Ballerinas

A tight backstage room.
Fumes from hairspray intoxicating a tight backstage room.
Chaos,
bobby-pins, tan and black,
flying aimlessly.
It is hot backstage,
the walls the color of earl gray tea.
The toes of the apparently perfect, are broken, bruised, concealed inside pretty pink slippers delicately touching the chalk buckets in every corner of the room.
Pandemonium.
Bustling people elegantly dressed in every color imaginable.
Feathers,
diamonds,
flowers,
leotards,
point shoes,
tights,
tutus.
Dancers racing around behind the curtains struggling to find their cue.
The frightened ballerinas pacing backstage,
with visions of turns and leaps dancing in their heads.
Dance ballerina to the sound of the classical piano.
All the chaos backstage concealed from the elegance on stage.
All concealed from the wealthy parents sitting in velvet chairs.

All concealed from the rest of the world.

All concealed in a tight backstage room.

Nutcracker Ballet From: lifesylepubs.wordpress.s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com

 

Now I See You.

“One-two-three, turn; One-two-three turn.”

Following the beat, I watched myself in the mirror as someone else.

She turned slowly with caution and every movement she did seemed so fragile. She stepped forwards and then backwards so skillfully, as if nobody could trace her pace. Her face, however, was a little nervous. Everything was perfect except one thing – confidence.

Then the music ceased.

I walked closer to the mirror and tried to touch the person in it. But I couldn’t see her anymore. She faded away with my curiosity and hope. At that moment, I assured myself that one day I would find her back. And since then, she became my dream.

I was six.

A year later I went back to that dance studio with a group of kids who were much older than me.

I gripped my mother’s hands and I could clearly feel myself shaking with fear.

The first dancing class of my life was vividly impressed in my mind. I was the youngest dancer in my class, but the most talented, my teacher Ms. Li told me. I hurt so bad when the teacher stood on my both knees in order to stretch my legs. I hated Li.

Since then, my spare time was filled with dancing and Saturday’s schedules changed into a regular pattern with two hours dancing class in the afternoon.

I cried every single time before I stepped into the classroom to see Ms. Li. I was frightened by her serious face and the intolerable pain she gave me. But I would always dry my eyes completely and then turned to the studio happily like nothing had happened.

I endured all the pain and after class, I would always spent some extra hours practicing at home.

God, I wish I could be a dancer in the future. I did love dancing.

Two years later, I was surprised to see my great improvement.

“Thank you all for these unforgettable three years. You are all wonderful dancers. Now it’s time for you to put on these ballet shoes and be a beautiful swan. Don’t forget to think about yourself when you dance. Use your heart to dance, not your body. ”

Ms. Li sobbed a little when she left and gave me a smile and I swear that was the warmest smile I had ever seen. I didn’t hate her anymore.

I put on my pink ballet shoes. It took me half an hour to tie them well before I could actually stand up with them.

I was shocked. The person in the mirror was incredibly gorgeous. It hurt a little bit when I stood with my toes but all the pain vanished as I started to dance.

The music pushed me into a fantasy in which I was able to touch my dream. I spun around like an innocent swan.

I danced and danced, for a long time.

That was the most beautiful eight years in my life.

After attending high school, I could not dance as much as I did before. But the joy of dancing has never disappeared.

I am not going to be a professional dancer anyways, but dancing is still my dream.

Dancing was the only way I can communicate with my soul and whenever I feel upset, dancing would comfort me and helped me to forget the pain.

I learned a lot from my experience of dancing. I challenged myself and struggled to present perfection.

Dancing taught me about life. Dancing provided me confidence and leads me to realize that dream was not always unreachable.

Putting on my pink ballet shoes, I took a deep breath and said to myself,

“One-two-three, turn; One-two-three turn.”

Following the beat, I am trying to find myself in the mirror and suddenly a confident smile emerged.

Now I see you.

Comfort Zones.

Comfort zone

People create their own rules and boundaries, to which they comply. They create their own padded comfy cells, which they are reluctant to break out of. Often they are happy to remain in this space, in this comfort zone.

There comes a time when it’s time to break out get a taste of those flavors you have never experienced before. It’s a time to sample the things that you may either hate or love and see the wonders that lie beyond the self-created safe place.  It’s a time to fly.

Since moving to America I have realized that everyone has their own comfort zones whether it be their home, their country or even just their daily routine. Taking my friend to my first American  concert this Thursday  I saw how these boundaries exist.

As I pushed to the front surging with the crowd he stood unsure, moving with the people against his will. If he had another option he would surely have been at home playing video games, but he didn’t have that choice. The only choice he had was to become part of the crowd and embrace the music. So that’s what he did.

Speaking afterwards he was full of joy and “buzzing” with excitement. He had stepped out of his comfort zone and experienced something magnificent.

This week my 43-year-old mother is trying out an adult ballet class. Something she has loved from a young age but never had the opportunity or guts to do. Since moving to the U.S she has realized stepping out of ones comfort zone often brings you liberation and that is why she has decided to try something different.

So I encourage you all, take that extra step to do something different and you may find everything you have ever wanted.

A new concept.

Music
I have always admired and loved music. From birth my parents would play artists such as Simply Red and Blur around the house. My parents always encouraged me as a child to listen to music and Friday night became the highlight of my week when I became introduced to the music show, Top of the Pops.

Throughout my life I have heard music from bands such as Oasis, U2 and Coldplay which has consequently lead me to have a great love for music of all types. Although I love music I never really made the effort to learn to play a musical instrument.

Two years ago my Dad started learning the acoustic guitar. He greatly regretted never learning and encouraging me and my sister to learn so he attempted to inspire us later on in life.

Throughout my life I have excelled at different hobbies but never seem to follow them through due to fear of failure. From the age of 3 I did ballet, carrying on until I was 11. But after a move in location, out of fear, I never restarted. My teacher recommended I go to proper dance school but I just never had the faith that I’d be good enough. Now I look back at these moments with much regret but I acknowledge that maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.

I now have no real talent or hobbies so I thought it was about time I found something. Last week after discovering a music shop in Ventura called Pulse Drumming, which  advertised Ukulele lessons, I began to learn how to play the Ukulele.  It’s a small start but after going to buy my first Ukulele today I have become truly inspired.

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