Saved

I nearly made the biggest mistake of my life.

Leading up to the college visit trip I took last week, I was adamant about applying and going to NYU. So adamant in the fact that I was prepared to apply early decision, meaning if I got in I would have to attend.

When I tell you I was saved by a thread I mean it. I was millimeters away from making the worst decision ever.

NYU was not the place for me. I had thought that going to a school without a campus would be fun, my experience this summer in New York made me feel free, and living in New York and attending school seemed ideal. This was mostly because I was with one of my closest friends whose sister went there, so we spent most of our time shopping and eating rather than being students. It was a whole different story at the school. The tour guide talked more about her getting cut from the quidditch team than student life and did many other similar things, making me realize that maybe I wanted more of a college experience.

I had just gone to see Michigan before NYU, where I went tailgating and sat in the student section at the Big House. My friend who goes there showed me around and showed me what it is like to be a student at a big school. I had the best time and realized that this is something I can’t go without in college. I also thought the traditional campus layout would make studying easier, everything was just more simple.

These two factors combined and made me realize what an idiot I had been. Judging my college choices on a fun week I had without considering schools, sheerly basing the biggest choice I will have made in my young life on location.

I feel super relieved I changed my mind about applying to NYU early decision, and that I went on the tour as the feels at the schools were different than the ideas in my head of what they would feel like. It feels surreal that I was that close to making such a big choice based on nothing.

PC: Knight Photography

Reams Full Of Dreams

It really just begins as a question:

Who do you want to be?

There’s no answer yet,

just confusing clues,

and time.

At some point the rough outline, the shadow, the future is visible: 

now just a gossamer dream, 

but focusing with time, condensing…

I pour myself into the process.

I’m buying what they’re selling,

buying a future,

buying a me.

They’re selling dreams, outlines, frames for faces,

65 bucks a pop!

Expensive. But this boardwalk is a long one.

I pick places.

Leaves?

Seasons?

Words etched in stone?

Wood?

Steel?

All the while working, working.

Pressure to be better,

be happy,

be me,

pressure to do more,

to be more,

and all the while working. Guilty

because I know I could work harder,

and be happier.

Do more.

I could cover more ground,

jump through more gilded hoops,

be better,

do more,

be me-er.

Ideas stuck on frail words

clamouring to speak out

above the clamor.

Distilling self

into neat columns,

busy with intricacy.

From a fermenting mess:

fine spirit.

Then I wait,

as a man in Massachusetts thumbs through reams of dreams.

from istock.com

NFL Draft-Doesn’t Get Much Better

Thursday (Today) is the NFL Draft. The first round opens up, and the Kansas City Chiefs go on the clock at 8 o’clock eastern time tonight. There are a lot of talented players in this draft. But, there are also a ton of questions. I’m gonna try and answer these questions to the best of my ability.

Here goes nothing.

Question 1-Who is going first overall?

I’ll be honest. I have absolutely no idea. Up until yesterday, everyone was saying the Chiefs are draft Luke Joeckel and that was that. However, now it appears that KC is looking more towards Eric Fisher. I’ve also heard that the Chiefs are thinking about trading the first pick in order to build a foundation later on in the draft. I think that last option is probably the best thing KC can do. However, KC has Andy Reid, and I know his patterns pretty well. I don’t think he’s going to trade that pick since he likes high picks, and potential trade partners won’t want to give away a slew of picks for one player in a lackluster top 10. The safe bet is saying that KC will draft Fisher. I’m a firm believer that as far as the draft is concerned, the information we had last week means nothing now that new info has emerged. The newest updates in the NFL are usually the most accurate.

Answer-Eric Fisher if the Chiefs stay put. If they move the pick, I have no clue.

Question 2-How many quarterbacks are being taken in the first round?

Another thing that I am really not sure about. I can almost promise Geno Smith will be drafted in the first round. That’s just about a consensus idea. However, a lot of analysts think maybe one or two more QBs get taken in the later picks of the first round. I have no clue who those one or two could be. Maybe Matt Barkley, maybe EJ Manuel. My bet is on Ryan Nassib. I think he has the best shot at going in the first round with Geno.

Answer-Geno is going in the first round. After that, there’s nothing for sure.

Question 3-What teams could trade their picks?

This is an interesting question. Like I said, the Chiefs could move that number 1 pick. I think the Eagles could. I think the Bills could. I think the Giants could. I’m hearing things that Dallas wants to move up (I don’t see any reason). There are a lot of possibilities. Once again, this question has no real answer.

Answer-As far as we know, nothing.

So that’s your primer for the draft. I’ll recap it all on Sunday!

Boston Bound!

Around me, the chatter of many different people diverged into one dynamic buzz. Cash registers ring, papers being printed, suitcases being dragged. Noise engulfs me as I sit in a grey pleather chair in the Charlotte Douglas Airport.

 

I sit here, a venti Starbucks black iced tea (with two Sweet’N Lows and easy ice) and a packet of organic dried mangoes, and I can already tell the difference in the environment.

Although this is just an airport, I can feel the change in the vibe. I am on the East Coast. I am not in California. I can tell in the way people walk, talk, and gesticulate that the city I am in is absolutely different.

I guess I my awareness of all of these differences is especially heightened because this is my first voyage to Boston. As high school senior, I am applying to numerous colleges, many of which are situated in the East Coast. I am scared, nervous, excited, and curious of how different life in Boston will be.

What will the food be like? Will I stand out, strike people as different just as I do them?Who knows?

I’ll let you know how I like it soon:)

Life as a Teenager

Just a year ago when I was striving to survive my junior year, comtemplating about my life was considered as an act of luxury.

Now that I have gotten so much time to kill, I brood over making right “choices.”

How much should I allow my parents, friends, and other mentors to interfere with my decision-making?

How do I know if I tried my best?

And, am I on the right track?

Since I have to put an end to my teen phase soon, I ponder, ponder, and ponder once again about EVERYTHING. I am pretty sure some seniors experience the same.

All my dilemmas sprout from this single fact; I soon will not be considered as a child, but as an adult.

My life as a teen was fabulous. My immaturity and childish ignorance had been the best excuses for my mistakes. But, the thought that these excuses will no longer be valid terrifies me.

On the bright side, my mind-processing skills have improved vastly over the time. As I look back, the questions that I had during my middle and high school years sound so inane, except for a few that I still struggle to answer.

Hopefully, I will find a balance soon between this sense of ambiguity and assurance.

Until then, my migraine will probably to linger. Urgh.