A list of animals and wether or not I think I could beat them in a fight.

navraj22Leave a comment

Here is a list of animals and my opinion on if I can beat them in a fight.

I want to preface this by saying that I love animals and in no way want to actually fight any of these animals. I’m just bored and was running through hypotheticals.

These are not fights to the death. Imagine UFC with animals so it’s basically until the ref steps in because one party is losing so badly or until one party quits.

Sheep

Win 

80:20 w/l odds

  If the sheep doesn’t have horns I think I got it beat. While the hoove kicks would hurt and ramming would hurt, I am definitely mobile enough to juke the shit out of a sheep. Also, I feel like if I was wearing some nice boots I could deliver a swift face kick to the sheep. I have no clue how resilient sheep are, but if the boot doesn’t work I feel like I could choke it out Nate Diaz mode.

A crazy ass Iguana

PC: Fox 19 Cincinatti

Loss

25:75 w/l odds

I preface this with crazy ass to let everyone know that this is no regular iguana. I’m talking about a crazy, wily iguana that scurries all around like a freak. I do not have the speed to deal with an iguana. The boots wouldn’t help me, I bet it would scurry up my legs and bite me in the hamstring or the back of the knee or something crazy. Iguanas are like bigger scaly squirrels with teeth so I feel like I would get dissected. Their claws also scare me. 

A gang of Mini Chihuahuas

PC: Gawker

Toss up

50:50 w/l odds

The only dogs I dislike are chihuahuas, but only the mean ones with the big heads and beady eyes that just scurry around. I would be so chill with a nice chihuahua but the mean ones just have a flip switched. They go full bagel boss guy compensating for their size. If a pack of those guys are coming at me I don’t know what would happen. If I am wearing shorts and sandals I’m a goner. If I was wearing pants and boots I think I could win with some sort of Irish Jig maneuver to deal with them. Their plan of attack would be yap and nip until I am overwhelmed and just quit. 

Soft Shell Turtle

PC: Wikkipedia

Win but it would take me a long time.

75:25 w/l odds

Soft shell turtles really gross me out. Why do they have a shell if it’s all soft and gross? Also, why do their heads extend so much. Super gross all around. I think I could definitely beat the shit out of a soft shell turtle, but the question is, would I want to come close enough to one to be able to fight it? I think not. To put it bluntly, their head looks like a deformed penis, and the fact that it retracts and extends really grosses me out. Their claws couldn’t do any real damage but they still scare me. There’s no way one of these things could beat me up, but if there was one in my bathroom or something, I’d definitely freak the fuck out, cower in the corner for 30 mins, then maybe remove it or maybe make my mom do it for me. The thing about these guys is they’re either super cute or really gross.

100 Cockroaches

Loss

100% loss

I am terrified of cockroaches. They fly, make weird crackly sounds, and are gross. If I was in a room with 100, I feel like I could only stomp on so many until the twitching and fluttering panic of these bugs would scare me. I would shut down and they would crawl into my nose and ears and I would be screaming to stop the fight. End of story. 

On another note, here is a really cool video of a cockroach kicking a wasp in the face.

VC: NYT

The Impregnable Wall of Authority

jared315Leave a comment

Recently a rule implanted by a tyrannical government has been put into action, outlawing the use of earbuds on campus. This ban on earbuds keeps students from using them on campus, supposedly because students wearing earbuds are unaware of their surroundings when walking around, they cannot engage with their peers, and they are worn in classes and become a distraction. This rule is B.S. Over the past three and a half years, I have been wearing earbuds on campus. Of course I followed safety precautions such as having one earbud out and playing my music on medium volume so I could hear cars and people talking. Not once have I had a close call with a car or any sort of traffic, I am constantly aware of the movement of the people around me, and I consistently engage in conversations with my classmates. This year nothing has changed except for me being interrupted mid sentence to take out my earbuds when sitting and enjoying a conversation with my friends, or even having my earbuds taken away when I was talking to my classmates outside of class while the teacher was setting up. This useless rule has only hindered me in my day to day existence. My music is important to me.

I understand I sound like a madman complaining about not being able to wear earbuds at school, however listening to music affects my mood and the way I act. Music relaxes me, it distracts me from anxiously tapping my feet or getting lost in my head and spacing out. Music benefits me academically. Which is why I fail to comprehend how a rule as dumb as this one has come to fruition. I hope to argue and eventually abolish this hindrance to student quality of life by fighting and following in the footsteps of freedom fighters of the past such as Martin Luther King Jr. or Malala Yousafzi. I will not be stopped by an impregnable wall of authority. I will persevere.

Gimme a Slice!

elephantlover2035Leave a comment

I would say I am more of a pie person over cake.

Cake is just too much. Too much frosting (I’m allergic), too much sugar, too much cake.

My mom makes the best apple pie, I might be biased. The Schuette family is definitely more of an apple pie family over pumpkin pie. I don’t mind pumpkin pie, but I will get up during dinner to get more than three helpings of apple pie.

