Tag: life

Bugs

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Normally, I love bugs. Beetles, bees, centipedes, or anything remotely interesting to look at that other people see as gross or weird. It brings me comfort, in an odd way. Though I like bugs, I don’t like them in my living vicinity.

Ants have been scattered throughout my bathroom, which was odd, because I didn’t have anything open or food or anything in my bathroom, so of course, I tried to kill as many as I could. They were annoying. Getting on my towel, on my sink, just everywhere. I finally killed them all, until today.

Today, after dinner, I was walking to my room, saying goodnight to my parents. Then, I see about a million of those six-legged creatures beneath my feet. Obviously, weirded out, I cleaned them up, killing around 6 or 7 generations of them, since my mom was recovering from surgery and my dad just wanted to relax. I like ants for the environment, but maybe not in my house and on my bare feet.

So now I write this blog to you, with ants crawling up my legs and down my arms, going into the parts of my computer. They’re.. they’re just.. everywhere.

P.C. – Google, “guy cleaning floor”

Sick

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Credit: Google

I hate being sick. When I’m sick, everything sucks. From the never-ending headache all the way to the sore throat. It’s that one minute when you might feel fine, and the next you feel like your body is made of lead and weighs 3,000 pounds. The thing I hate most of all is the sore throat. It makes me feel like you have just swallowed a million glass shards, and each one is getting stuck in my esophagus.

The pain feels never-ending, even when I find a way to relieve it, it quickly returns. My solution to this is usually to drink the hottest thing I can get my hands on, from just regular hot water to tea with honey. It isn’t just the symptoms that make getting sick horrible; it is also the days you miss.

When you’re sick, you miss out on a lot of things, too, from homework to current events. When you do get better, you realise you still have to make up for the work you missed and hear everything that happened second-hand.

The future

unicorn123Leave a comment

In the past few weeks, I’ve had an overwhelming feeling of nostalgia. I haven’t fully come to terms with the fact that I will be going to college and changing my entire life in less than a year. Everything I’ve grown up with and experienced my entire life is about to be turned around. I feel nostalgic towards the past three years here. All of my funny memories with my best friends. Having sleepovers every night, laughing until we cry. While I feel so sad about having to leave all that, there is nothing I’m more excited about than moving on with my life. I feel like I’ve gotten to a point where I am ready to figure out my future career and a new life. I can’t wait to move away and get away from stupid, immature, petty high school drama. There is nothing more draining than dealing with some stupid drama every few weeks. I hope that in college, that stops happening because it’s actually so unbearable. I am excited for the future, but I will miss everything I will leave behind. 

PC: Google

Things that make me happy

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Recently, I have been so unmotivated. Senioritis has hit me a little too hard. I spent weeks slaving away on my college applications, and it drained the life out of me. School has sucked everything out of me. Homework, capstones, work, social life, and everything else are actually exhausting. But I have still found a motivation to stay happy, so here’s a list of things that do make me happy. 

  1. Making my bed in the morning makes my life feel more put together and clean.
  2. Sleeping in after a long week of school.
  3. Hot pilates, so relaxing and calms me down
  4. My cat because she’s so cute.
  5. Going out to eat, nothing beats getting good food from a nice restaurant with my friends.
  6. Watching a good show after a long day at school.
  7. Burning hot showers.
  8. My water bottle keeps me hydrated
  9. shopping
  10. Music on the way to school.
  11. Driving to school in the morning 

These are things that keep me grounded and happy during such an overwhelming time.

PC: Google

Things That Make Me Happy

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In a time full of uncertainty, I think it is important to remember all the things that make me happy!

  1. Oaxacan Food, specifically Tlayudas
  2. My friends!!! I love them so much
  3. My sister. She’s kind of weird, but so am I.
  4. My limited edition “Western” Hydroflask, I like to think the bronze flowers are Aztec Marigolds, and that the water bottle is a limited edition Day of the Dead water bottle.
  5. WATER! I love ice-cold water even if it is bad for me.
  6. Lip gloss. I don’t think I could live with perpetually chapped lips
  7. Music. It feeds my soul and helps me feel connected to my culture from thousands of miles away.
  8. AirPods! They help me get immersed in the scene of my music.
  9. Day 1 Curls. Having freshly washed hair with the perfect curls is the best feeling ever.
  10. Tortilla House! Whenever I am having a bad week, I make sure to go to Tortilla House and get the most loaded burrito bowl.

I am just happy to be alive with a full belly and a roof over my head.

credit: Pinterest

November 1st

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I don’t think I’ve written more in my life than in the past few weeks. I had eight college deadlines on November 1st, and I decided to complete my work at the last minute. I just submitted half of my college applications, and I’m honestly done. I feel like the amount of work students do building up to applying to college is enough. Going through a tedious process of reviewing everything I’ve done with my life over the past eighteen years, with a word limit, feels impossible. I’m trying to manifest that I will get into lots of colleges, but I’m also not delusional. I missed one of the best weekends of the year, sick and doing college work, and I just hope that I get good karma from this. On top of all of this college work, I keep forgetting that I actually have school work, but that seems more like a tomorrow problem.

