Tag: consciousness

stream of consciousness (my weekend)

underwaterismyflyzoneLeave a comment

Oh god, where are the Sharpies in Joaans?

There is a bump on the back of my head.

And, I told you I loved you last night and you told me 

you loved me too, but value our friendship over anything.

I got in trouble yesterday.

I won’t see my friends for a long time.

Where did you come from?

Why is the power off?

My mom said that we are just going to go to the store, but we always go out

and I couldn’t feel my hands the other day.

Why is there no one in this class?

My dad texted me on Friday;

I should respond soon.

Superhero movies are atrocious. 

Virgos aren’t very compatible with Geminis-

it makes sense.

Yes love, cherry blossoms are a good dorm theme.

I told myself I’d never cry in front of you two.

I feel like dark blue hues.

And I told you I loved you last night and you told me

you loved me too, but value our friendship over anything.

And I got in trouble last night.

God, I thought we were soulmates.

I feel like dark blue hues.

Mom swerved on the highway.

For once, maybe i am not invincible.

You loved me too, but value our friendship over anything.

God, i think we are soulmates.

 

Photo credit: stuffyoushouldknow.com

 

Control

raining17Leave a comment

Lack of control, lack of consciousness. From a passing feeling of anxiety grows a larger, stronger sensation.

A pit embedded so deep in my stomach, sprouting vines that spread to the very tips of my fingers. The pit grows larger and larger, heavy as rock, hard as steel.

I pass it off as nothing. All in my head, nothing of significance. But this rock, this sensation, leaves me hyper aware.

Each movement shoots throughout my body, ricocheting off of every surface. Any tingle, shiver or prickle is felt in every nerve, magnified by my growing alertness.

And this greater attention leads to a realization, an understanding of this feeling. My depths are screaming to be let out, stopping at nothing to be heard.

I fall, deeper and deeper into my head; I am below the surface, unaware of the world around me. This pit, this feeling, is overtaking me.

The vines wrap around my brain, my eyes, anything they can grasp, bringing darkness to my world and shutting out any understanding.

My hands are immobile, unresponsive to my commands. These vines suffocate me, wrapping around my neck and my brain, squeezing tighter and tighter.

I have lost all ability to speak – to guide and to oversee. Dark clouds loom over my last drop of consciousness, obscuring my last speck of assurance.

I have lost control.

Photo Credit: http://www.markraymondmason.com