I’ve always wanted people to be afraid of hurting me. I put up a wall around myself. I hurt people before they can hurt me because I’m so afraid to be left or called out or cheated. In reality, I am the one who leaves and insults people and cheats. I want to be a good person and I want to make other people feel good. I wish I had the self-control just to be quiet sometimes. But I don’t. I’m loud and annoying and I take up more space than I should. I’ve wanted to be a better person since I was a little kid. Since my mom told me the reason I don’t have any friends is because I am so mean. She is right. My dad told me I was like him and I would have to learn to change my personality. I would hate myself if I met me. I want to be deserving of all the love I have, but I’m not. 

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