“Working Typing” by Bench Accounting/ CC0 1.0

Be Your Own Coach

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The other day, as I was scrolling on TikTok, I came across a girl’s page, and I watched her pinned videos. I instantly got blasted back to last year when I was doing the exact same thing, and her words changed my mindset. Last year was not the best for me mentally. I had a lot of stuff going on in my personal life, and it was interfering with my relationships and academics. I would drown myself in my school work so I wouldn’t have to think about my life. One of my ways of distracting myself would be to spend hours upon hours on TikTok. It was one of these hours that I saw that girl’s video.

The gist of it was to be your own coach. She said to imagine that you are a coach, that is your whole purpose in life, and the only reason you are put on Earth. As a coach, you are stuck with one human from their birth until their death. You get to put thoughts in their head, make them do stuff, etc. As a coach, you don’t want to insult your human and make them feel bad; you want them to fulfill their life the best way they want. You are the coach to yourself.

This completely changed the way I talked to myself. I was so used to comparing myself to others who I thought accomplished so much more than I did, I forgot my purpose in life. I went from putting tons of pressure on myself to letting myself relax. It took some time for this adjustment to be fully implemented in my life, but when it did, I was doing so much better. Why would I be mean to myself? It is my first time on Earth, just like everyone else. When times get rough, I try to be the best coach I can be. The TikToker might’ve thought her video was just some dumb TikTok, but it genuinely helped me get out of a hard time in my life. I am so thankful for her.

credit: Pinterest

From here and from there

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There is a saying in Spanish for the children of immigrants, “Ni de aqui, ni de allà “. It translates to: neither from here nor from there. As a mixed child of immigrants, it is hard to feel like you belong in either place.

Whenever I go to Mexico, I immediately feel like I don’t fit in. Most people in my mom’s hometown are 100% indigenous with a short stature, straight hair, and traditional clothing. Most of the American kids who visit have two indigenous parents, so they at least look similar to the townspeople. But I stick out. My dad is from a different region with very different features. Those features being curly hair and a taller stature.

Then I come back to school, and I am one of four students with Mexican heritage. Although, growing up in LA has made me feel like a part of a community. I cannot imagine how hard it would be for people growing up in predominantly white spaces. Sometimes I feel like I am too Mexican, and it is a hard balance.

I think the saying is ignorant. As more immigrants come to this country, there is a community for us to belong to. In cities with a lot of Latinos, a culture is forming. In LA, there is a stereotype of the average city Latino. As much as people want to exclude us from their spaces, we will make our own space and thrive. I am from both here and there.

credit: Pinterest

My Week

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I have already been overwhelmed. The amount of college supplementals and essays on top of my capstone, on top of all my difficult classes, and my busy week at work. I have been overwhelmed, but that’s just what comes with being a senior. Yet every time things start to look up, I’m pushed back down. Last week, my car started flashing lights at me. I called my dad, and after a long inspection, he told me he had to fix a belt on it (I don’t know what that means at all), so I would be unable to drive it. I was annoyed, but it was fine; I could borrow my mom’s car for a day or two. The next day, my dad had still not started on my car. He told me it would take less than an hour to fix, yet he hadn’t started. I was frustrated but moved on. As I pulled into my driveway in my mom’s van, I saw a 3-foot hole dug into my driveway. I was confused, but I walked inside. I was then told that a pipe burst connecting to my pool, so we had to turn the water off. I was again frustrated; I wouldn’t be able to shower, wash my face, or brush my teeth. I went to my friend’s house to do those things, and when I got back, I smelled a putrid smell coming from my dog. I ran inside and was told he had been sprayed by a skunk. The smell was too terrible, so I had to go back to my friend’s house. Since the water was off, my dog was unable to get a bath. This all went on, and I tried to stay positive throughout the week. Eventually, my car, the pipe, and the dog were all fixed. I don’t get why senior year has to be so hard.

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Homesick

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Imagine going from the tranquil flows of crystal-clear water, lush towering mountains, and uncultivated lands to a place like Ojai. Look, don’t get me wrong—Ojai has its beauty, tons of it at that—but there is this feeling that the air in Hawai‘i gives me. I’m not just talking about the sticky humidity; I’m talking about the feeling of being so disconnected from the world. Miles and miles of deep blue depth surround you entirely, yet you are safe on a tiny island—and alive, more alive than anywhere else.

I have traveled to many places in the world and seen the serene beauty of each diverse landscape, but nothing will ever compare to my home. I know every pothole in the road and every path to the ocean. Store owners have watched me grow up from behind a register, and first-time introductions are a rare occurrence.

There is always this tugging feeling, like you are never quite comfortable anywhere else, when you are inescapably tethered to an island. It’s hard to explain such a strange feeling to someone who has never lived there, but I believe it’s a feeling that will never fully go away.

pc – rumi