Tag: writing

Fidgeting

treefroggyLeave a comment

I have ADHD, and a stereotypical symptom I experience is fidgeting.

The earliest ADHD symptom I can remember is fidgeting. Ever since kindergarten, I’ve bounced my legs under my desk. Sometimes it’s accompanied by finger-tapping. I remember having trouble doing mindfulness activities because I felt like I needed to move somehow.

In the past four years, I’ve started cracking my fingers. Every joint in my hand can pop because of the countless hours I’ve spent absentmindedly pulling and pushing on my knuckles. Sometimes, I do it so much that my hands are in horrible pain and I can barely move them.

I’ve been told various times that it’s annoying, that it’s disrespectful, or that I need to stop doing it. If I had a nickel for every time someone’s told me I’m going to have arthritis when I’m older, I would be rich.

However, I’ve never stopped. It’s not because I lack the ability to break bad habits, or because I hold a grudge against people who commented on it. It’s because most of the time, it doesn’t hurt me, but rather comforts me.

For people with ADHD, fidgeting is a way to expel the energy that our brain exponentially puts out. Fidgeting, while sometimes annoying to other people, is not something that should be repressed. It helps people with ADHD to cope with what happens in their brains.

Not fidgeting can make people with ADHD feel overwhelmed, and it makes us more prone to meltdowns. Fidgeting, when done in a non-harmful way, is a healthy behavior for people with ADHD.

I hope that this article helps people understand ADHD and its symptoms better. Remember to look out for your friends or family who have ADHD to make sure they’re taking care of themselves.

3 Ways to Help Fidgety Kids Sit Still - wikiHow
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Hyperfixations

treefroggy1 Comment

I have ADHD, and one of the symptoms I experience most severely is known as hyperfixation.

A hyperfixation is when someone with ADHD finds something that interests them and becomes infatuated with it. For me, it’s usually fictional universes like Marvel or DC. Hyperfixations can last from weeks to months, or even stick around for years.

When I hyperfixate, the topic becomes my entire world. I have trouble eating enough, drinking enough water, sleeping for a healthy amount of time, and just taking care of myself in general. School becomes the second priority, and I have a hard time staying on top of – or even being able to finish – my work. I spend hours on end in my bedroom consuming my hyperfixation and transferring it into what I like to do. In my case, I like to write.

During the first few weeks of a hyperfixation, I will write obsessively about it. I have written essays about how good the object of my hyperfixation is, made presentations to explain the lesser known details about it to my family, and overall written over five hundred pages of fanfiction about my various hyperfixations.

It might sound silly for a teenager to become obsessed with children’s shows like Star Wars: The Clone Wars, but at one point it was the only thing getting me through the school day.

Hyperfixations are no joke. They’re a symptom of neurodivergency and should be taken just as seriously as any other symptom. People in a state of hyperfixation sometimes mimic symptoms of depression and anxiety like irritability, lack of care for their future, and distancing themselves from other things they would usually like to do.

I hope that this article helps people understand ADHD and its symptoms better. Remember to look out for your friends or family who have ADHD to make sure they’re taking care of themselves.

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What is our purpose?

im6foot1 Comment

What is our purpose? Why are WE here today? Is it to create, design, or to construct? Or might it be to get, give, or keep? Why do we act the way we act? Or talk the way we talk? Is our purpose to love; or to hate? To build just then to destroy. Why are some of use active in the morning while others don’t start till noon? Why are no two people exactly alike(and is that bad)? Why am I writing this; and why are you reading it? Do you ever sit wonder on what the world will be in 100 years or what is was 100 ago? Is our purpose to restore? Why are some of us rich and others poor? What is my purpose, and what is yours?

Photo from ukedchat.com

Learning to Fly Again

treefroggyLeave a comment

You gave me a purpose

when I didn’t believe.

You pulled me from the dirt,

kissed me, and forgave me.

You taught me to feel

and you stuck around

when no one would.

I guess you’ve been here all along.

You pushed me off; I thought I died.

But I didn’t.

I learned to fly.

I was just afraid of heights.

The time came; I was ready.

I smiled crying,

sank to my knees,

and forgave the hands that hurt me.

