Persistence

Persistence is key to being successful. It’s hard to find someone who became successful with the inconsistent mindset. Especially during this period, where people have zero motivation to do something productive. It is crucial to maintain your persistence despite the situation unless on special occasions. 

Frankly, I’ve been not doing a good job of being persistent, but I always try to be more optimistic despite the harsh environment that we are in right now. 

I’ve been trying to set up a daily schedule to be more productive and persistent, once you started to get lazy, it is extremely hard to get back on track.

So I recommend getting out of bed and do anything you can to have the motivation to do other works. Once you get used to that routine, being persistent will be easier. I am also trying to maintain a lifestyle that is not lavish, and I hope this mindset will not change throughout time.

Stay safe and wash your hands.

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Staying Active

Since this global pandemic situation, I can say that I’ve been pretty inactive. I have no motivation to be active at this point. It is not a good time to go out and have fun with friends, and I can see my flaps on the belly clearly, so I decided to start home workouts. I do not have a lot of experience in this field, so I had to look up some videos on Youtube, and as I expected there were millions of videos of workouts that you can do by yourself. I decided to do 100 pushups every day and some cardio.

I do not know If I can keep up with this routine for months, but I will try my best to get in shape, so I don’t have to struggle when I go back to school.

I believe it is worth time, so I suggest you guys do it too. Exercises vitalize your body and mind.

I truly hope everyone is safe, and this situation will get better soon.

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Changes

Because of this global pandemic situation, all the standardized tests including APs and SATs are modified. Currently, all the SATs before are canceled and the college board announced that if this global pandemic situation continues they might change the policy and make students take SAT online. Cancellation of SAT on March was devastating for me, first of all the school announced that SAT testing is not happening the day before testing date, and March SAT was the test that I was looking forward to getting the score that I wanted since I’ve been studying a lot for it. 

AP testings are also modified in a way, where they allow students to take it at home and most of the AP testings contain 2 FRQs, and the college board announced that they will still grade those APs on 5 point scale.

These modified testings upset me frankly, but it is a situation that I have to deal with. I will try my best to get a good score on those testings. 

Again I hope this situation gets better soon.

PC: VHTSP.com

a feminist paper: presented through a playlist

The fembots. An early sign of the objectification and sexualization of the woman in pop culture. 

Ironically, “FEMBOTS” is the title of her strictly female artist playlist on Spotify. It’s still an early adaptation of a playlist that has the potential to go down in user oliviarosebrown5’s history as the best of her creation. 

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Once a month, I find myself grazing over the 20 playlists that each have their own emotions: pain, reminisce, serenity, pure joy. 

My feminist playlist was something that came to me over the years. Artists and songs that represented what it meant to be a strong woman were scattered over my several playlists. 

I found Eryn Allen Kane with Leon Bridges, 

Janet and Whitney with Michael, 

And Maggie in a junk drawer of alternative music. 

Each of them deserved to have their voices heard with clairity and without that pressure of male artists. 

Enter “Fembots.” 

“Fembots” is filled with female artists that taught me what it meant to love music the way I do. And not only that, they taught me about… life. 

The eerie yet poetic nature of Chloe and Halle as they ponder human impatience. 

Amber recreating a masterpiece with a new perspective while still preaching love’s power. 

Janet understanding that we don’t understand what we have until its gone. 

The confidence in being lost and letting ourselves be free from conformity is from Sabrina. 

Jamila offers “A Psalm Of Self-Love.”

The female artist that I have loved since I was a little girl dancing in her underwear has taught me more than what is reflected here but that’s for me to keep in my back pocket. 

Surely, goodness and mercy shall follow me. 

Psalm 23:6

no room for rebuttal

and instantly the home became a cold palace

the carpet that used to give only pushes

the couch that held us together now rejects us leaving us to grieve in unmoving thrones too large and too square

and perhaps most uncomfortably the faces that used to see now only look

and without argument suddenly something you barely knew was there is ripped from your writhing veins and placed squirming and inevitable under the unforgiving incandescent light. 

I worry about everything being right

being just

making sense

but tonight i just peer, timidly, into the eyes of my dead uncle and ask questions that will not be answered

but he couldn’t have remembered the answers even if he were still here

there is no rebuttal for death

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Surplus

Just because something is currently relevant doesn’t mean it should be used in everything. This is something that I have learned since the outbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic. Yes, it’s obvious that this disease is the most important current event. But it doesn’t need to be included in everything we do. I recently worked with a former teacher to craft a letter to a college that I was wait-listed at. We had a disagreement over a section where she insisted that I mentioned we were “shifting to online learning due to COVID-19.” This allusion was not relevant, and I refused to include it. I’m sure that everyone else is as tired as I am of hearing it over and over, especially an admissions officer who already knows that this is affecting students throughout the world.

