I would rather die than pick one of the choices

There is no right or wrong answer for every decision in life except the test in school, and that’s the problem. Every time I need to decide between two things, it can really take me forever. I just have no idea what to pick. I am really worried about myself at this point. My friends give me some advice that is to analyze the details in the choices, and picking one is beneficial for me. This is interesting. I know drinking too much boba isn’t good for my health, at the same time I can’t live without boba. You might think if I can’t live without boba then why not just buy it? The only concern I have is money. I don’t want to spend too much money. Now, I have to decide whether I should spend money on boba or not. My head is running a political election every time this happens. I just need someone to guide me on what I should do. Why is life so hard for me!

Here is a list of what I hate when someone ask me:

  1. What do you want to eat for dinner?
  2. Is the answer B or C?
  3. Did you like your mom more or your dad?
  4. What should we do next?
  5. What college do you really want to go to?
  6. Do you like Dr. Pepper or Root Beer?
  7. What is your favorite subject?
  8. If me and your mom fall into the water, who would you save first?
  9. Do you want to hangout?
  10. How are you?

Nerdy Fun Fact of why you shouldn’t drink too much boba

The fructose in boba will be converted into “purines” during metabolism , and uric acid will be produced after decomposition. Under normal circumstances, uric acid will be excreted in urine. Once the drainage problem occurs, the crystallization will accumulate in the joints and bone tissue, causing inflammation, swelling pain. The more sugar intake and more , the level of uric acid can also be increased accordingly.

Photo Credit: The Good Place from Netflix

Lyrics i’m working on

I’m Stress out

What I do will never workout

What I chose ain’t gonna workout

I just wanna scream out loud

I’m running out of air in this empty space

believe someone will save my life

I just wanna see the light

I’m all alone

Everything I have now is gone

Thought this feeling will never be long

Always believe I will find my goldstone

Tears drop

Cry out

Fall down

Break apart

I just want to be normal, not the way you see me

The voices in my head

The voices in my head

The voices in my head

The voices in my head

Photo Credit: Lofi Aesthetic

Fidgeting

I have ADHD, and a stereotypical symptom I experience is fidgeting.

The earliest ADHD symptom I can remember is fidgeting. Ever since kindergarten, I’ve bounced my legs under my desk. Sometimes it’s accompanied by finger-tapping. I remember having trouble doing mindfulness activities because I felt like I needed to move somehow.

In the past four years, I’ve started cracking my fingers. Every joint in my hand can pop because of the countless hours I’ve spent absentmindedly pulling and pushing on my knuckles. Sometimes, I do it so much that my hands are in horrible pain and I can barely move them.

I’ve been told various times that it’s annoying, that it’s disrespectful, or that I need to stop doing it. If I had a nickel for every time someone’s told me I’m going to have arthritis when I’m older, I would be rich.

However, I’ve never stopped. It’s not because I lack the ability to break bad habits, or because I hold a grudge against people who commented on it. It’s because most of the time, it doesn’t hurt me, but rather comforts me.

For people with ADHD, fidgeting is a way to expel the energy that our brain exponentially puts out. Fidgeting, while sometimes annoying to other people, is not something that should be repressed. It helps people with ADHD to cope with what happens in their brains.

Not fidgeting can make people with ADHD feel overwhelmed, and it makes us more prone to meltdowns. Fidgeting, when done in a non-harmful way, is a healthy behavior for people with ADHD.

I hope that this article helps people understand ADHD and its symptoms better. Remember to look out for your friends or family who have ADHD to make sure they’re taking care of themselves.

3 Ways to Help Fidgety Kids Sit Still - wikiHow
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What is our purpose?

What is our purpose? Why are WE here today? Is it to create, design, or to construct? Or might it be to get, give, or keep? Why do we act the way we act? Or talk the way we talk? Is our purpose to love; or to hate? To build just then to destroy. Why are some of use active in the morning while others don’t start till noon? Why are no two people exactly alike(and is that bad)? Why am I writing this; and why are you reading it? Do you ever sit wonder on what the world will be in 100 years or what is was 100 ago? Is our purpose to restore? Why are some of us rich and others poor? What is my purpose, and what is yours?

Photo from ukedchat.com

Learning to Fly Again

You gave me a purpose

when I didn’t believe.

You pulled me from the dirt,

kissed me, and forgave me.

You taught me to feel

and you stuck around

when no one would.

I guess you’ve been here all along.

You pushed me off; I thought I died.

But I didn’t.

I learned to fly.

I was just afraid of heights.

The time came; I was ready.

I smiled crying,

sank to my knees,

and forgave the hands that hurt me.

