Tag: growth

Curly Hair

brownbeansLeave a comment

As a kid, my hair was straight. I don’t know if it was naturally straight or if it was because my hair was always brushed out. But, since puberty, my hair has become unruly and curly.

No one tells you how hard it is to care for hair that no one else in your family has. When I was younger, my mom would spend a lot of time brushing and detangling my hair to put it into intricate hairstyles to tame it. I would hate having my hair done. It was always too tight and too stiff. But my hair was so long that it went past my waist.

Then, I started experimenting with my hair, I dyed it many colors and had it at many lengths. It was here when my hair started to curl and frizz. I didn’t know how to deal with curls or waves, so I would brush them out and hope for the best. But, slowly, I started to do research and experiment with things until I settled on a routine that works and gives me what I want. Finding the right products took forever! I would buy one thing and hope that it worked, and if it didn’t, I had to finish the product before I could buy something new.

If you go back through the yearbooks, you’ll find me and my brushed-out hair from freshman year. But you’ll also be able to see how much I’ve learned and grown. My hair and I as a person.

credit: Pinterest

note to self

poofypuffyLeave a comment

Dear Friend,

I feel we never get to talk anymore.

It’s not your fault, I know we are both very busy.

But are we really? If I have the time to lay on the floor and scroll on my phone for hours, if I have the time to sit and do nothing everywhere- in lunch lines, in cars, in classrooms, shouldn’t I have found a moment for you? I should have and I’m sorry.

It’s not all my fault though. You lay on the same floor, scroll the same phone, stand in the same lines, sit in the same car, wait out the same classes. You should have found time. 

I think sometimes, I just don’t like you very much. I’d just rather scroll on my phone and think about nothing than work through anything with you. You’ve let me down a lot, and sometimes I don’t even know if I trust you. You forget things that you really should have remembered, and you say things when you really should have kept your mouth shut. When I am feeling down, I play those things over and over again in my head sometimes, until I feel worse. But I know I shouldn’t. It’s not your fault you can’t be perfect all the time, even though sometimes I wish you were.

You are a person that is allowed to make mistakes, and sometimes that comes in the form of a lapse in memory or a slip of the tongue. I know you try to do what you think is right, and you have grown as a person and will continue to do so. It’s not fair for me to judge you so harshly, because I don’t judge anyone I love so harshly, and I, of all people, should have some love for you.

Love, Yourself

Picture Credit: Daniel Dan

Soccer

graypenguinLeave a comment

The thing I have been most passionate about is soccer. I started playing soccer in Junior high school with my friends, and it has helped me grow in many ways. One of them is to have a goal and never give up until the end. I was very clumsy in kicking, lifting, and everything else I did for the first year. However, I went out to the field and practiced from 8:00 in the morning with the goal of lifting more than 100 times during the year, and I was able to lift more than 700 times in a row. The other thing is leadership skills. I became the captain of the soccer team and took on the role of organizing everyone. At first, I was unfamiliar with many things and had a hard time talking to people, but now I can talk to people on my own. Soccer has given me not only a sense of fun and maintenance, but it has also helped me grow as a person.
I am not sure now if I will play soccer this winter season, but soccer is my youth and I would like to continue to play it.

pc:me

On a Mountain, Under a Tree, Above the Clouds

brachiosaurus15Leave a comment

A wise man once said to me that your trauma is not something that can be resolved. A person must take what has happened to them and learn how to survive alongside the pain, and instead of it consuming you, it becomes apart of you.

A wise man once said to me that I was meant to be great. I am not destined to do one monumental thing, he said, I am destined to be monumental.

A wise man once said to me that life was a seed that everyone is encouraged to plant. Some will plant their seed with the best of soil and it will still fail to grow. Some will grow in the crevice of two boulders, striped of all nurtience, and explode into an extraordinary tree.

A wise man once said to me that reading stories about the crystal blue sea or the towering mountains that forever reached to the heavens was not enough. He said to me that I must dive deep into salty water, and let the cold chill take over my body. He told me that I must drown in experiences, and that I must lay above the clouds.

