Tribute

Here it is. June 3rd.
Just five more days until I walk across that stage and receive my diploma.

Who knew high school went by as fast as they said it did?

My five year journey here at Ojai Valley School has been unforgettable.

I started out in 8th grade at the Lower Campus. Although it was a great change from a large school of over 2,000 students, the warm and inviting faculty and friends I met made the adjustment easy.

I had a great year learning how to camp, do my own laundry, and take on the responsibilities of living in a dorm. Not the mention, the close bonds I made with the girls I lived with. It was a different kind of bond than the most of the ones I made in public school. Having lived with these girls, I felt almost as if I was amongst sisters.

So, after graduating, the decision was easy. I knew I wanted to go to Upper for high school.

My freshman year, I roomed with my best friend from Lower, Wendy Lin.

Now let me say something about her. I have been my most vulnerable with Wendy. I opened up to her about things I never really shared with anybody else, and she did the same. So when we roomed together, it was like I was with family. We both knew each other enough not to argue. So when I say, although we had our ups and downs, I am generally talking about the ups when it comes to Wendy. When I think of my freshman year, she is among one of the first people that pop into my mind.

Then there is Lucy Kim. Ah, she is so dear to me. Not only did we click because of our similar humor, she lifted me up when I was down and always was there for me when I needed prayer requests. She also listened to me when I needed her and let me realize that  She even got us transportation to go to church on Sundays so that we could keep our faith, after I told her how hard it was not to go to church.

Cooper, Jeremy, Oussou and Parker. Boy, were they funny people. Of course, when you are that young, seniors seem so much older than they actually are, and these were the people I looked up to. They had close, lasting bonds that were connected by years of laughter. Although they probably had no idea, my senior year was affected so much by the optimism and attitude they brought to the school.

The first half of my sophomore year was spent at Beverly Hills High School. That semester was definitely a learning experience for me. The big public school experience was new to me, having been in a private boarding school of just over 100 students. Regardless, I returned to OVS with a newfound appreciation.

Junior year..was tough. It was full of all nighters and instant food. I was swamped with the workload of 4 AP’s and struggled with balancing time between my studies and my boyfriend of two years. But this is the year that I grew close to Jo Chen and Maddie, two of my best friends today! However, it was also the year that Jo, Maddie, Lucy, and my boyfriend had graduated so the graduation was marked with strong emotions.

This year, graduation means something completely different.

It means five years of going to school in Ojai is coming to a close. It means growth. It means Reika, Sungjin, and Anni. It means Mr. Alvarez’s words of encouragement and Mr. Cooper’s long speeches on integrity. It means Mr. Weidlich running with the lacrosse team and Mrs. Colborn’s team comp announcements. It means Chico’s waffles every Wednesday morning. It means Mrs. Allen’s bake sales and the IOU’s that follow. It means Haldy’s jokes and Eddy’s motorcycle videos and Mr. and Mrs. Boyd’s wonderful singing and camping trips with Mrs. Davis. It is so much.

It kind of makes me want to stay a little longer.

That’s how much I love this place.

Thank you everybody for making this experience what it was. It has been a fabulous 5 years. I loved every minute of it.

Ch-Ch-Changes.

Sunflower

It’s funny how much things can change in a year. This time last May I was still learning how to drive, and today I was confidently driving to LAX on my own. Yes believe it or not I actually can drive. Ok, you may argue not properly but I think I’m pretty pro despite the general consensus among others.

Any way moving on, it’s amazing how much things change and how we change as people over the course of a year. How we grow in different areas, in my mind, is a miracle.

Looking at my self today I am in some ways unrecognizable. I have more confidence, am more mature and actually can see my self in an adult manner. In my eyes I believe I have grown out of that pre adulthood rebellion and am actually acting the age I am.

With my noticed personal growth this year I can’t wait to see what I become in this next year and what changes I undertake.

This is the End

You may see a few other posts from my fellow OVS bloggers regarding our impending graduation.

What a trip it has been. I have been at OVS for six years and they have been fantastic.

Like at any other school, we bitch and moan about the problems, and there have been many. But when I look at the growth I have experienced and seen within my friends I realize what I have been given.

Going to a private boarding school as a day student can be tricky, but I have learned to play the game.

I have dealt with having a relative has my headmaster as well as having family intertwined with the school history.

My first day, the headmaster told me “I failed with your father, I failed with my son and goddammit, I’m not going to fail with you.”

Although I loath to concede anything to him, I will admit he has not failed. He has given me “character”, although the integrity may still need some work.

I should have been kicked out many, many times. I have thought about leaving even more times.

But endings change the picture. They throw out the individual memories and give you and overall feeling. I can say that the feeling I have is a positive one.

Although I am ready to leave, I appreciate what I have been given and greatly value that gift.

New Starts.

Paths

It’s time for new starts, new beginnings, and new adventures. Recently I have found myself saying quite frequently “if you fear something it must be good” and this has become the motto for my life at its current state.

With so much change coming into my life I can’t help but to feel nervous and in many ways sad. Letting go of relationships, family and old lifetimes will be tough as I have previously experienced, but change is always good.

I am about to forge a new path for myself, expanding to new horizons and becoming the person I am destined to be. I have no restraints to hold me back except myself and realistically that’s the easiest battle.

It’s time to take small steps towards great new starts.