“Leap For Joy” by Emily Olson

trying to skate home

Lights blurred

red and blue flashes encompass your thinly sliced eyes

fighting to stay open and alive

the white Honda SUV sits untouched

perfectly parked and placed neatly on the side of the road

while you broken

lay on the chilled midnight street

your life strewn about for everyone to see

ribs shattered

your board broken

and you brain shaken to a pulp

while she talks

,cries,

her keys gripped in her hand, knowing she will get back in her car and drive away from this

while

you are ripped off the street like an old piece of unwanted gum on the bottom of a wooden school desk

because thats all you are in the world

in this down town San Diego life that’s what you are

poor with kids

now broken and poor with kids

ribs shattered as you wife sits at home

bouncing on her maternity ball

kids asleep

waiting for you to get home

instead you get your self fucking hit

will she be born in the hospital room next to yours

will you be ok?

god I hope you will be ok

I hope you will skate again

run and play with your kids again

live again


Photo credit-Alamy stock photo



Born Again

She is a woman

and who

by chance

was born a man

the mirror was simply inaccurate,

what she craved to see was a tall woman

a beautiful woman

slenderly wrapped in breasts and fragility,

the stubbled facial hair

the broad shoulders pulled together by biceps and chest muscles

was heart breaking,

and for a long time

too long of a time

all she felt was confusion she did not know why she hated herself

why she felt disgusted by her body

why she looked at herself and didn’t feel like she was actually looking at herself

it wasn’t until she was a teenager she broke free of her confusion

experimented with her happiness

broke social norms to find herself

she looks back now as a 24 year old,

as a tall beautiful woman

and feels remorse that she let herself suffer for so long because she did not search for what made her feel most herself

“Hormones to surgery to life style changes, the hardships and black holes of sadness and isolation made me who I am today. And baby, I am better than ever.”


Photo:Keith Rosen


Kiss of life

The fiery kiss of life

has been kissed, blessed, given to the earth since the beginning of time

every seed was kissed to grow, every drop kissed into the mighty river, every muscle kissed into movement

but humans

although kissed into the same existence come with a new fire

lit deep in their hearts that pours out their eyes into the world

is the fire of distraction

the fire of greed

their fire burns slow and hot

flames devour the creations so humbly kissed into this world

green Amazonian cities of sky-scraping trees are at war with blackened cities of humans

life is in a panic

as the humans see nothing in this world as anything more than a means for their own personal gain

a once tender and loving kiss, that once had no obligations to kiss anything into existence because life was thriving perfectly on its own,

has turned into a panic of passionate lips trying to save what has been damaged

life is hopelessly trying to combat human decimation

kiss their shackled creatures into freedom, their cut and fallen cities into existence once more, kiss their oceans clean and air fresh


Pollution and over using natural resources will be our downfall. The kiss of life will keep creatures walking their earth, but will we completely destroy it before it is reborn.

Photo credit: Pinterest

Seaside

by the sea she sits

watching the waves crash over and over again

her blank stare collided with the violent ocean movements

her fragile body sank into the warmed sand as the water slinked up the beach

desperately trying to touch her

next to her a book that reads Gone With The Wind laid on a small quilt

the checkered baby pink and faded lime green quilt also held an old fashioned film camera and a what seemed to be a collection of shells

at that moment I knew nothing about her accept she may possibly be a romantic due to the book

she interested me because she looked so unbelievably in place

she seemed to simply exist, without disrupting any of the everyday inhabitants, very quietly and naturally

above her seagulls circled in a draft

their wings sat almost as still as she did

she wore a white silk dress and a large scarf that wrapped around her whole upper body

then I see her hand lift and point out into the wide plane of water

she soon retracted her hand, probably remembering that there was no one to show what she had spotted

the water stood still and glassy all the way out to the horizon

I followed in the general direction her finger pointed and saw a large explosion of water, soon after there was another much smaller spout

my best guess is a humpback whale and her calf because it was around the time for their migration

soon after seeing the whale I picked up my things and walked down the beach in the opposite direction of the mysterious woman

hopefully you enjoyed a short glimpse into my outside perspective on an interesting stranger

found on Adobe Stock

Pressure of Life

Life is hard. Life is not fair. Life has many ups and downs, especially growing up.

Once you reach a certain age, responsibilities pile up and you are expected to become more self-reliant. The teenage years are rough- balancing school, friendships, and family life. Then add the prospects of mental health and relationships.

Mental health is really important and life could take a toll on one’s mental health. Anxiety due to school and other things. Depression or sadness due to life and the tolls that life brings onto someone.

photo credit: Medical News Today

Relationships, friendships, and romantic relationships are really hard to navigate during the teenage years. Finding a connection that works is hard, and is really important to keep one sane.

School is very stressful. Teachers and parents put pressure on students and kids to do well in school, so they can do well in life. Students and kids also put pressure on themselves to get into great colleges.

Life is full of ups and downs, full of scary and fun moments.