I never would have been able to imagine someone making me this happy. The little things he does makes me happier than anyone else’s little things has ever done.
Listening to the dumbest songs in his truck and watching him sing them and just act like a dork makes me smile so much my mouth hurts. Just sitting next to him makes me happy.
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He does sweet, small things which add up and make me feel so happy and he is actually happy to be with me.
He always opens doors for me, picks me up, and takes me out. He treats me with respect and takes care of me. I almost never pay for anything myself and he just makes me incredibly happy with the conversations we have.
On Saturday, he told me that after he washed his truck, he found something weird in the mud. I never would have imagined that someone writing out prom with mud would make me so happy.
Even when I just go to his house and watch TV with his family and him, I am happy. I love spending time with him and I love the girl’s days I have with his mom and his younger sister.
I am so lucky to be with him. He is so sweet to me and I feel like I don’t deserve him and the way he treats me. I haven’t felt this love and appreciation since my dad died. It sounds weird, but he was the only person in my life who showed how much he cared about me until I met him.
I know he was hurt in the past and I hope he knows I could never do that to him. I, also, hope that I make him feel as special and happy as he makes me.
It’s something we all do, but it seems as though no one talks about it. There’s no step-by-step books, no instructions. Nothing to guide you, nobody that tells you exactly what to do. Yet, everyone acts like they know everything.
No one admits that they mess up, that they don’t know what to do or that they are grasping at straws like the rest of us. It’s scary to admit I don’t know what I am doing because I feel as though I’ll be standing alone.
I’m scared that in August I will be living on my own. I’m scared of being on the other side of the country from my mom. I’m scared of having to figure most things out on my own.
I’m also so excited to start my life. I’m excited to be in control of what I do. Most of all, I am excited to show the world who I am and see where it takes me.
I wanna talk to someone, but I’m scared. I have brought it up to a few people, but they’re not the ones I want to talk to. But, I don’t know how to talk to you. I don’t know how to tell you what I’m feeling; I don’t really know what I am even feeling. But, I know it’s dumb. I don’t care if you hang out with your friends, but yesterday was a bad day so it annoyed me more than it ever should have. I don’t care if I see you later on Saturday, I don’t know why it made me upset.
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Clearly, Saturday really isn’t the thing that is getting to me. But, I don’t really know what is getting to me. I honestly just miss you and hate how hard it is to see you. Also, I’m starting to develop real feelings, which I have been scared of, and have been trying to stay away from since last year. I don’t want to push you away, but I am scared I am going to subconsciously do that.
I have no clue how to bring this up and actually say this to you and I know my hints are too subtle, but I know you’ve read a couple of my blog posts, so hopefully, you’ll read this and understand it.
Yes, people have different opinions, but why does that make them a monster?
I am so tired of having people hate me for my beliefs.
I am tired of losing friends because of my political party.
I feel as though the side that is supposed to be the most accepting is the side I feel the most attacked by.
I want to be able to have civil conversations and hear other people’s ideas, but I feel as though those conversations are hard to have. The last time I tried to have a conversation with a friend that had different beliefs than me, she started to become distant and our friendship started to fizzle away.
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The side that wants everyone to be comfortable and happy has made me scared to have a different opinion, but I am no longer going to keep my ideas hidden. I am a young female Republican who is tired of acting like she isn’t. I know some people won’t be happy about my beliefs, but I am tired of caring and it is something I want people to know now.
I know that I go to a liberal school and everyone in my journalism class is liberal and I am not trying to offend anyone, but I am just tired of keeping quiet.
Recently I got a tattoo and everyone has been wondering what it is or why I got it. I haven’t explained it to many people because I just haven’t had time to fully explain it. There are so many things someone must know to understand why I got that tattoo. It is not something simple to me. I mean I planned it for 8 years, so what can you expect?
When I was very young, around the age of 4, I took father and daughter guitar lessons with my dad. I don’t really remember the classes, but one day has always stood out to me more than others. My dad and I went to the class, then went to the fair after. We got mint chocolate chip ice cream and I just loved spending the day with my dad. The main focus of the day was music, but that was most days for us.
Another really strong memory I have with my dad is painting with watercolors. We painted together so many times that I don’t have just one day I can recall. All I remember is painting with him.
He was very artistic. In fact, I think that I got my artistic side from him. We used to always jam out to “Iron Man” by Black Sabbath in his car and look at nature together. We always talked about how beautiful nature was. Our favorite colors were green and blue because they were always in nature and we both had beautiful blue eyes.
In 2011, God decided that it was time for my dad to go home. I tried to follow him multiple times, but luckily I failed.
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Now that I got the background information out of the way, I think I can actually explain my tattoo.
My tattoo is a black bass and treble clef that resemble a heart with blue, green, and purple watercolors behind it on my forearm. It sounds simple, but it really isn’t.
I have known since I was 10 I wanted a heart for my dad but I did not know what kind. I decided that when I saw the music heart that I knew it was perfect. I feel most connected to him through any sort of art.
The bass clef has low notes in music while the treble has high notes. This is to remind me that there are lows in life, but there are also highs.
The bass clef normally has a colon at the end, but I decided to make it a semicolon because there is a very famous project known as The Semicolon Project, which raises awareness for suicide victims and survivors. After my father passed, I thought I could not handle life without him, but I can and the semicolon is a reminder that I can.
The watercolors in the back are not just cool colors to me. Whenever I see blue and green together, I always think of my dad so I thought they were the only fitting colors to have. I added purple as a sort of transition color.
The reason I am calling them watercolors is because they look like splashes of watercolors. The reason I added them was not just for a pop of color. It was because some of the best memories I have of him are when we were painting together and most the time we used watercolors.
The placement is not random either. I know to some people it is dumb to have a tattoo so visible, but I do not care. It is visible in most dresses, but I want it that way. My father cannot walk me down the aisle so having the tattoo on my arm out in the open is the closest I will ever get.
I have a family friend who is staying with me over the holidays and she has a young son who still believes in Santa. He was scared I didn’t believe in Santa, so my mom told him that I still believed in Santa. He said that if I didn’t write a list I wouldn’t get any presents from him, so I had to write out a list and send it to my mom so he could see it. It was fun to write, so I thought I would share it:
Dear Santa,
This year for Christmas I want a dirt bike, tall boots, more riding gear, new earrings, clothes from American Eagle, a car wash, buckeyes, new tires, new rims, stuff for my car, a Kat Von D contour palate, a snowboard, plane tickets to Tennessee, squared toe boots, clutch/gas socks, anything car related, and CD’s for my car.
OVS Journalism Blog 
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