Slow enough for me to notice more things.

I like being quiet, but I don’t want to be boring.

I overthink too much about what to say and how they react after I say something.

It’s been a little worse lately but what I have noticed the most is how I don’t like being treated rudely.

Whether it be accusing me of stuff I didn’t do or mocking me. I don’t like it, and it’s even weirder because I don’t start it. Yet it always turns into an aggressive comment back to me. I usually don’t have the energy for it, and I hate how extra those comments are. What’s the point of being mean?

Now, I’m not saying I’m a saint either, but if it’s with my friends, I don’t think I’ve ever initiated the aggression. I think it may be a misunderstanding. I’m not always going to respond in a happy, bubbly tone, but that doesn’t mean I am angry. I just don’t have enough energy. I wish they were nicer.

I have noticed how off I have been, the slow decline

The days go by slower because I keep looking back. I’m afraid that as soon as I look forward and back again, I’ll already be at the end.