology getting a 96% on my final and having a 93 in the class. I was very confident going into chemistry but I have yet to succeed in anything so far. I have failed every test or quiz and struggled badly every night on the homework. I have taken time to watch videos explaining the topics but I still need help understanding. Chemistry is a notoriously hard class and I believe I could do it but I truly can’t. I have a test on Monday and I plan on spending my weekend studying although I am certain that I am going to fail. Today I have a review session during class and we are taking a practice test I have a feeling I’m going to fail that as well. I hope this test goes well.

Starbucks

uwucutiepatootieLeave a comment

I don’t think that it is possible to understand my love for Starbucks unless you are just the same amount of psycho about it as I am. Getting Starbucks is so different compared to getting food or a drink from anywhere else. I have gotten so much of it over the years that it feels like a second home. It is so fast to order and its just so good. I understand if people over the age of forty don’t love it, but if you are around my age, you are literally insane if you don’t love Starbucks. You don’t need to be unique and say that you like a gross underground cafe just to be different. I will admit that there are some really disgusting Starbucks drinks but for the most part, they are so good. I’ve never gotten any food from there that I don’t like. If I buy food from anywhere else I feel like I’m spending money, but Starbucks feels like a tax. There is just no life for me without Starbucks in it.

“Starbucks Coffee” by Tim Gouw/ CC0 1.0