A wise man once told me that my life is a piece of nothing in the scheme of infinity, a single electron in the sun’s ever-burning fire. He told me that beyond my sunken world there was a blackness that stretched out so far that if I were to walk the path of infinity for my entire life, I would not reach the starting line.

A wise man stared at me as I stared at him. The fogged mirror didn’t affect how clearly I saw the man looking back at me. As he gripped my eyes he said, don’t waist Oxygen trying to survive, use what you are given and try and live.

Photo Credit:Reddit

You are Alive

horseman69Leave a comment

In a difficult situation, rather than recognizing my own mistake, I tend to look for the wrong in other people. The inertia of others would oftentimes disappoint me. However, I don’t think anyone is really wrong. 

Sometimes you don’t see the flaw in yourself. My best friend Ce is just like me, he often tells me that he is disappointed by this or that person. As an outsider to his problems, I see the flaw perfectly—we place our expectations too high. With a high expectation, feeling disappointed becomes easy. 

This scenario doesn’t just apply to Ce and me, it’s a situation that everyone is facing right now. With the raging coronavirus, limiting our freedom and space, one can only feel disappointed from the news and the inertia of others. However, I urge you to think about life, to appreciate the fact that you’re alive and well and not the medics who wear only scarfs on their faces to fend off the virus.

To be more content with your current situation means that you have to have a low expectation of other people. Just be glad that as of this moment, you, while reading this blog, you are breathing and may have a chance to see tomorrow. 

Photo credit: wallpapertag.com

The last Monday night at 17

unicornownerLeave a comment

This was an extremely tired and annoying Monday, just like all Mondays.

I just had a chocolate cupcake at the lounge for my friend’s 15-year-old birthday.

Walked back to my room, was getting ready for the shower. Suddenly I realized that it is my last Monday night being the age of 17, kind of scary to think about. My birthday is coming soon, so soon. I’ve been waiting for this birthday for a pretty long time. But right now, it suddenly becomes so close, and I am afraid. At the end of this week, my adult life will begin.

photo credit: teefury.com

Be mature, it’s what I always want, at least this is almost what everyone else keeps telling me to do. They keep saying that I am way too childish, the way I am acting is not matching with my age. I guess this is time to make a change. 

It is also the time to be responsible for my own future, that I have been escaping recently. Chose to repeat a year in school, to give myself a little more time and think about it. Now that time is up, there should be an answer to it.

photo credit: insurancejournal.com

growing pain

underwaterismyflyzoneLeave a comment

you’re either the one getting hurt or the one doing the hurting

when you grow apart from someone

such a weird thing

photo credit: pinterest.com

all the years of memories and love and

all the time spent together

suddenly condensed into a single moment when you realize

“we’re so different now”

“we want other things”

“we’ve both changed so much”

or condensed into the single moment where

you realize you simply just don’t see each other anymore

when you don’t have the time you used to for the person

when the reminders of them in everything become reminders of other people

all of the hours, months, years spent together

condensed into the single moment when you realize that you’ve grown apart.

One More Time

backinphillyLeave a comment

This is a pretty emotional blog for me to write being as I’m unsure on my future. This weekend may or may not be the last football game of my career. It’s been an amazing road since I first strapped on the pads. Before I get too sentimental, I would like to point out that there is still a strong chance that I will be eligible to play next year for OVS.

I have been thinking to myself a lot lately about what obstacles and challenges I was forced to face to get where I am today. I wasn’t always a great player. In fact, in my early days, I was down right AWFUL!

I remember my first year of competitive football. We only had one game that season and everyone got a chance to play. It wasn’t really competitive, but it was organized. That season was supposed to introduce the youth of Summit, New Jersey.

That’s exactly what it did. The Summit Hilltoppers had a long tradition of competing for championships annually. My second year of football was a reflection of that tradition. However, none of our success had anything to do with me. Enter Jamie White.

Jamie was a friend of mine. He was a monster of an athlete and he still is to this day. One particular play comes to mind about my youth football days with Jamie White. We were pinned down on our own 5 yard line. We needed 10 yards for the first down but we needed to get away from our end zone. Most teams wouldn’t call a halfback draw right up the middle. That play is usually a short yardage play.

Not for Jamie.

