Month: October 2025

Sharing Snacks

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Woke up this Wednesday and I had an orthodontist appointment, I knew today we had no sports, so why not treat myself and prepare a lunch with some snacks for myself. So I grabbed my retainer case and headed to pack my lunch. I first grabbed two bars because I know my friend Jay will want one, so I grabbed one for him. I opened to fridge for a wild surprise of a premade sandwich that I instantly put into my Trader Joe’s lunchbox. (Shoutout Ms. Ruby u da goat fr) I also grabbed my Burt’s Bees chapstick for my chapped lips. (Shoutout Ms. Ruby u da goat for getting me da chapstick 2 fr) Then, finally, I got a big ziplock bag and jammed it full of red grapes, cold, crunchy, tasty red grapes. Delicious.

I then finally got to school, and when my friends Nola, Savannah, Bennett, and Leia saw my lunchbox, they grew brimful with curiosity about the contents encapsulated in my lunch pail. I opened and their jaws dropped at the sight of a bag overflowing with red grapes, cold, crunchy, tasty red grapes. Delicious. So I shared some of them, and I shared my Chapstick with Nola.

My shorts are untied, and my shirt kind of has a collar but also doesn’t, it’s weird. I’m also wearing white socks and some fuzzy slides. I’m sitting next to Bennett, too. Eat some grapes if you read this.

Hammer out.

PC: Google

First Semester Senior Year

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Credit: Google

I can’t believe it —they were right; it really does creep up. I swear it was only like yesterday that I had been dreading coming back for the final time. The drive, as excited as I was to see my friends, signaled my first step to the end of my high school career. Back then, it seemed I had eternity before the second semester even approached my vicinity. That time would move as slowly as a snail trying to get from one side of the garden to the other. 

But as time seemed to pass me by these couple of months, I realized I’d kept myself busy enough not to notice the approach of the end. As I wrap up my final season of volleyball, I remember this is it. Next year, I will be off to college, and all these fantastic people I know will be spread out either across the US or even the world.  

It baffles me that not that long ago, it was summer and I was dreading the long wait until the second semester, but now the saying “time waits for no one” really has meaning. I want time to wait, so I can continue to enjoy these little moments I have with my friend. The moments where we do nothing and everything, and still find ways to end up on the floor laughing. To the point where my side hurts and I have to yell, “Shut up, it actually hurts,” only to continue. It’s those moments that have made the first semester so memorable and have made me melancholic about the second semester.

Vacation or School?

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This week I’m writing from Mexico. The crystal blue ocean, the coarse seashell-filled sand, and the clear scorching skies surround me. I’m missing a few days of school to take this vacation, which has really got me thinking. As I splashed in the waves and sipped down cold, icy drinks, I had a realization. Right now, I could be sitting in class, sipping on stale water from the cafeteria, writing an essay about a book I’ll forget I even read in about a year. Sadness drapes over me like the heat of the sun when I think about the stress I’ll soon have to return to. I don’t want to go back to the boring, cold, and monotonous life that school induces. I sit here in Mexico, doing the same schoolwork I would be doing in class, but instead I’m outside, enjoying myself. I envy homeschooled kids who can do this all year round. Travel, be outside, be free, but still learning. Many kids claim that being homeschooled isn’t ideal because it’s difficult to make friends, but I think I’d be fine if I joined a few clubs or sports. Anyways, I’m not homeschooled nor will I be. For now, I’ll just be content knowing I’m not sitting in class and I have freedom for a few more days. When I’m back at school and sucked back into the dreaded lifestyle of a high school senior, just know, I’ll be wishing I was back in Mexico.

Picture Credit- Google

Be Your Own Coach

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The other day, as I was scrolling on TikTok, I came across a girl’s page, and I watched her pinned videos. I instantly got blasted back to last year when I was doing the exact same thing, and her words changed my mindset. Last year was not the best for me mentally. I had a lot of stuff going on in my personal life, and it was interfering with my relationships and academics. I would drown myself in my school work so I wouldn’t have to think about my life. One of my ways of distracting myself would be to spend hours upon hours on TikTok. It was one of these hours that I saw that girl’s video.

The gist of it was to be your own coach. She said to imagine that you are a coach, that is your whole purpose in life, and the only reason you are put on Earth. As a coach, you are stuck with one human from their birth until their death. You get to put thoughts in their head, make them do stuff, etc. As a coach, you don’t want to insult your human and make them feel bad; you want them to fulfill their life the best way they want. You are the coach to yourself.

This completely changed the way I talked to myself. I was so used to comparing myself to others who I thought accomplished so much more than I did, I forgot my purpose in life. I went from putting tons of pressure on myself to letting myself relax. It took some time for this adjustment to be fully implemented in my life, but when it did, I was doing so much better. Why would I be mean to myself? It is my first time on Earth, just like everyone else. When times get rough, I try to be the best coach I can be. The TikToker might’ve thought her video was just some dumb TikTok, but it genuinely helped me get out of a hard time in my life. I am so thankful for her.

credit: Pinterest

Fall

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Fall is one of my favorite seasons. The weather is perfect. It’s cold in the mornings and sometimes carries throughout the day. There is occasional rain and wind. Fall isn’t just a season; fall comes with a vibe that no other season can bring. The crisp air, pumpkin patches, and pumpkin-flavored drinks are my favorites. Nature transforms from green and vibrant to red, orange, and yellow, and everything becomes cozy. Fall is great, but there are some things I don’t like. Losing an hour is not something I like. Also, everything is so dry because of how cold the air is. Along with that, my summer shade has gone away, and I am now white. My concealer is too orange for my face. Anyway, there are good and bad things about fall, but overall, the good outweighs the bad. I love how people act during the fall and the clothes that I get to where, and I can finally put a sweater on my dog.

