Losing a Friend

uwucutiepatootieLeave a comment

Over the past couple months, I have watched me and my best friend that I have known since I was four drift away. We have been there for each other for so long and she was like a sister to me. Since last year, I have watched the traits I loved about her start to fade. We used to talk to each other everyday and see each other every weekend but she seems to never have time to talk and whenever I ask her to hangout its always a maybe instead of a yes. When I do see her which is typically only once a month, she calls her other friends the whole time and shows a lack of interest in my life. I had a talk with her about it a couple months ago, but nothing seemed to change. A week ago, I texted her in the nicest way possible telling her how I felt. She took two days to respond when in her apology she made excuses the whole time instead of owning up to it. I deceided to ask her to take a break from our friendship which is something I thought would never happen. Ever since I have stopped speaking to her, I haven’t even noticed a change in my life. I considered her my closest friend but I didn’t even notice how far we really drifted.

“Girls Friends” by Julia Caesar/ CC0 1.0

Even if it’s hard.

urmom8beanLeave a comment

You have to keep going even if it’s hard.

You have to push through. Finish school and get into college. Everyone talks about how hard Senior year is but I never imagined it would be this hard. I’ve had plenty of juniors and underclassmen telling me they have “senioritis”, and I remember saying the exact same thing when I was their age. Now I know how terribly wrong I was.

It’s F****** hard (please excuse my language)

I don’t know if this is just me, but everything is hard. Getting up, god it’s so hard not to take a sick day every day. Getting ready, doing skin care, taking care of myself, and even getting dressed comes with its daily sighs.

The hardest thing to do is work. I open the document it’s up on my computer, and stays that way from 7 to 1-2 in the morning. That is when the crisis begins It is 1 am already late so I just go to sleep, but I haven’t done anything so I should work and get a little done at least. Eventually between the worrying, overthinking, and the guilt I pass out around 3-4 feeling super guilty for not doing anything and not going to bed earlier. The next thing I know I’m 3 blog posts, 1 essay, and a whole bunch of emails behind. Luckily I’m not the only one not doing anything and I think the teachers understand to a certain extent.

It’s hard but I have to keep going, meaning I can’t stop now, meaning I have to do it. I will do it no matter what. Because no matter how hard it is I only have 4 more weeks left of my senior year. 4 more weeks left with my best friends, 4 more weeks of struggle. I can do it I have to for him. DEP SSP te amo<3

The Magic of the Hummingbird – Spiritus Arcanum
PC: https://spiritusarcanum.com/blogs/news/the-magic-of-the-hummingbird

My summer plan

graypenguinLeave a comment

With only six weeks left until summer vacation, this school year seems to be coming to an end in a flash. It is hard to believe that summer is just around the corner, especially this year!This summer vacation is going to be one of the most important and busiest summer vacations I have ever had. There are many things I want to do, but the biggest thing I want to do first is to prepare for my college applications. As part of that, I plan to work as a golf caddy and as a kayaking and snorkeling tour guide in Okinawa, just like I worked last summer. I am really looking forward to earning my own money and buying the things I want. I also need to prepare for the TOEFL test, and in terms of vacations, I am looking forward to going out to Tokyo and Osaka to meet friends and travel with my family. I think this summer will be a good opportunity for me to grow a lot, so I want to spend my time in a meaningful way.

pc;https://www.unoriginalmom.com/free-printable-weekly-summer-activity-plan/

Being Clumsy

leapingwaterLeave a comment

Being clumsy might be funny but it isn’t fun. Like I will literally crash into things all day long and get bruises and I won’t even know where they come from or realize I got them in that moment. To be honest, it’s frustrating, and I haven’t always been a clumsy person. It’s like- the more you get in your own head about it, the more clumsy you become. For example, if I’m carrying a lot of things, I think to myself, “Don’t drop them. Don’t drop them” and then guess what. I drop them. This is super embarrassing, but one time I was bringing out glasses to my parents and guests at a get-together at my house, and I tripped over the sliding door, shattering a few of the glasses. In front of everyone. It was not fun. I envy people who can do things so naturally with ease and not mess up. Maybe one day!

pc:https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/full-body-photo-young-clumsy-600nw-2260331251.jpg

Sitting on the rock under the oak tree

poofypuffyLeave a comment

I just noticed how nice the air smells. I think it is the smell of orange blossoms from outside the school gate. The wind is bringing the sweet flowery smell up the hill. I can hear the creek flowing. It is the sound of a hundred little crashing splashes overlapping into a constant white noise. I thought to write a thousand, but I feel the creek is small to be thrashing that much. The rock I’m sitting on is cold, but my cheeks are warm. As I write this, a wind is blowing across my face as if to cool it down. I am grateful for all this sweetness. The wind silently moves the leaves in the trees in a way that the trees don’t move so much as breathe, change. 

I don’t often appreciate things this way, but I wish I did. For some reason, I can only see the things in front of my face when I’m forced to consciously decide to. So many things in our modern lives are made to tune things out, and when the smothering noise fades, it’s easier to stuff our ears with cotton or pick up cymbals than to process the unpredictable or unpleasant.

