As someone who has over 5,000 total hours on video games and absolutely no survival experience, I figured it would be fun to take my favorite games and which of them I think I could survive in.

Dark Souls 3: Being my favorite game of all time, I figured I would start with good ol’ Dark Souls. If you’re not a masochist, and you don’t know what Dark Souls is, it’s a fantasy game that’s generally regarded as one of the most difficult video game franchises. And as a masochist who has now beat the game countless times, I can confidently say that there is no way that I would even be able to kill a single enemy. I mean, the first hard enemy you fight is a giant crystal lizard dog that would beat me into a pulp before I could even lift my sword.

Hollow Knight: There is absolutely no way I’ll die in Hollow Knight. I mean everything in that world is literal bugs. If I can’t beat a couple of bugs, I don’t know what I’m doing in life.

Portal 1 & 2: As someone who considers themselves a pretty solid puzzle solver, I can confidently say that I can beat both portal games. Not only am I a decent puzzle solver, but Glados stands absolutely no chance against these hands. I mean all of her wires are always exposed. Ever heard of unplugging their wires? I mean if Chell can beat both games without thinking of that obvious loophole, then I can easily find my way through the Aperture Science Labs.