Homesick

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Imagine going from the tranquil flows of crystal-clear water, lush towering mountains, and uncultivated lands to a place like Ojai. Look, don’t get me wrong—Ojai has its beauty, tons of it at that—but there is this feeling that the air in Hawai‘i gives me. I’m not just talking about the sticky humidity; I’m talking about the feeling of being so disconnected from the world. Miles and miles of deep blue depth surround you entirely, yet you are safe on a tiny island—and alive, more alive than anywhere else.

I have traveled to many places in the world and seen the serene beauty of each diverse landscape, but nothing will ever compare to my home. I know every pothole in the road and every path to the ocean. Store owners have watched me grow up from behind a register, and first-time introductions are a rare occurrence.

There is always this tugging feeling, like you are never quite comfortable anywhere else, when you are inescapably tethered to an island. It’s hard to explain such a strange feeling to someone who has never lived there, but I believe it’s a feeling that will never fully go away.

pc – rumi

Evil Pringles

thehebrewhammerLeave a comment

Wednesday afternoon, Jay, Chloe, and me, sitting in the college counseling room, eating and rating 4 weird flavors of Pringles while creating art for the 2nd podcast episode for Hill Talk. We had ate and rated 3 chips already, nothing too terrible, but it was time for the last chip, Carnitas Taco, which originally we all had high hopes for. Chloe opened the can and smelt the chips and was instantly disgusted, I didn’t think much of it though. When we all got the chips, ‘cheersed’ them and ate we were all blown away. That had to have been the worst chip I have ever put in my mouth. Jay instantly gagged, Chloe threw half of her chip on the table and I instantly went for a piece of gum. Chloe said it tasted like cat pee and Jay said it feels like the type of thing you eat then brush your teeth and the flavor is still reminiscent in your mouth. Needless to say, Pringles is you read this, please mass produce the All Dressed flavor chips because those were a 10 and me and Jay HOUSED them, and please have an immediate recall on every Carnitas Taco Pringle can EVER. Now that I think about it, that distinct smell of beef is still in my nose and that weird and rancid taste is in my mouth. I need to brush my teeth with a broom and floss with some rope because I NEVER want to taste that taste again in my life.

pc: google

Shove Day

thehebrewhammerLeave a comment

Sunday. Normally, a day us high schoolers tends to not love so much, even though it is a weekend day, it really means doing homework and going to bed early for school the next day. But today, I had a great day.

I woke up early to go to the gym, came home, made myself a breakfast sandwich, showered, got dressed, and then headed off to UCSB. There was a baseball showcase at UCSB today, and I was fortunate enough to be in attendance as a PO (Pitcher Only). Fulfilling my dreams, I was as I got to go into the locker room, meet the players, meet the pitching coordinator, and pitch 2 innings on the field. I pitched very good, letting up no runs with 3 strikeouts and only 2 hits.

It was great meeting all the new faces, getting to talk 1on1 with the coaches, and becoming friends with division 1 athletes.

Afterwards, one of my long-time best friends was there, so we went to dinner. I got a salad with shrimp and avocado in it. It was okay.

But the good performance made the trip worth it and hopefully my dreams can come true in the next few years.

pc google

Volleyball

candystealer76Leave a comment

This year the volleyball team decided to do one big varsity team instead of varsity and junior varsity. I think it worked out okay because we all got closer to each other, and our team spirit was great. Every game, the players who weren’t playing would support by cheering loudly. Even though we didn’t win a game, I think we still tried our best and did the best we could. There were some downsides to having one big team. When we had away games, we couldn’t bring the whole team to travel with us, so we would have to leave some players behind. It set us off track a bit, but I think overall we worked well together. As the season went by, each one of us improved in one way or another, whether it was getting better at serving overhand, hitting, and even team spirit. A flaw we had this year was losing motivation when we had a bad play, but all it took was one motivational talk in our group huddle, and we were back at it. It was a fun season, and I think everyone tried their hardest to do well, even if we doubted ourselves.

“Volleyball blocking. September 2022“/ CC0 1.0

Drivers License

ackley4167Leave a comment

I’ve been waiting to get my license since before I can even remember. As soon as I turned 15 and a half, I immediately got my permit. When I failed the first time, it was really discouraging. But a week later, I retook the test and passed. As soon as I got my permit, I wanted to drive right away. I wasn’t aware that you were supposed to have lessons first to legally be able to drive. As soon as I got my lessons I begged my mom to drive everywhere.

My permit had been stolen from my mom’s car, and I had to do driver’s ed twice. So it hasn’t been the most positive journey, but I have gotten through all of the tough parts. The part that I am most stressed about is taking my actual license test and failing. Though more than half of people fail their first time I’m eager to drive and be on my own. I don’t know what it is about driving that I love so much, I just love doing it. The feeling of being free and being able to drive yourself to and from school feels so nice.

As soon as I get my license, I’m never going to stop driving. At least until I get sick of it, but I know that won’t happen for a while. I just believe that whatever happens is meant to happen and I’m grateful for that. I just want to be able to go see my friends and go places without worrying about rides. Ever since I was little, I have always been friends with older people. But my freshmen year is when I got friends who could drive. Which influenced me way more. Luckily my birthday is in 3 days so the time is coming closer. I couldn’t be more nervous or excited.