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Tribute

yrreskrap1 Comment

Here it is. June 3rd.
Just five more days until I walk across that stage and receive my diploma.

Who knew high school went by as fast as they said it did?

My five year journey here at Ojai Valley School has been unforgettable.

I started out in 8th grade at the Lower Campus. Although it was a great change from a large school of over 2,000 students, the warm and inviting faculty and friends I met made the adjustment easy.

I had a great year learning how to camp, do my own laundry, and take on the responsibilities of living in a dorm. Not the mention, the close bonds I made with the girls I lived with. It was a different kind of bond than the most of the ones I made in public school. Having lived with these girls, I felt almost as if I was amongst sisters.

So, after graduating, the decision was easy. I knew I wanted to go to Upper for high school.

My freshman year, I roomed with my best friend from Lower, Wendy Lin.

Now let me say something about her. I have been my most vulnerable with Wendy. I opened up to her about things I never really shared with anybody else, and she did the same. So when we roomed together, it was like I was with family. We both knew each other enough not to argue. So when I say, although we had our ups and downs, I am generally talking about the ups when it comes to Wendy. When I think of my freshman year, she is among one of the first people that pop into my mind.

Then there is Lucy Kim. Ah, she is so dear to me. Not only did we click because of our similar humor, she lifted me up when I was down and always was there for me when I needed prayer requests. She also listened to me when I needed her and let me realize that  She even got us transportation to go to church on Sundays so that we could keep our faith, after I told her how hard it was not to go to church.

Cooper, Jeremy, Oussou and Parker. Boy, were they funny people. Of course, when you are that young, seniors seem so much older than they actually are, and these were the people I looked up to. They had close, lasting bonds that were connected by years of laughter. Although they probably had no idea, my senior year was affected so much by the optimism and attitude they brought to the school.

The first half of my sophomore year was spent at Beverly Hills High School. That semester was definitely a learning experience for me. The big public school experience was new to me, having been in a private boarding school of just over 100 students. Regardless, I returned to OVS with a newfound appreciation.

Junior year..was tough. It was full of all nighters and instant food. I was swamped with the workload of 4 AP’s and struggled with balancing time between my studies and my boyfriend of two years. But this is the year that I grew close to Jo Chen and Maddie, two of my best friends today! However, it was also the year that Jo, Maddie, Lucy, and my boyfriend had graduated so the graduation was marked with strong emotions.

This year, graduation means something completely different.

It means five years of going to school in Ojai is coming to a close. It means growth. It means Reika, Sungjin, and Anni. It means Mr. Alvarez’s words of encouragement and Mr. Cooper’s long speeches on integrity. It means Mr. Weidlich running with the lacrosse team and Mrs. Colborn’s team comp announcements. It means Chico’s waffles every Wednesday morning. It means Mrs. Allen’s bake sales and the IOU’s that follow. It means Haldy’s jokes and Eddy’s motorcycle videos and Mr. and Mrs. Boyd’s wonderful singing and camping trips with Mrs. Davis. It is so much.

It kind of makes me want to stay a little longer.

That’s how much I love this place.

Thank you everybody for making this experience what it was. It has been a fabulous 5 years. I loved every minute of it.

The Importance of Competition

therightliberalLeave a comment

It is often said that I am too competitive, and this may very well be the case. However, I make the argument, time and time again, about the importance of competition.

You see, competition is what drives us to greatness. Intrinsic motivation, though powerful, hardly ever has the motivating power of external motivation. This is evolutionary, and has served us well.

Think of all the great thing that have come about due to competition; space travel, new building techniques and all the technology that has come from war.

Competition fuels us, pushing us to work harder and faster. This is how we advance, how we build.

Many people think of competition only regarding sporting events and such, but I know that I am personally motivated by competition in the classroom. I want to be the best in whatever I do.

And there is the key: being the best.

I feel that too many people do not push themselves, they simply sit back and let the world push them around.

I know this is inevitable, that some people will be more motivated by others. Yet I also feel that we have culturally shifted to allow for many more people to act passively while a smaller group controls them.

This “movement” may very well have to do why things are changing so quickly with things like the Occupy Movement and such.

So lets stand up and get motivated, because winning is just so fun.