Remember who you are!

leapingwaterLeave a comment

Hello whoever is reading this. You are alive. You are in a body that is working to support you. There is so much here for you to enjoy on this planet. Small things like that smell of cookies coming out of the oven, and big things like your future marriage (wink wink), or not.. if that isn’t your vibe…

You have more hikes to go on, and more sights to see! You have languages to learn, and foods to eat that you have never even tasted before! You have arguments to have and lessons to learn. You have cats to pet and birds to listen to sing outside of your window as you wake up in the morning. You have coffee to enjoy or continue to wait to find out if it really tastes good or not. You have rooms to decorate, and candles to light! You have stories to tell and songs to sing. You have people to tell you love them again and again and for them to say it back. You have hugs to give and adventures to go on. You have silly gifts you need to buy for your friends and photos to take. You have jokes to tell that will make you laugh until your stomach physically aches. You have a world with endless opportunities ahead of you. You just have to reach out and grab them for yourself.

There is so much for you here so don’t go anywhere yet!!! There is so much left to discover! Remember who you are and don’t forget it. You have no idea the effect you have on other peoples lives and all of the days you will continue to brighten.

pc:https://i.pinimg.com/564x/f8/05/b4/f805b4805eddbbdf404e6e4e083b8978.jpg

Intro to thinking about college.

justthatonegirllLeave a comment

I know the stress of college will expand as I get closer to college applications. It is only the beginning, and I am stuck in a back-and-forth comparison on whether or not colleges will think I am worthy enough. I am scared I will make the wrong decision. What if I am not qualified enough to be apart of the career I want? What if I hate the major I choose? I have known what I have wanted to be and do since middle school. I know I will make the right decision but it is so scary. What if I hate the location of where I decide to attend? What if my roommate is terrible? All of these a fears of the common student looking into colleges. I have so many questions, some have answers and some I won’t know until I get to that point in my life. What if I fall in love with a college and it matches my life long goal, but I am rejected? How will I feel? How will this impact my final decision. Currently I am stressed about what teachers write the best, who likes me the most, who knows me for who I am and will write something that matches me in the most authentic way. Any slip in my studying and I can mess up everything. Not enough community service and I won’t be an option next to another applicant. What colleges will I feel safe at? What is the crime rate in this area? My stress levels rise as I see the crime rates of an area I felt so safe in. I turn around and feel the shivers, will I be safe without my family around me? Will I even want my family close to me? Do I want to experience something new, something out of my comfort zone? I feel so young, but I am so close to adulthood. The steps to college are scary and stressful. I have so many doubts but I am so excited. I can’t wait to leave the town I live in and experience something purely for me. So many fears to face, but so many opportunities elsewhere. I know I am ready, but the fear inside of me is holding me back. How do I block out the voice in my head telling me I won’t make it. How do I remember to focus on the voice telling me about the amazing life I want for myself and the things I want to create with that? I know I am not the only one thinking about these topics, and I know I won’t be the last. The application process is a repetitive cycle of teenages wondering if we are capable of what we want for ourselves, but what we make of the process is what will determine the future we will have.

Summer

godgoldngloryLeave a comment

I am literally so excited for summer. I am not even doing anything that exciting, to be honest, but I am just really looking forward to not being in school. I am, of course, going to miss my friends, but I will see my friends back at home that I do not get to see as much anymore with always being at school, which is really nice. It will also be the best because I will be finally getting my much overdue license, so hanging out with people will be ten times easier. My job will probably take up a lot of time, but it is good that I am working because I am very much getting broke after using up all of the money I made last summer and not supplementing it at all with any new income. I might do some traveling to Laguna Beach, considering my grandma has a house down there, but I am not sure yet. I am also going to a TV Girl concert in L.A. during June which will be pretty fun, but that is about it. Mostly, I am just excited to not have classes and work, being a burnt-out junior who is not looking forward to another year of classes before I graduate. Also, the college application process will be really annoying, but we don’t have to think about that right now…

Summer Word Stock Illustrations – 42,303 Summer Word Stock Illustrations, Vectors & Clipart - Dreamstime

PC: https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/cartoon-sun-summer-word-white-54979088.jpg

Why is the Weather Like This

godgoldngloryLeave a comment

It’s literally so annoying how one second the weather is so hot, and summer feels like it is around the corner, and then the next second it feels like I am in the middle of arctic lands on my way to the North Pole. Day by day, and literally even down to hour by hour, the weather will change to randomly be almost 20 degrees hotter or colder. I guess that is just part of it being spring, but I still do not like it. The springs where I live are kinda nonexistent. It really just transitions from winter right into summer around the time of April or even May some years where it is still snowing. Last year was so fun because it literally still snowed in June, which was crazy. It was the biggest winter we have had in literally so long – I think it was the second biggest winter ever. Anyway, I still think the weather truly needs to make up its mind. Rain and fog are some of my favorite types of weather, and I really hate the heat, but I would honestly rather it be hot every day consistently because then I would know how to dress and what to expect. Thank you for listening to me complain.

