I am experiencing major writer’s block. This entire week I open my computer once or twice a day and try to think of something to write about. My mind feels completely and utterly blank. Then I realized that my mind has been blank for the entire week. I know this just makes me seem stupid. Hell, it makes me feel stupid. Sometimes I have the mindset that I can’t write something unless it’s “interesting” but then I go on to wonder what interesting really implies. Is it interesting to just be depressed, angry, or fill your life with gossip? It often starts to seem that way. I won’t pretend to be an angel as if I don’t get involved, I just hate when that starts to be the things I find interesting. The more I let myself get roped into all this shit the more I get sad. It’s all a cycle, you get sad because you get roped in and you get roped in because you have nothing else to think about. Then I realized what even is writer’s block? The idea of free writing is the ability to write whatever is on your mind. So I guess that’s what I’m doing. What I’m trying to say is that, more often than not, the things that happen in my life would not be viewed as interesting. But maybe that makes it easier to write about.
The other day I gave my speech for student council vice president. I wasn’t feeling nervous for like the entire day up until about five minutes before I was supposed to give my speech. I felt like I was gonna puke all over the place. Anyway, supposedly my speech was really good, I got a lot of compliments and people told me that they weren’t sure who to vote for until they heard my speech, and they decided that they would vote for me, so that’s pretty cool. I’m not really sure why people think it was so good, I mean I feel like it was a pretty mediocre speech and there were better ones that people didn’t really seem to pay attention to, but whatever the case I’m glad people liked it. I mean I really just talked about representing the Students and like putting them and their desires first and stuff, which I feel like is kinda basic stuff when it comes to Student Council. But whatever, people liked it and maybe I’ll win tomorrow, I guess we’ll see.
I have a job at a local bar, or pub, I guess. It’s got a bar but also has places to sit. Anyway, I’m a busser and the Host, which is kinda cool. I get $15 an hour plus tips every night, and I usually get like 10-20 bucks from each server and sometimes the bartender, so I end up going home with like 30ish dollars every night I work, which is two to three times a weekend. In addition to the 8-12 hours, give or take, I get another 60-90 dollars per weekend. It’s pretty good money, it pays for gas and car insurance and stuff. After a while, I’ll have a solid amount of money and that might help me when I go to college and stuff.
But, there are definitely downsides to working every weekend. For one, I don’t hang out with friends very often and I don’t really have a lot of time in general. I end up missing a lot of school events and things, and sometimes that kinda sucks you know? Sometimes it feels like I’m losing friends because I work so much, and It’s not exactly necessary for me to work, but I want to have a car and I need to work to have a car so here we are. Anyway, I’m gonna quit at the beginning of next summer so I can have one more summer where I do whatever I want so I guess I’ll just look forward to that.
After this week, I have four weeks left. I don’t know how to describe my feelings, but it all just happened too fast. Because of the pandemic, I didn’t even feel like I’m a high schooler and I’m about to go to college. For half of my high school, I’ve been staying in my house and doing homework. During the other part of my high school life, I was still busy studying and getting ready for college. I wake up, study, gym, and sleep every single day. My high school year has been very different from my expectations. I thought those things that happen in high school movies are the things that are going to happen to me, but I guess it’s just a movie, right? Time flies by way too fast. It’s really hard for me to take it slow and enjoy the moment. Even the bad times I’ve been through are going so fast.
Yoooooo so Volleyball made CIF somehow, even though we’re like 5-4 in the league. But it’s gonna be lit. We leave at two in the afternoon and the game starts at six in the evening so that’s really cool. We’re gonna be back at like 11 or 12 or something crazy like that, which is so ass, but I’m still excited. It’s hopefully gonna be an incredible game and we’re all super excited. It’s like the culmination of everything we’ve worked for this whole sports season and we are not gonna go quietly. We all love Volleyball and are all beyond passionate about it and cannot wait for the game. Anyway, wish us luck because we are gonna need it.
When I was 4 years old, I lived away from my parents for the first time as I went to a boarding school for kindergarten. At the age of 11, I moved even further away, to a foreign country on the other side of the earth. Through living independently (not completely independent, I had to live with a host family or in a boarding school) at a relatively young age, I’ve experienced both positive and negative sides to it.
I can have a lot more freedom since my parents are far away, and I can do whatever I want in my free time. But this also brings the major downside— the loss of self-control. I always had a hard time with time management, and after I started to study abroad, the situation became worse. I didn’t know a lot of English, so I didn’t understand anything in class, I tried to take notes without knowing even what they meant, but it didn’t work, and I still can’t keep up with my class. Being the only Chinese student, the overwhelming foreign language and environment smacked me. I gave up doing any school work, resulting in a row of Fs on my transcript.