“Drive Car” by Humphrey Muleba/ CC0 1.0

Studying

candystealer76Leave a comment

I’ve learned this year that actually taking time to study has helped my grades a lot. Usually I’ll go over my notes and pray for the best, but I regret it the morning of the test when I don’t know most of the answers. Last night I scanned the internet trying to figure out the best way to study so that I can actually retain the information in my brain up until I take the test. One thing that I found very helpful which made me confident on taking my test was writing flash cards with key terms and definitions on the back. I think that tactic worked the best for me because I was writing down what I needed to know and also quickly studying it over and over again. When I took my test I was more confident in my answers than I usually am and if I was unsure about an answer it’s because I didn’t even think of going back and studying the topic. The worst thing I can do when I’m studying is study in a group, especially if its my friends because either I cant focus or I’ll procrastinate it until I’m alone. Procrastination is usually what sets me back to being my fullest potential school wise. I’ll put every piece of school work off to the side for later and end up having to stay up late trying to get it done. I think I’m doing myself a favor giving myself less stress when I leave it to do later but instead I’m setting myself up for failure. I wouldn’t mind staying up late to study, but the only reason it doesn’t work for me is because I cannot focus when I’m the slightest bit tired so I end up going to sleep and putting it off even longer. Hopefully I don’t fall off track this year because if I do it’s over for me.

“Student School” by Tamarcus Brown/ CC0 1.0

Government Give Me Money

zombiegxrlLeave a comment

For this week’s blog, I’m complaining yet again. I’m applying to my first five colleges this Thursday!! Very exciting stuff. I’m also applying to the FAFSA and CSS profile; financial aid. I need as much help paying for tuition as possible. Those who seek a higher education through college or university are often praised for their effort. If going to college is so important and everybody is expected to do it, then why is it so expensive? I’ve toured many campuses and been enthralled by their beauty and opportunities. I want so badly to study and gain the knowledge I need to pursue a career I’m passionate about. I know so many people who share this goal with me, but it’s just too expensive. To get the best and most prestigious education, it seems you need to be a millionaire or have invented the cure to cancer; I sadly haven’t done either. Financial aid and scholarships are the holy grail for college students today. With the cost of living rising rapidly, education has gone to the back burner for many Americans. It’s sad because knowledge is the key to freedom, and so many people are denied this right simply because they need to prioritize putting food on the table or keeping a roof over their heads. Like I previously said, financial aid and scholarships are brilliant, but are they enough? I don’t think so. Education shouldn’t be so expensive. Fundraisers, private donations, campus stores, etc., should fund colleges and universities. Everyone deserves to study at Pepperdine or Oxford, whether or not they have the funds. University is about being smart, innovative, and determined, not economic standing.

pc – google

AP Lit.

Bl@ckBe@nsLeave a comment

Photo Credit: Google

I’m not sure why I chose to take AP Literature and Composition. Yes, I do like English, but not enough to torture myself. Yes, it’s just the beginning of the class, but I’m not meant for the timed writing lifestyle. It gives me too much anxiety and makes it hard to focus on the task and hand. I’m not going to sit here and lie, but I thought I would be doing better. I currently have a grade in the B range, which I’m usually ok with, but recently B’s have been looking awful to me. 
I should have had this mindset in my Junior year. If I had, I would have had higher hopes of getting accepted into better colleges.


I digress. Every time we do timed writing in class, I always end up reading the prompt way too many times, and even then, I might still not fully grasp what’s needed. 

When I get to the writing segment, I often find myself forgetting what I was thinking about and having to go back and read through it.  By the time I’ve gotten started and have set a rhythm, I have like 5 minutes left. Once I hear “you guys have five more minutes,” the rhythm I had disappears into thin air, and I’m trying to type whatever comes to my head, but yet again, my brain has nothing to write. 

Nights

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From the moment I wake up to the time I sleep, I spend every moment active. That may be because I procrastinate and hold off until the last minute on a lot of things.

My day is kick-started at 7:30 when I spring out of bed to throw a hoodie on and make it to breakfast, and check in by 7:35. After that, the majority of the school day is spent working hard in class and focusing on doing the best I can.

The few breaks are still spent actively as I socialize with my friends all throughout the day. After school is sports. After sports is the gym, then I shower and go to dinner. After dinner is the study hall, and finally, after all of the rush, it is 8:59. My mind goes blank and fuzzy during study hall as I wait one last minute to enjoy the finale of my day.

Once it is 9:00, I am free from all the responsibilities of the day. I blast the best music with my roommate and make TikToks just for fun. I lie down and put on a show and absorb it effortlessly. I take too much joy in my free nights and end up staying out late. I never realize the consequence until it’s 7:30 and my body is numb as I jog to make breakfast.

A full moon seen through some trees at night photo – Free Moon Image on Unsplash

P.C. Google

The Duality of Being Sick

StrawberryMushroomLeave a comment

I wake up to the stinging sensation in my throat every time I swallow. Getting out of my bed seems so taxing. Even when I eventually manage to get myself up, my head feels as though it has grown twice as heavy overnight.

In my case, it is evident what caused my sickness: I spent the week stressed due to excessive amounts of homework and SAT studying, I had consumed unhealthy foods and drinks, and both the overworking and sugar consumption contributed to insufficient amounts of sleep.

No one likes feeling drained or hurt every time they take a step or swallow. And yet, I doubt that every day we are healthy, we think to ourselves, “I’m glad I am healthy today,” or “I’m glad my throat isn’t hurting.”

Our bodies are an entity of their own, systematically designed to communicate their needs to us. On the surface, it is telling me today that I haven’t been taking care of my body, exhausting it to its limit with poor nutrition and inadequate rest. But furthermore, it serves as a reminder to appreciate every day I wake up feeling healthy.

Person blowing nose, surrounded by medicines and home remedies

Picture Credit: Google