Editorial Cartoon U.S. extreme weather texas | The Week

PC: https://cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.net/8vLpoT9WJc37xRkvzFnUFM.jpg

Fate

purcyLeave a comment

I always wonder if fate is real. It helps to just say that everything happens for a reason, but what if it doesn’t. What if everything just happens at random. I wonder if it’s really random who dies early and who dies of old age. It could be that there is a God, and he calls certain people home early. I don’t know if I believe in God because it’s hard for me to have faith. It’s hard for me to spend time devoting myself to something that could be made up. I don’t understand the concept of death. I don’t understand how I will one day just not exist, that my brain will just shut down. I like to believe in past lives and to think that we go on all different types of Journeys in different forms, but I try to think where I was before my birth and I just did not exist. I don’t remember anything before a couple flashbacks when I was really young. I don’t understand the concept of growing up or that everyone else is growing up around me. I  I’m doing a research paper on Emily Dickinson right now, and it has made me wonder, how could someone who was so afraid of death have died so long ago. I wonder what she knows now that we don’t. Did her fears become reality?

Summer

kittenqueen3Leave a comment

Summer is so close yet it feels so far. I am writing this blog on April 22 and there is only 26 more school days. until summer. At my school, we have a six-day rotating schedule and there is only 3 more cycles which means there are only 3 more long blocks of each class. It is sad how much that motivates me I hate long blocks sitting in the same class for 85 minutes gets very boring very quickly. I have a very short attention span and I get bored very easily. Anyway back to the point, I can not wait for summer basically a week after I get out for summer I am going to Florida with some of my friends. I’m beyond excited about that and after that trip, I’ll be home for a few weeks. In early July I’m going to Europe for a month to see the Olympics and visit my step moms daily in Tuscany.

PC:”Rome Italy” by Travel Coffee Book/ CC0 1.0

FruitFruitFruit

justthatonegirllLeave a comment

I love fruit so much. I love that after a dip in the pool on a hot summer day, I get to take a bite of the freshest ice, cold piece of fruit. Fruit is just like amazing. You can make fruit into anything basically. You could make fruit a snack, a dessert, a drink, and literally so much more. I don’t think people understand the perfection that comes from one fruit. Fruit is honestly the food of happiness, think, fruit is colorful and juicy with a great taste. The only thing I cant decide on is what kind of fruit is my favorite. I really love watermelon, but then I think about a strawberry, and like OMG mangos at the perfect ripeness is like the best gift a person could ask for. I remember this one time when I was in Mexico, on a vacation, I would eat at least 8 mangos a day. The fact of the matter is fruit is the best and everyone should love it! Also fruit is so healthy for you!

PC:Me

Update

justthatonegirllLeave a comment

I have been procrastinating so much this month. The week before break I could not get any work done at all. This past week I procrastinated up to the day of my camping trip. Currently, I am procrastinating because I am just so tired. My goal is to try and finish everything I need to get done. Well that’s probably everyone who is in the same situation as me. I usually don’t procrastinate. I think I need summer. At this point my blogs are the rants that re on repeat in my head. I am also just so busy. But I have been trying to get to bed at more reasonable hours. Two nights ago I went to bed at 9:30 from exhaustion, and last night I went to sleep at 10. Those times are so unusual because I normally go to sleep at like 12 or 1 am. Another thing I have started to realize more recently is my room is never clean enough for me. I will clean it but still feel like there is clutter. Maybe I need to get rid of some stuff. I guess the dead flowers sitting across from me right now are not helping the situation. Anyways there’s my quick rant. Bye.

pc: me

Sleep Deprived

uwucutiepatootieLeave a comment

I have gotten so little sleep this year and it has truly caught up to me. even when I do spend one night sleeping a lot, it doesn’t help at all. I never feel energetic anymore and all I ever want to do is nap. I have procrastinated a lot with my homework this year, leading to starting my homework really late. Now, I still procrastinate with my homework but fall asleep accidentally without doing it. I can barley even stay awake in class, and during the day I always need to take naps. Not only do I always feel exhausted, but I always feel exhausted but I always feel exhausted. I look like I have two black eyes. I need it to be summer immediately so I can pull myself together again. My lack of sleep is also leading to me always feeling sick and I need to fix my health. There is only one more month of sleep deprivation until summer when I can sleep all day.

“sleeping in bed” by NappyStock/ CC0 1.0

Lazy

uwucutiepatootieLeave a comment

Lately, I have noticed that I have been struggling with doing anything. I can’t do my homework, clean, or even stay up. I am incapable of getting anything done and I am exhausted. I have so much work to catch up on and its terrifying. I have no clue whats going on in any of my classes and I don’t even know how to start catching up. There is only one month left in the school year and now is the time to lock in, but I can’t. The only thing I am able to do with my time is go on my phone and watch TV. I used to be super organized with scheduling my homework for the week but now I assume what work I have and don’t even check the school website. Because I’m already so behind on my schoolwork, I don’t even want to think about it, so less and less work is being done. This week I need to lock in and stop being so lazy.

“Sleeping Bed” by elizabeth lies/ CC0 1.0