“Leap For Joy” by Emily Olson

This love is like the moon

fishfaceshawtyLeave a comment

This Love is like the moon: the guiding light

The guiding light that is taking me home

The moon hangs on the flowers as we roam

The brilliant moon Illuminates the night

The moon watches new flowers bloom with delight

A tale as old as time, take me back to Rome

The guiding light that dims in the unknown

This love and the moon fell victim to fright

Going on, there are wounds that we must mend

Eventually, the story must end

An eclipse veiled the moon just as we feared

It’s hell on earth and the cities on fire

The serenity of the moon has tired

Just like the moon, this love has disappeared

image from weather.com

Music

pinkcube18Leave a comment

It is strange the way that we associate music with memories.

It is like a strong perfume that is impossible to disassociate with an era.

There are songs I cannot listen to because I was sad during the month it was in my playlist, or even because I feel that I have moved on from that time period. I now listen to a song knowing that one day, likely very soon, I will have grown out of this small era and will associate the song with the general mood of the month.

Small things in life change rapidly, including the clothes you choose, the breakfast you eat, your daily routine, the people you talk to, and the music you hear. Listening to music from a different era of mine often makes me feel uncomfortable, even if it was a good era, simply because I am not there anymore. It reminds me that times have changed, even if it is month to month.

Sometimes I regret listening to the same four songs day after day on my drive to school because I know what I am building. It will be a memory for my future self to listen to and reflect.

The automatic association of music and memories is hard to shake. They are not implicit memories, it is the general tone of the era that went unrecognized until you hear the songs and realize the moment has passed.

Image Credit: Apple Music

Follow the Road

fishfaceshawtyLeave a comment

As i begin my journey to follow this road

This is not Cormac’s Road, nor the road that you may know

i must realize this, before i choose to go

This is a road that only i am on.

You are taking your own road, 

But perhaps i’ll see you when we get there

I will follow the road as the bluejay follows the wind

Great and unknowing, this road is

Little do you know where you are headed

But that is the magic of this road

We are all on the pursuit of happiness

A new age

Welcome to the rest of your life, they say

Heaven belongs to you

When you reach the bump in the road

Hit it in stride

Take pride

When you reach the end up the road,

i urge you to look back and enjoy the view of the past

As you are on your way, and i am on mine

i wish you to drive safe

But enjoy the ride

Because time flies quicker than you know

Before you know it,

We’ll be saying goodbye

In another lifetime

Image from Material district

Cool Pool

icaruswithwarmwingsLeave a comment

You know that feeling.

Like when you sense something move in the cool stagnant water

underneath the surface,

where it shouldn’t,

it is.

Like being away,

the opposite of home,

and even as you jerk your leg away 

you can feel it cramp,

ripping hot.

You can feel the vessels crimp;

doubled,

twisted,

restricting you,

keeping you just within reach,

within reach of the cool,

the cool of the bottom of the pool

where the water doesn’t move

or isn’t supposed to.

from terra galleria

Spring

pinkcube18Leave a comment

Each year, spring seems to be the most overwhelming season. School begins to speed up as we are faced with tasks each day.

Now that the pandemic is slowly returning to normalcy as more students come onto campus, we are catching up on what we missed. This, however, results in the cramming of a years’ worth of experience into a single month. It is enjoyable in its little moments, though when I look at my planner, the words begin to blend into each other as the pages are smeared with hastily placed pencil marks. I return to my planner hourly, adding both academic assignments and extracurricular events. It is covered with reminders, such as bring my costume for the musical, or drop off a scholarship application.

I enjoy each day thoroughly, though looking ahead can be overwhelming. The tasks for one day are manageable, though skimming the multiple notes and plans for the week can feel as though it all must be done that day.

Perspective is vital to managing a planner. I always note that I am living in only one of the days on the page, and it is not yet time to manage the others. This spring may be busy, though it is my last opportunity to experience high school. I plan to enjoy every day, as they are my final moments on this campus.

Spring
Image Credit: Alina Demidenko – iStock

Journalism

pinkcube18Leave a comment

Journalism can be strange. It is a new way of facilitating my love for writing, yet with emphasis on the most important element – storytelling. Instead of researching my topics online, I now must go into the world and obtain information from people.

The reactions differ – some are more than happy to tell their story. Others, however, remain reserved as you push your way into their schedule. I enjoy the social element of journalism. I have an intriguing conversation with at least one person per week.

Journalism has taught me how to reach out to people, even if you don’t know them. I understand the format of an interview request email, and how to conduct a conversation where I get the other person to say all the right things. In journalism, I am but the message man, bringing other people’s stories into the limelight. I have enjoyed this experience as it has shifted me away from academic writing, improved my social skills, and made me a better storyteller.

Image Credit: Nicole Schuman