Four Day Weekend

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This past weekend was a four-day weekend, meaning we had Friday and Monday off from school. I really needed this weekend, and I’m glad we had it. Since we have from the start of the school year up until thanksgiving break until we have any long breaks off, the weeks have been long. I always miss the weekend a little when school starts because it’s a nice break from using my brain. I have a feeling this week is gonna be hard to go back to because of our random 4 days off from school, even though it’s not that long, it’s still something. Every time school has some sort of time off, it’s frustrating to stay ahead in my classes because I don’t think about school or homework on breaks or weekends. This weekend gave me a chance to catch up with friends and not have to stress about my school situation, which brought me a better mood than usual. I felt more energized, and I got a lot done with the time I had free, and even though I did a lot this weekend, I still feel like I had enough time to relax as well. This weekend, I learned that I can’t let stress control my life, and I should be controlling it instead, and it made me realize not everything is a chore.

“Relaxed Man” by Bruce Mars/ CC0 1.0

Death

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The concept of death scares the life out of me to a deeper level. I want to be able to understand where we go after we completely lose consciousness. I don’t know why I am so interested in Death, but I think about it every night before bed. I’ll stare at my ceiling and think Who am I? Am I living in a simulation? Are we people around me even real? Or is it my world that everyone else is living in?

The concept of Heaven and Hell might be real, but for some reason, I don’t believe it. I believe that it is a concept created by humans over time. How do we know if there is a heaven or a hell if we have never died? There are so many questions I have, but I can’t answer until I experience it myself. Of course, I don’t want to die; I just want to know how the afterlife works. Do we immediately get reincarnated?

I’ve read articles online, I’ve talked to people, and somehow still can’t seem to understand. Obviously, humans were never meant to think about death. But are the concepts of Heaven and hell supposed to make us forget about the fact of death? Or keep us in a safe headspace, to where we think we know we are going in the afterlife.

“Free angel sculpture image“/ CC0 1.0

Losing Myself in Social Media

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I find procrastination to be my greatest weakness. I am easily susceptible to distractions that provide a sense of comfort and escape from my responsibilities. Thus, over the last couple of months, I have been actively working to diminish the effects of procrastination on my ability to be productive: I would listen to white noise, go to cafes, and distance myself from people who I thought would hinder my focus.

However, upon checking my screen time hours, I was dumbfounded to see that I spend 2-3 hours on social media applications daily. I initially didn’t know how this could be true, as I didn’t feel as though I had been spending so much time on social media. But that is how social media tricks you.

Short scrolls of videos feel so quick and condensed that it is hard to imagine they take up a significant amount of time. But the number of times I would pick up my phone for short scrolling sessions throughout the day would add up to the point where I would be spending more time on platforms with short scrolling videos, such as Instagram or TikTok, than on platforms with longer content, such as YouTube or Netflix.

In the 2-3 daily hours spent scrolling, I could watch a full movie or complete my homework. Yet, I find myself mindlessly consuming insignificant content that I end up quickly forgetting anyway.

Moving forward, I will aim to reduce my time on social media platforms significantly, as I fear that with this current trajectory, I will waste so much time I could be spending in the real world working towards my goals in hobbies or academics. Specifically, I will implement time limits or remove social media applications from my devices entirely. Because a platform designed to bring people together shouldn’t be keeping me isolated from the rest of the world.

Adolescents must confront the challenges of social media dependency – King Street Chronicle

Picture Credit: Google

Christmas

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Photo Credit: Google

It’s almost that time of the year. When the air begins to get a chill and the days get shorter. The smell of all things jolly and bright begins to fill the air, from glistening red, green, and blue lights to green wreaths with big red bows hung from door to door.  It’s that time of year, Christmas.

The holiday some people begin celebrating at midnight on November 30th. Some people forget Thanksgiving as a whole and celebrate only the abundant food prepared. As it nears December, I can’t help but feel a slight melancholy amongst the sheer amount of joy, as this will mark my last Christmas as a child. Through the melancholy, I remember that since it’s my last, I have to make it count.  I can not be shy about asking for the things I really want, because it may be my last before I’m encouraged to give myself gifts. Even so, I can’t stop the jolly feeling of the approaching holiday.

Live In Denver

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This past weekend, Panic! At The Disco played at the When We Were Young Festival in Las Vegas, the same one I had gone to the year before to see My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy. The reason why I didn’t go this year was that it was my friend’s birthday, and I had already seen the main headliners (P!atD and Blink-182), and because tickets were a bajillion dollars, like how they are every year. It was fine to me until I saw videos of the concert.

Now, I had never been a Panic! At The Disco superfan, but you kinda have to whenever you’re into the prominent 2000s emo music bands that influenced each other (examples – MCR, Fall Out Boy, AFI, New Found Glory, Jimmy Eat World, and The Used), especially ones that are intertwined with songs about each other. So, of course, I know some history of the band, such as Ryan Ross (guitarist) falling off the face of the earth along with Spencer Smith (drummer), the downfall of Brendon Urie (singer and pianist), and other random drama that had happened with the band that made them very 50/50 hated and loved among the emo community.

But what about the set of the WWWWYF show? The same one as Live in Denver in 2006. The massive glowing sign that was behind them, the extra performers, it’s almost like the same thing, except for some of the original members being gone, except for Brendon, and later to be shown, Spencer.

Along with performing all of ‘A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out’ and a few other songs, they released an HD performance of Live in Denver on their YouTube channel, with a new tour.

It’s funny because I had seen them before they broke up for the fifteenth billionth time. Time to blow a crap ton of money on tickets. Anything for A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out.

I.C. – Biri182 (Youtube)