Tag: body

insecure

mariethearistocatLeave a comment

it’s hard to come to terms with your body

when you’ve never loved it.

it’s hard to come to terms with a place

that you’ve worked so hard to reach

and not see the change you wanted.

yes, i should feel happy in my body,

but it’s hard to

when everyone else’s is what you want.

it’s hard to love a temple that isn’t decorated the way you’d like.

as a whole, i love myself.

but, there’s no part that i fully love.

i’ve always hated my thighs.

even in kindergarten, i’d pinch them

thinking they’d get smaller

as i sat criss-cross applesauce on my classroom’s brightly-colored rug.

recently, i’ve come to despise the flabbiness of my arms.

it’s not that they’re too big,

but i wish i didn’t have to do millions of push-ups to get the tone i want.

it’s hard to love my stomach,

even though it’s just my organs sitting on top of each other.

Photo Credit: pinterest.com

why couldn’t my genes allow my stomach to rest flat?

why can’t i wear my tight-fitting dress without the bump made by my breakfast? 

no, my body doesn’t empower me.

i wish i was taller, thinner, had thicker hair.

i wish my chin was more defined,

my neck the same color as my face.

i wish i could run longer and faster.

i wish i could dance more gracefully; i wish i had more rhythm.

i wish my eyes didn’t water while i wrote this.

damn you, eyes.

i wish i could see 20/20,

not have to worry about my contacts falling out while i’m swimming 

or be able to fall asleep without being confronted with dry, burning eyes when i wake up.

i wish i looked like i did in my dreams.

i wish i could fly all the way to outerspace and swim in the depths of the ocean without my lungs failing me.

for, even without a complex created by magazines,

it’s still hard for me to love the body i’m in.

Through the Wall

backinphilly1 Comment

I recently wrote a poem for OVS‘s love poetry competition. While I didn’t win, I was pretty proud of what I wrote. I realize that this is more of a short story than a poem but I spoke from the heart. Whenever people read something, they always question who or what it’s about. This is simply a story about forbidden love. Read and interpret for yourselves.

She was the one he could never quite reach.

There was always some barrier keeping them apart.

He didn’t understand why.

The wall was solid.

He knew she was on the other side.

It was all that was ever on his mind.

How everyday, he’d try.

Just to be next to her.

And he’d try

And try.

And try.

You would think that constant failure would render him helpless.

But his love for her wouldn’t let him stop.

Then one day, one lone hole emerged in the wall.

He could see the light.

She was beautiful.

He had never seen anything like her.

He needed to be with her.

He was in love.

And there was no way out.

As one wall was falling

a new wall was forming

He realized that as his desire for her burned inside,

he was trapped.

He was never getting away from his love.

Her radiance shown as if she truly was an angel.

Infatuation, obsession, affection,

He felt helpless without her.

As he fell harder and harder, the wall began to crumble away.

The wall sheltering him from escape was now impassable.

He could see her face.

And she looked on him with bright eyes

The two never looking away

She smiled at him

And he smiled back

He saw his chance, and tried to reduce the rest of the wall to rubble.

Taking any opportunity to make her realize

He loved her

Piece by piece

Brick by brick

He pushed through

And he held her

And she him

They were finally together

After so much determination

His efforts to make her realize

How he really felt

And she was beautiful

He was not blinded by his addiction

She was flawless in nature

Her entire being was bright

Her eyes, stars that envied the night sky

Her smile, the only thing that made him happy

Her voice, sweeter and softer than the sounds of the most glorious choirs

Her heart, only for him

Her touch, made him hope that she’d never take her hand away

She refused to accept it at first

But somehow

He knew that she did

And somehow

She knew that she loved him.

The wall between them had fallen.

And a new wall surrounded them.

But they were together

And that’s all he ever wanted.

Defeated Again

callmemaybe32Leave a comment

Once I again I walked off of another teams field not feeling the great feeling of victory

This past weekend the team traveled up to Los Olivos, CA to compete against the Dunn Earwigs on their parents weekend, just as we did last year.

We went into the game with high hopes, and a new play series that we had worked on all week.

We arrived at the school, and right of the bat the day was not going as planned.

Somehow the ball bag was left back at school, some 2 hours away.

We did not have our own game balls, or our own kicking tee.

We put that aside and made do, and went into our pre game routine of bananas, pretzels, and stretching.

Our Defensive Coordinator John Wickenhaeuser had dome some research that bananas and pretzels before a game does the body good if that comment seemed a little odd.

During our warm ups that same nauseous feeling returned, and I was once again off my game.

I even tried to take medicine to make this feeling go away, but it is clear that it is nerves, and I just need to be hit a few times so that I don’t think about it as much.

When the game started Dunn quickly scored their first touchdown, and we weren’t too worried, that happens in the game of football.

Read More »

The Dailey Method

yrreskrap1 Comment

With summer (and graduation) just around the corner, I have been trying to get fit. My goal is to lose about 5 pounds and get muscle tone.

Well, this weekend was a good step towards achieving my goal.

This morning, I went to the Dailey Method in Santa Barbara with my friend Emmy for the first time. I thought this class would be a breeze but boy was I wrong.

The Dailey Method kicked my butt (or, if i wanted to use proper Dailey Method terminology, it had kicked my seat).

The Dailey Method is a system that combines barre, core, yoga, and orthopedic exercises. There are multiple Dailey Method locations all around America, although many are concentrated in California.

What drew me to the Dailey Method was the way it toned your body to keep it in alignment. I have scoliosis in my upper and lower back that often makes me very tense. The end result of this tough workout was, surprisingly, a more relaxed body. My back feels great and I am not sore at all.

I only wish that they had a location in Boston, where I hope to go to college. For now, I will try to go to as many classes as I can!

Please check out the website: http://www.thedaileymethod.com/index.html

And the video: