So I found myself looking deep in the eyes of a green eyed boy with dark hair and an illuminating smile and felt the corners of my moth turn upwards on their own.
What is this feeling? I tend to know what feelings rush through my body, but this human has created a new, different, unusual feeling. There is no sort of nervous fear or butterflies, there is just this comfortable glow surrounding the green eyed boy.
Am I finding myself falling…?
Falling for what you ask? Well simply put, I do not know. The only thing I can relate to the feeling of the green eyed boy is falling.
It is not a bad sort of falling, but rather a floating or soaring, but weightless none the less.
I think I am okay with this new feeling entering my body, but I am still very perplexed by the unknown sense that looking into the green eyes of the boy with the dark brown hair and illuminating smile brings to me.
A couple days ago, one of my friends introduced me to the youtube series “Don’t Hug me. I’m scared.” Before she played it, she told me it was gonna be pretty weird and messed up. I have to admit, she was definitely right about that.
It starts out looking like a children’s TV show. Strange puppets in bright colors in a room made of felt and fabric, all in a Sesame Street kind of style.
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Credit: images.genius.com
Every episode follows the same pattern. It starts out somewhat normal, then a song begins to play. Each song addresses a subject that is important in today’s society. There is one about being creative, one about time and aging being unstoppable, about love, technology, health, and one about dreams.
Those don’t sound weird at all, do they? Well, just wait.
Because as the video goes on, the song becomes stranger and darker and more twisted, with loud noises and abrupt animations and a surprising amount of blood and death.
Honestly, I don’t even know why I started watching it in the first place. However, I was actually quite impressed by the deeper meaning of the show. Don’t get me wrong, it is creepy and messed up in so many ways. But I like the way it addresses things such as the brainwashing by mass media.
The way that all the “harmless” things and characters in the videos turn into literal nightmares- consuming your entire life, the way the characters get trapped inside a computer- and killed when they try to escape, or how you can only be accepted by people around you by joining the cult of love perfectly captures certain things that are wrong with our world and society, in an extremely twisted but ironic manner.
I don’t necessarily recommend anyone to watch this show, since I’m not really sure if it was or wasn’t a complete waste of time, or if the producers actually meant to be that deep. But in case you are looking for a great way to waste time, just watch it! It is definitely unique.
I love my dad.
I don’t know any other immense, bottomless love.
During times of difficulty, he has been my rock and laid out the foundations for a secure home.
The only thing that scares me is how old my father is.
I mean, I am in no form ashamed of his age. My dad is 80 and he hasn’t failed to love me for a single day.
However, I do get worried.
Sometimes, when he does certain things, I feel a little tug on my heart.
For example, his once steady and strong hands tremble. His fingers move very slow and systematically.
He cannot stand for over 20 minutes at a time.
His sight is slowly slipping away; He can’t drive after the sun begins to set.
He gets sick more often. My father, man who hadn’t caught a cold in so many years, finally caught one this year and he is still trying to recover.
I know these are all natural, especially for someone so elderly. However, he is my father, and I can’t help but get a little sad to see him slowing down.
However, none of these symptoms of old age make me love him any less. Although I have been attending a boarding school 2 hours away from home for the past 5 years of my life and I don’t talk to him nearly as much as I should, he still remains number 1 in my heart, my blessing from God.
I hope that everybody gets to experience such a love. It is overwhelming and wonderful. It motivates you and places you on the right path. It lifts you up and betters you. It moves you without words. It is so powerful and definitely one of the greatest emotions God has given to his people.
My father allowed me to be the person I want to be. When I am older, I want to be able to give the same selfless, unconditional love to my children.
I love you dad, always. I will continue to try to be the best me I can. Hope your cold goes away soon!
Only the buzz of a the car rolling on the freeway.
Above her head, black expanse broken by the single, flickering light of a plane.
That was the first time she ever truly wished she could run, escape. Get out of this stuffy car. Away from all of the stress and pressure. To find Some reprieve, Some momentary peace, Somewhere far away.
If only she could be on that plane that was slowly crossing the night sky. If only she could switch lives with the driver that drove parallel to the car she was in. If she could leave…if. If.
Oh, and how she wanted to SCREAM. It seemed sometimes that was the only way to keep her sanity. To scream. But she could not.
She couldn’t bear telling her father, who was sitting behind the wheel. No, that would break his heart. He didn’t need to know. Nobody needs to know.
So, muffled, in her thoughts, she was screaming. Her eyes silently staring ahead.
Miles to go until she got to her destination.
And miles to go until she could start living her life like she wants to.
Instant darkness. The excited yells of frantic girls could be heard across the Upper campus as Ojai Valley School experienced it’s first blackout of the year. Many of us did not know how to react. It was exciting for all-this chaotic, fortuitous occurrence meant that study hall was postponed. A herd of girls began to stream out of the dorms, assembling into the blackhole, but they were soon told by the faculty that this was not a fire drill and that it was okay to be inside the dorms. We retreated. Back inside the black enclosures, people huddled together, walking to their rooms scouring drawers and closets for any source of light they could find: flashlights, cell phones, even laptops.
I was one of the few for whom this was a frightening experience. I have nyctophobia, meaning I am afraid of the dark. My first instinct was to grab my headlamp that had been so handy during dark nights camping out in the Eastern Sierras just two weeks back. It was just my luck when I snapped out of my frantic state and realized my headlamp was upstairs, in the storage room. It was a scary journey up but when the dorm parent on duty, Ms. Smith, opened up the room, I dashed in there to find the precious light source.
I walked back downstairs with a new sense of calm, the light from my headlamp illuminating the way back to my seat in the girls lounge. There, Mama asked passing girls where their flashlights and headlamps were. Apparently, we were supposed to keep them in our rooms, in case of emergency like this. Weird. In my four years at Ojai Valley School, this is the first blackout I have ever experienced. This was also the first time I have ever heard anybody tell me that I needed to keep an emergency headlamp just chilling in my room. The only girl I witnessed having a headlamp handy was Zooey. I guess we all didn’t get the memo.
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