We as a family are such big apple pie lovers that my younger sister wrote about the pie.

photo credit: Kristine’s Kitchen

`Recipe:

Ingredients:

1 recipe pastry for a 9″ double crust pie

1/2 cup unsalted or salted butter

3 tablespoons all- purpose flour

1/4 cup of water

1/2 cup white sugar (or slightly less)

1/2 cup packed brown sugar (or slightly less)

1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon- to taste (optional)

8 apples; peeled, cored, sliced (4 granny smith, 4 envy or fuji)

1 lemon; squeeze juice (add sugar to taste, the lemon will go on top of the apples to stop from browning)

Directions:

  1. Preheat Oven to 425 degrees
  2. Melt the butter in a saucepan, stir in flour to form a paste. Add water, white and brown sugar and bring to a boil. Reduce temperature and let simmer.
  3. Drizzle some of the lemon juice and sugar liquid over apples; just enough to make sure the apples do not brown.
  4. Place the bottom crust in a pan or use the one that came in the package. Put apples in a mixing bowl and drizzle less than half of the sugar/ butter liquid on apples. Put the apples in the crust, mound it slightly.
  5. Cover the pie with a lattice and then pour sugar/ butter liquid over the crust. Brush to make the mixture cover the whole pie.
  6. Line a tray with tin foil and place pie on top. During baking the pie might bubble over, this is a preventative.
  7. Cover with tin foil and bake for 15 minutes. Reduce temperature to 350 degrees; and continue to bake for 35-45 minutes or until apples are soft. Take of foil and let it cool for 5 minutes.
  8. Enjoy! It tastes really good with ice cream.

Lyrics i’m working on

ojaipizzaLeave a comment

I’m Stress out

What I do will never workout

What I chose ain’t gonna workout

I just wanna scream out loud

I’m running out of air in this empty space

believe someone will save my life

I just wanna see the light

I’m all alone

Everything I have now is gone

Thought this feeling will never be long

Always believe I will find my goldstone

Tears drop

Cry out

Fall down

Break apart

I just want to be normal, not the way you see me

The voices in my head

The voices in my head

The voices in my head

The voices in my head

Photo Credit: Lofi Aesthetic

Fidgeting

treefroggyLeave a comment

I have ADHD, and a stereotypical symptom I experience is fidgeting.

The earliest ADHD symptom I can remember is fidgeting. Ever since kindergarten, I’ve bounced my legs under my desk. Sometimes it’s accompanied by finger-tapping. I remember having trouble doing mindfulness activities because I felt like I needed to move somehow.

In the past four years, I’ve started cracking my fingers. Every joint in my hand can pop because of the countless hours I’ve spent absentmindedly pulling and pushing on my knuckles. Sometimes, I do it so much that my hands are in horrible pain and I can barely move them.

I’ve been told various times that it’s annoying, that it’s disrespectful, or that I need to stop doing it. If I had a nickel for every time someone’s told me I’m going to have arthritis when I’m older, I would be rich.

However, I’ve never stopped. It’s not because I lack the ability to break bad habits, or because I hold a grudge against people who commented on it. It’s because most of the time, it doesn’t hurt me, but rather comforts me.

For people with ADHD, fidgeting is a way to expel the energy that our brain exponentially puts out. Fidgeting, while sometimes annoying to other people, is not something that should be repressed. It helps people with ADHD to cope with what happens in their brains.

Not fidgeting can make people with ADHD feel overwhelmed, and it makes us more prone to meltdowns. Fidgeting, when done in a non-harmful way, is a healthy behavior for people with ADHD.

I hope that this article helps people understand ADHD and its symptoms better. Remember to look out for your friends or family who have ADHD to make sure they’re taking care of themselves.

3 Ways to Help Fidgety Kids Sit Still - wikiHow
https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/e/ef/Help-Fidgety-Kids-Sit-Still-Step-8-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Help-Fidgety-Kids-Sit-Still-Step-8-Version-2.jpg.webp

Gobbler

jared315Leave a comment

I came home in the early evening to find my stomach hollow

So I put together a dirty dog and placed it in my gullet to swallow,

A hot dog topped with toppings such as cheese, chili, and corn

As I placed it in my mouth I discovered a miracle had been born,

I’m a master of creation

I have the hands of god,

I can change reality like claymation

My life up until now turned to be a facade,

I start to dig in

I’ve become a professional eater,

The food disappears fast

Like I’m accelerating in a two seater,

Seconds have passed

And I’m turning down the heat,

I ate it so fast

I was sure an eating record I had beat.