Nasty Habits.

Eating

We all have nasty habits that are tough to change. Either we are unwilling to give them up or it’s impossible to stop. When people comment, you commit to changing and begin to take steps to prevent future incident, but this mind set lasts maybe a day and then the common cycle kicks in and you revert back to your old ways.

Sometimes the words of others don’t mean anything and you don’t want to change. Sometimes you need something more like maybe an ultimatum. For me it was someone who owned the same bad habit that has made me stop. Well at least attempt to for good.

Tonight I hand prepared a meal of Spaghetti Bolognese for my family and I. I slaved over it and put all of my heart and soul into it, just for it to gobbled up in 2 minutes by my auntie. Finding this extremely disrespectful I realized I am very similar in my speedy habits, just not to the extreme.

Luckily for me I had this realization when she first arrived, a month ago making me slow down significantly. Tonight just emphasized the terrible habit I own, keeping me on track to successfully changing.

Looking at a mirror of your disgusting behaviors is extremely helpful but not everyone is as lucky as me to have this opportunity. So next times you commit the crime just think of someone doing the same habit in front of you. How do you feel?

A Time for Change.

Change is healthy.

Today, before I left the dorms for the Ojai Farmer’s Market, I made a spur of the moment decision to change my room around. My bed has been rearranged. My dresser once cluttered with various cosmetics and toiletries is now bare, my small pink and white refrigerator brandishing those same perfumes and toothbrushes.

It feels good.

I spent a large part of my day cleaning and reorganizing and reopening and removing. I usually feel a need for this sort of change at the end of the school year in the dormitories.

Today was different though.

As I am beginning to sum up my five years at Ojai Valley School, writing the last pages of my high school days, priming for the next chapter of my life, I am slowly growing more anxious, scared, and unsure.

What is undeniable is my insatiable desire to graduate. 

I don’t know what it is. A part of me does not want to leave, knowing how much I will miss this place, a part has been growing since September. I guess I am scared to leave this small hill that blessed me with so many happy, great memories but, I think I am too scared to leave the people I love so much behind.

But time is surely passing by faster this year…

I only wish that I make sure this year is great. I am happier than I ever was with my friends and the people I surround myself with. And I want to leave feeling elated and proud.

COLLEGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now that is what I cannot get off my mind. Where will I GO!? I find out the results of my Early Evaluation application to Wellesley College. But after that, I have another dreaded MONTH of waiting for results. Goodness gracious. The college process is absolutely dreadful. Hopefully, great news will unfold in the upcoming weeks!!

Wish Me Luck.

 

Consumerism.

monopoly man

I am a victim of consumerism. Yes, I admit it I love to shop, spend and snap up those sales. Shamefully I am a greedy, lustful consumer. But you know what, that’s what a lot of the world is shaped around these days. Ok, so I’ve always been a keen consumer but today I really realized the error of my ways.

The simple scenario that mapped out my sinful deeds began with a fast food shop they like to call McDonalds and the simple game of monopoly. Yes that time of year is back, Monopoly at McDonalds.

The sinful time when you are encouraged to buy fatty goodies in order to win cars, holidays and spa days has returned and I have been its first victim. Today I bought two McDonalds. Yes I repeat two McDonalds, breakfast and dinner. The concept of winning a prize from a meal was just too much, but no I did not win.

So whilst I counted the individual monopoly tickets I realized how I had become a victim. I had become a victim to games and consumerism. Now it’s time for me to change.

Say Hello to Ophiuchus, the New Zodiac Sign

I personally have always been confused with my zodiac sign. Not that I believe horoscopes to begin with, but the fact that my birthday, January 20 (don’t forget!) has been borderline with the Aquarius and Capricorn signs. Some horoscopes tell me I’m the Water Bearer, others tell me I am the Goat. Obviously, when people would ask, I would tell them I am an Aquarius, just because it sounds a tad bit prettier than does a goat.

However, a new addition to the zodiac family of constellations has shifted the dates of many other signs. The 2010 zodiac dates were shifted to fit in the new 13th zodiac sign in the 2011 zodiac calendar.

Ophiuchus is also known as Serpentarius and was an uncommon, rarely used zodiac sign. However, many claim that the Earth has changed its tilt throughout the years, it faces a new constellations. For this reason, Ophiuchus was added to as the 13th sign.

For me, this change is just confusing. I’ve always called myself an Aquarius (or at least I had the choice to call myself an Aquarius) but under the new calendar, I am a Capricorn. This annoys me thoroughly and I have my fingers crossed that Ophiuchus gets taken out of the original zodiac family so that I can call myself an Aquarius once again.

Birthdays

Today is my birthday.

Birthdays are something we, as kids, cherish. It’s all about “growing up” and “being a big kid,” but when do we really stop and realize what we have? I’m finding that the older I get, the less excited I am for each birthday. Most kids my age are claiming that they’re excited to be 18, for freedom, and 21, for alcohol, but why? Does anyone stop and think that turning 18 is practically being thrown into a lion’s den from the comfy and less hostile world we’re used to? You have to pay for yourself, manage school work, and keep a social life. It’s already hard enough in high school to manage school work along with a social life. Even adults past age 27 or so wish they were younger. Here, in high school, and partially college, everything is set up for us, but when we hit the real world we’re on our own. I don’t want to grow up anymore.