Although I don’t regret anything about my experience, my suggestion to parents who are considering sending their kids to another country is: to make sure their child knows what they are doing before sending them off to a place full of strangers.
So the AP Chem exam is coming up. May second, which is in like a week and a half and I am beyond screwed. The exam is so impossibly hard that a 44% is passing, you get a 3 for a 44% on the exam which is just crazy. We’re gonna have our class final exam sometime next week which is right before the AP exam, and hopefully, that will prepare me for the AP. I guess in the past the final exam for the class was a pretty good indicator of how you would do on the AP exam so I guess we’ll see how I do next week. I’ve been studying so much, like every night I have FRQ’s or multiple choice questions to do. We had a 54 page slideshow to work on over spring break, which I did ok on but that’s not a very good indicator of the AP exam. Now we have like 8 FRQ’s due on Monday and some of these FRQ’s have like 9 parts (a,b,c,d,e, etc) which is just a crazy amount of questions.
Yesterday, we had our second volleyball game against the Pilgrim School. The first time we played them it was at their court which was nice cause it was indoor and stuff, but this time it was a home game. Having it as a home game definitely makes a difference too. We have an outdoor grass court which is far different from an indoor court, you lose a lot of energy jumping on grass compared to jumping on a court, as the grass absorbs a ton of the power you put into the jump to go for a block or spike. Anyway, we did a lot better this time around than when we played them a month or two ago. We were playing our best then but our best was not very good, now we played our best and we held our own. The first time we played them we lost every set and only scored around 12 or 15 points in the three sets, but this time we were able to win two sets which were just awesome. We have never played like that before and we might not again, but honestly, I’m proud of what we did. This is the first year that our school has even had a boys volleyball team ever, and not a single one of us has ever played competitive volleyball in our entire lives. But man do we love it. I think it might be the favorite sports season we’ve had for most if not all of us even though we are probably not going to win the league like we have for the other two sports seasons. Despite our complete lack of experience, we have some incredible players that have held it down for the team in quite a few games. Anyway, next year we are going to beat Pilgrim for sure, we will all have more experience and since none of us are seniors, we will be playing with the same group of guys we have been playing with this year which means we won’t have to relearn the game and how we play with one another. Anyway, I love volleyball and I think our game against Pilgrim only reinforced that love for the sport.
Some say soccer is a beautiful game, but I beg to differ. For me, it’s four square.
This quarter, four square has taken our high school by storm. Yeah, you read that right, four square and high school in the same sentence. It is mainly played by the freshman, who isn’t the most mature bunch (ask anyone), but a small contingency of senior boys, myself included, also are driven to play. It’s probably because, like the freshman, we are not the most mature bunch.
We have created all types of rule sets: feet only, west coast no feet, and many more. Most of which came from one of the most magnificent minds of all time, (can’t say the name but it’s pretty great).
Each player uses their own rule set when they are king. The power of tailoring the rules to your strengths is intoxicating and keeps the players coming back. This forms them for square identity, with the only other factor being how much they argue and whine.
There is so much whining and arguing that goes on, it is plain to see how much these people care, even though most act like they don’t. When two players disagree on a call, it becomes a screaming match, with the mob of players itching to get back to the king square serving as a jury. If the jury grants it, a 1 v 1 starts, in which two players face off. The winner is usually the person who throws it at the other person’s shins first.
On April 1st, Mr. Floyd pranked the players, sending freshmen into what I can only explain as identity crises.
“This isn’t FAIR!” whined nearly all of them.
That dark day demonstrated how reliant these students are on four square. They truly care about a children’s game, as if it is the NBA. I have been punched, insulted, and jeered over it, and I am fine with it, it’s in the game.
I got a cold. It came on last week Thursday, with a dry throat. I suffered through two days of school, then went home, where it got much worse. I tried to hang out with a friend on Saturday and just felt horrible and fell asleep. I was in bed from then until Friday morning.
Being in bed all week actually gave me some much-needed rest and relaxation, but the looming stress of schoolwork hung over me, making it less enjoyable. I managed to get my work done, but I couldn’t turn a corner on my cold. I was, and still am stuffed up, even though I feel better now (Sunday).
I pushed myself to drive to school on Friday, an hour and forty-five-minute drive both ways which in retrospect I should not have attempted. I was still sick, so I woke up late, got to school late, went to two classes, and halfway through the third, decided to go home. I did take my important stats test and finalized a journalism story, but it wasn’t great.
In addition to my fatigue, I got denied from my top school, which sucked. I spent the weekend resting, which was great, and I hope to catch up on my work this week, slowly climbing up a mountain of papers, tests, and materials. 9 more weeks soldiers.