Another reason why a constant stream of coronavirus related media is detrimental is because it usurps other important global news. For example, locusts are tearing through eastern Africa, demolishing crops and leaving many farmers with nothing. On a lighter note though, a second individual has been cured of AIDS, which is a huge victory for everyone. But you may not have known that, as virtually everything is about the bloody coronavirus.

It’s important to talk about major events, especially if there is a life threatening aspect to them like now. But it is equally important to provide a breather from all of this information, as it can be stressful, and honestly annoying. I also realize that I am contributing to the problem by writing this. Oh well.

Also the image below is a piñata that you can buy in Tijuana.

Credit: Mexico News Daily

strange little thing

I woke up late this morning, and everything just seems a little bit weird to me. 

I was eating my cereals with black grapes in it, and somebody knocked on the door. 

I reluctantly put down my cereal bowl and got up to answer the door. It was two package delivery guys with two gigantic TREES. 

Right, trees, taller than me, I saw two actual trees outside of my door. I even wonder how they fit them into the elevator.

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They checked the address with me, and that was correct indeed. 

I thought this is a prank from my silly friends or something. So I asked them who ordered these trees, and they told me that they didn’t know, they just knew they need to deliver them to here. 

I called my mom, and she said just put them on the balcony. 

Am I still dreaming? 

Anyway, I couldn’t just let two delivery guys wait too long. So I told them to put the trees where my mom told me. And then they left. 

So… now I’m sitting outside with these trees, and writing down what just happened here.

Virtual Class

After the global pandemic situation, most of the schools in America decided to shut down to prevent further spread of disease. Since the semester is not over yet, my school decided to continue all the lectures in a virtual class. Since the time zone is different,  international students have the chance to catch up on the online classes by recordings that teachers provide. 

At the moment, I feel like it is not as effective as lectures, and it is not easy to finish up the works and lectures daily, but I am trying to get back on track and finish up this semester strong with good scores on my standardized testings that’s happening soon. 

I miss my normal life, and I truly hope that this time will pass quickly.

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COVID-19 In Korea

I was notified that the school is shutting down the day before my March SAT, and standardized testing is not going to happen till May. I tried to stay calm and optimistic, but frankly, it was hard to not panic at the moment. I was clueless about my plan, and I wasn’t sure if I have to get a plane ticket back to my home country, Korea. 

After long consideration, I decided to go back in a week since all the students were leaving and school was forcing students to leave the campus as soon as possible. However, I was lucky to come back early, or I would have to be quarantined at a place that I don’t even know.

Asian countries are doing a great job dealing with this COVID-19 Issue, However, the number of infected people in Other countries like America and Italy are increasing exponentially., 

Schools in California officially stated that they are shutting down till the end of the semester, and it is uncertain that it would get better after summer, but I hope the situation gets better, So there are no more casualties and I can study in the proper environment.

PC: BBC KOREA

random thoughts

I brought an end to my last relationship two months ago, and that was the turning point I guess. After that, my life went like a roller coaster, everything just went up and down like crazy.

At first, I suddenly have tons of free time, I had nothing to do except resting in my room.

Till the time when some weird rumors about me were flying all over the place, I even heard my name mentioned with some words like “flirty” “player” “bitchy”. I was confused, I was being judged based on something that ain’t true.

I tried to stop it at first, but I had no idea who started the gossips in the first place. Nothing worked out well, except I made myself extremely exhausted.

Kind of lost control of myself those days. I have faced plenty of “first time” things: I almost failed my unit exam, I received some laps and did laps labors, I got kicked out of the classroom, I signed a contract with school…

I tried to let it go and calmed myself down. I brought several books to read during spare time.

On the bright side, there were some good “first-time” things: I talked to some people I haven’t talked to in a while, I hung out with several new friends, I went to some new places I never been to in the town before, I ordered Trenta size drink at Starbucks, my article got published on local newspaper…

To be honest, I had a thought about escaping, a break from reality, but I never expected this happened.

Something really big happened, all my difficulties were literally nothing compared with it. Coronavirus outbreak in the state, my school got closed off, my SAT got canceled, my AP exams became online. I thought I suddenly had nothing to do again, but I was totally wrong.

I needed to make a decision as soon as possible: should I stay or go home? I chose to go home after I went through lots of mental struggles.

Due to the limited airlines, I had to take connection flights. Due to the virus spread prevention, I had to take 14 days long quarantine. Due to the location I am, I had to access my learning materials through VPN. Due to the time differences, I will take my AP exams online at 2 am in the morning.

There are lots of unsatisfactory things that I can do nothing to make it better except deal with it, this is what I learned from this experience.

Just some words about my random thoughts…

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