Picture Credit: The Editorial Board of the University Society Boys and Girls Bookshelf (New York, NY: The University Society, 1920)

Caffeine

graypenguinLeave a comment

Caffeine is especially necessary during final exam week. However, I don’t wake up after drinking energy drinks from certain companies. This interferes with my school life. I usually drink coffee when I want to wake myself up, but it is almost more of a way to convince myself mentally that it’s working. As a matter of fact my mother also drinks nearly 10 cups of coffee a day because caffeine doesn’t work for her. Nervous people are characteristically sensitive to caffeine. Caffeine has an effect on the autonomic nervous system. It seems that not only Japanese people but also asian people are strong to caffeine in coffee. However, white people are weaker. Decaffeinated coffee is sold in about 50 times more varieties than in Japan. These are similar to the feeling that white are more resistant to alcohol than Japanese. To be honest, I don’t usually feel the need for caffeine, but I often wish I had something to wake me up when I want to sleep.

pc;https://thekitchencommunity.org/coffee-drinks/

Spring break

leapingwaterLeave a comment

Spring break is coming to a close! Sadly… although we do have approximately 49 days til summer which is wild. I’ve spent this break with my friends and family which is always refreshing as time off from my usual school environment. Fortunately, my birthday always falls on spring break, and for these past two years I will have spent it with my friend who has the same exact birthday as me! We’ve made it a goal to do something fun and “challenging” ish for the birthdays we spend together. It was my birthday today, and tomorrow, Saturday, I will hang out with a few of my friends and watch a movie with them. I’m really excited to have a few of my favorite friends all together. Anyway, again, I cannot believe how fast this year is going and I’m honestly super excited for the summer, even though I’ll miss my friends so much.

pc:https://media.istockphoto.com/id/511728248/photo/spring-easter-background.jpg?s=612×612&w=0&k=20&c=XzdMjDSGJ6WaqRxAYBPVB-4F_rl6T779TYgcpjv6yA8=

Nothing stops the blogs/ little things

progstenLeave a comment

The blogs are a once-a-week event that brings forth many emotions from those who write them.

Some can’t wait to begin another blog post to gossip about their favorite trend or share something in hopes that others will agree and validate what they are saying. Others can’t stand the weekly deadline looming over their heads, reminding them of the labor of schoolwork.

However, I think the blogs also show the power of routine and consistency. If getting an A in journalism was the ultimate goal, the blogs are the little things that push your grade forward. It might not be a majorly impactful thing like stories or the finals, but they slowly help bring your grade up, making up for any mistakes you make on the big things.

However, small things can be equally detrimental as they are helpful. When you stop doing the small things, they all add up and can affect your goal. As someone with two missing blogs, I can speak to this being very true, as it is dragging my grade down considerably, even though it was just two small things rather than two major assignments.

reguardless, I think this applies to all goals in life, as it’s the little things that you do every day that show when it counts. It can be applied to sports, such as basketball, where every practice shot you take makes the in-game shots that much easier. Or, in your relationships with friends, family, and romantic partners, all the little things add up to be often more important than the single big thing. The occasional text to your parents saying you appreciate them, a Facetime to your sibling, a small compliment to your friends, A random gift or message to your partner showing you care and appreciate them.

This isn’t saying only focus on the little things in life; rather than stressing over all the big things, take a moment and focus on the little things.

-Mr. Little

PC: https://kh.wiki.gallery/images/0/01/Chicken_Little_KHII.png

College

purcyLeave a comment

I just went on a college tour for spring break and it made me so excited to go to college. I learned so much about school life, Greek life, and sports and clubs. There’s literally so much to do and to get involved in and it’s not even like normal school because you get to pick what you study after the required classes. I’ve always felt like college was so far away but now I can see it in my future and I’m so excited. It’s finally becoming real and I only have like a year left until I go. Of course, I’m terrified that I won’t get in or that I won’t get into a college I like, but I really don’t wanna worry about that now. At least the equestrian coaches seemed to like me a lot. As long as I can ride, I’ll be happy there.

pc: https://lh7-us.googleusercontent.com/RakpGfLCcFr8x4XEddvwAJpaRSDaL8vHbY0L2RwO26wQ81-HVOz16dXjxiQ1iXlb1Voqnh46uupHappNl6pRAvBO5FTobXoZDCk4pQc2-658_2vHSbQwqIKvxowaNOVrP8R8vsbwBlyshtXWpey8IZI

You have to have faith,

urmom8beanLeave a comment

I don’t know what I believe. My family is catholic and my mother is SUPER religious so I’ve always had something to believe in. In reality, I’ve always struggled with faith. I believe in heaven I guess but it’s hard to believe something you can’t truly know about.

I have faith but lately, I’ve been struggling with it. People tell me what they believe is true but how would they know. Apparently people are visited by spirits and those spirits tell the they are okay and not hurting anymore but how am I supposed to believe that?

I really want to believe but how can I?

you have to have faith everything will go alright, but it didn’t. I had faith and in the end it betrayed me. The faith I had was lost because no matter how much faith I had in the end it didn’t change anything. how am I supposed to have faith when the one thing I had faith in isn’t here anymore?

this is very depressing but I’m not sure anyone really reads these anyway.

Growing in Faith: Building A Stronger Connection with God
PC: https://www.globaldisciples.ca/blog/growing-in-faith/