http://www.pinterest.com

Running Thoughts

bartholomulethegreatLeave a comment

Ok lets go I got this,

there’s the start and go

c’mon lets go run fast fast fast

ok slow down its going more uphill

why is he having a conversation with that runner, never mind

Focus on me and my breathing

holy shit how is he that far ahead already

Ok just go at my own pace

Run past the office and little more till the downhill keep going

Ok mow the downhill ahhh I can chill out a little bit

don’t go slow though

lets go run run run im at the bottom getting closer

theres the trailer

and the driveway

and bear gate

ok 1.3 miles left

but there all uphill

pain

I’m gonna walk for a little I’m hurting a lot

Ok that’s enough of a break go

Aw shoot it still hurts

I just have to finish this

C’mon almost done last little bit no walking

Oh shit theres the gate lets goooooo

Dang they sprinted,

I did tell coach I would too so

At the gate go go go go go

oh wow I cant feel my legs like at all that’s fun

And done in 26:35

Not imma get myself a popsicle

yum

Image credit: depositphotos.com

I don’t suck at looking cool while golfing though.

navraj22Leave a comment

I’m really interested in golf clubs. Not new golf clubs, just random golf clubs. Obsolete technology, odd shapes, essentially the shit nobody wants. I’m not an old dude playing with anc collecting hickory (40’s) clubs because “this is how golf is supposed to be played”. I’m not one of the many high school golfers with a full new bag, to optimize performance. I like the 90’s and even some early 2000’s golf clubs. 

The only new club in my bag is my driver. I use a rusty blade putter from the 80’s, wedges from the 90’s, irons from before I was born, a novelty square fairway wood and a minuscule 5 wood that only serves to make me angry. My bag is like the closet of someone who only shops at a thrift store. 

Basically every other youth golfer or golfer period is interested in the newest clubs. These people also probably enjoy wearing dri-fit polos, cargo shorts, tennis racket belts. Nothing against these people, but I hate that type of attire. I typically wear t-shirts, shorts, and a visor or wide brim ‘aussie’ hat. I carry a bag without legs, old fashioned style, not because it makes golf easier, no no, all of the things I do make golf harder, i just like them *shrug emoji*.

I don’t really know what the point of this is, but I think appreciating old things and not always seeking the newest best thing is something that I think more people should try and do. 

Here are some retro golf clubs I think are really sick:

PC: Twirled Clubs: https://twirledclubs.com/

Hyperfixations

treefroggy1 Comment

I have ADHD, and one of the symptoms I experience most severely is known as hyperfixation.

A hyperfixation is when someone with ADHD finds something that interests them and becomes infatuated with it. For me, it’s usually fictional universes like Marvel or DC. Hyperfixations can last from weeks to months, or even stick around for years.

When I hyperfixate, the topic becomes my entire world. I have trouble eating enough, drinking enough water, sleeping for a healthy amount of time, and just taking care of myself in general. School becomes the second priority, and I have a hard time staying on top of – or even being able to finish – my work. I spend hours on end in my bedroom consuming my hyperfixation and transferring it into what I like to do. In my case, I like to write.

During the first few weeks of a hyperfixation, I will write obsessively about it. I have written essays about how good the object of my hyperfixation is, made presentations to explain the lesser known details about it to my family, and overall written over five hundred pages of fanfiction about my various hyperfixations.

It might sound silly for a teenager to become obsessed with children’s shows like Star Wars: The Clone Wars, but at one point it was the only thing getting me through the school day.

Hyperfixations are no joke. They’re a symptom of neurodivergency and should be taken just as seriously as any other symptom. People in a state of hyperfixation sometimes mimic symptoms of depression and anxiety like irritability, lack of care for their future, and distancing themselves from other things they would usually like to do.

I hope that this article helps people understand ADHD and its symptoms better. Remember to look out for your friends or family who have ADHD to make sure they’re taking care of themselves.

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/a1/bc/11/a1bc11f74ce368e494d7f699e2585474.jpg

Are naps overrated?

im6footLeave a comment

Naps are most definitely NOT overrated.

I have never met someone who does not enjoy a nap. In fact naps are underrated. The greatest class in school history was and still is naptime in kindergarten. Taking a nap too late in the day could possibly mess up your bedtime if you wake up a bit too late.

Take Naps at Work. Apologize to No One. - The New York TimesPhoto from The New York Times.

One of the greatest feelings in the world is waking up from a solid and refreshing nap. Now what is a solid and refreshing nap exactly? To some a solid and refreshing nap may be a few hours and in a bed. To others it may take place in a chair and only for half an hour. Personally my idealistic perfect nap is on the floor in my room. My floor gets very cold and stays cold for quite some time so it generates an perfect base for a napping site. Personally I prefer to nap in either my gym clothes or a pair of jeans if I am on demon time. And as for a length I like to keep my naps from anywhere to 15 minutes to half an hour. Just a quick little refresher before I start homework or eat dinner.

If you say that daytime naps are overrated you probably

A. Sleep with the heater on

B. Don’t clean the rice before cooking it

C. Can’t walk n chew gum at the same time

Naps are underrated!