Changing Perspectives

It’s crazy to me how fast your perspective on life can change. Over the last four months, I feel like I have learned so much about myself and the world around me. I was always the type of person who felt like they needed someone, whether romantically or platonically. I would always complain about not having a boyfriend or feeling alone, but I came to realize that being alone is ok, infact it is normal. How can you be with someone else, whether a friendship or relationship, if you don’t fully understand yourself and are confident being alone? Over the past few months, I’ve grown to spend that time alone and enjoy it. Especially when driving alone, having that moment singing your favorite song on your playlist while zoning out on the road is such a freeing feeling. You lose your sense of worries and pressures; no one to put energy into but yourself. I learned to realize that while I love being with my friends, it’s ok to have those moments alone. I haven’t found myself feeling that loneliness much anymore or saying how I need a boyfriend because I don’t. I think that I used to say all those things because I felt so behind everyone. But truly, I wasn’t; everything happens at the right time for their person, and there’s no rushing that or even a need to. Being “behind” in your firsts as a teenager can feel so degrading, but really it doesn’t matter. No one should look at you or treat you differently because it doesn’t matter; it isn’t something that should define you. So yes, even though I don’t feel that “behind” feeling anymore, I learned to realize I never was, and all of that stuff shouldn’t define you. All of us humans are worth so much more because of who we are, not what we have done. 

Silhouette Man Sitting Alone On Beach Stock Footage Video (100%  Royalty-free) 1022546908 | Shutterstock
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Independent sport

Switching from a school sport to independent PE has honestly made my life so much easier. I started doing independent Lagree, and I didn’t realize how much time a school sport was taking up until I wasn’t doing one anymore. I used to have practices after all of my classes, which for me meant getting home later, having less time for homework, and basically having my whole afternoon planned around my sport. Now, I have way more freedom with my schedule.

The biggest difference is definitely how much free time I have every day. Instead of going straight from ending classes to school sports for 2 hours, I can go home, get ready for Lagree, hang out with my friends, do homework, and still have time to do nothing for once. I don’t have to worry about rushing through everything because I know I have a certain time for my workout class. I can actually go to school without having to worry if I have a game after school that also requires me to leave early and miss class time. I also like that my independent sport is actually a workout that I know is good for me.

I also like being able to choose when I work out. With Lagree, I can schedule classes in advance instead of having my schedule built around my school sports. If I have a lot of homework that day, I can just plan around that, and if I have plans after school, I can go to a different class; it’s just a lot more convenient. I always hear people on sports teams talking about how late they got home, and it makes me so glad I’m not doing that anymore.

Home - Reform Room Lagree

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Documentaries

As a kid, if you asked me whether I would rather watch SpongeBob or a documentary on ancient civilizations, unlike most children, I would have said the documentary. I loved documentaries as a kid, specifically on ancient history or endangered animals. I can’t exactly explain why; I guess I liked to learn, along with the fact that I had a probably unhealthy obsession with ancient Egypt for an 8-year-old. I still, to this day, could tell you the step-by-step process for mummification as well as the amazing technology they had for their time. I could probably also still recall the reasons that the Northern White Rhino is critically endangered, or how whales evolved. Part of me wishes I still had this same urge to learn as I did when I was a kid. It’s not that I don’t like learning now, but it all feels too rehearsed and processed; it’s like it’s only taught to us to give us a grade and move us to the next level of the school system, and not because they want us to actually be entertained and invested. I hope one day I want to learn the same way I did when I was a kid, when I believed I could be anything and do anything.

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Friends in College

Val is living her best life. Val is studying abroad in Paris and traveling to different countries every other weekend. Val couldn’t be more excited to go to her dream college in the second semester. But I miss Val. I miss hanging out with her every day after school, going to Pilates, getting lobster rolls in Malibu, and going to watch the sunset at Lake Casitas until it’s so late our moms are calling us. I miss all of the fun adventures she would surprise me with, always having something to look forward to. I miss lying in Val’s room giggling with her about dumb TikToks, or having dinner at her house almost every night to the point where her family felt like my family.

Writing this blog makes me emotional because I’ve never experienced one of my best friends leaving and starting a whole new life, knowing nothing will ever be the same. I love my friends; they distract me from thinking about it, but it’s on those late-night drives home where I put on music we used to listen to and just burst into tears. Sometimes I feel like I’m being too dramatic about it but I really miss Val.

I feel like she has helped shape the person I am today. I do not know what I would do if I had never met Val. We’ve had our ups and downs like every other friendship, but we’ve always gotten through them positively. Right now, it’s hard to stay in contact with her because of the time change in Paris. But I still know that even if we don’t talk everyday the minute we see each other in person, everything will still feel the same.

“Friends Hugging” by Helena Lopes/ CC0 1.0