Nostalgia hits hard

Nostalgia isn’t just a feeling, it’s a crash of emotions that befalls you when it’s the most unexpected. Not just homesickness, but a mix of remembrance and sadness, as you’re only nostalgic when you are not home, stranded, helpless.

Nostalgia may be a current of water. It flows from your head to your stomach, then back to your eyes, uncontrollable, rolling out like a waterfall. Sometimes you don’t realize its existence until your mouth takes a sip of that salty drop.

You’d laugh at your woe and call it odd, but the current will not halt. So I comfort myself. Don’t cry, child, for you don’t have time for it now.

Nostalgia is more than a feeling. I hope whoever has it can return to their loved ones in a short while. 

Nevertheless, will you still miss your home, if your lover is stranded as well?

(I’m a Chinese international student in the US. Because of certain policies that were made for the coronavirus, I cannot go back home. I don’t know when I’ll get the chance to meet my family and friends. The uncertainty is a real menace, it’s eating me alive. What if something happens to someone whom I love while I’m overseas? What if at the end of the day I’m left behind as the only one living? The uncertainty is killing me. I hope everything goes well in China, I hope there’ll be an antidote for this madness. I feel really helpless and overwhelmed because there’s literally nothing I could contribute to better the situation, I could only sit and watch the number of infected and deaths go up and wish that my circle of people has nothing to do with it. It’s truly rotten when you are a spectator of your fellow countrymen’s deaths. 

I just hope things go well. I’m praying for a change.)

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I have a bad case of itchy foot

The itchy foot runs through my leg

When I itch the itch it numbs my toes

Through my foot it goes

And all the way into my calf

It feels like the beginning of poison oak

The sweltering alergic reaction

That has plagued me since days old

I feel the familiar itch

The friendly ooze

The glorious disgusting hot irritated mess that is poison oak

But not quite

It’s just one singular bulb

One little plague bubonic

A tiny little boil

A reminder of bare feet in mosquito territory

A reminder like a cracked phone screen

Or a scar on your arm

Something you see everyday

A reminder of something you forgot

Like her face in my camera roll

Like looking back at just how perfect it has been

Because so often I took photos when things were good

When I wasn’t staring at a blank google doc

An image stamped in my skull

When it was incredible

Or when it was supremely funny

Or when it hurt like a mountain insurmountable

And when I scroll back and see these myrtle memories

For an instant I feel that excitement that takes me back

That yearning for days old

But not for a million dollars

Not for an ounce of that love that I felt

Would I miss a second of the now

It’s weird

But I scratched the itch

And honestly it doesn’t itch anymore

A Stroll Down Memory Lane

Recently, I was feeling quite nostalgic and took a trip down memory lane into my childhood, and tried to remember some of the things that made it so great.

Here are a few things that I hope I can go back to one day, just to re-live those memories.

#1: Play-doh

This was the most amazing stuff when I was young. It could turn into ANYTHING. Dinosaurs, cars, spaghetti – and it came in so many colors. I remember I used to make it with my mom and we would dye it with food coloring, so we could make it any color we wanted.

#2: Etch-A-Sketch

These were so fun, and so hard to actually draw anything on, but they entertained me for hours on end.

#3: Saturday Morning Cartoons

Waking up early to watch my favorite cartoons. It would sit there for a few hours and waste away 3 hours just hanging out with my sister and laughing at our favorite shows.

#4: Where’s Waldo?

Spending an hour looking at pictures of little people and trying to find some dude in a striped red sweater… It was the most pointless activity that somehow kept me completely entertained.

#5: TY Beanie Babies

Every time I went to the store, there would be a new one I wanted to get. They were the best items to collect.

#6: Legos

BEST. THINGS. EVER. I had a spaceship kit that was Always my favorite. Even when I was just sticking random blocks together, it was fun.

#7: Mario Cart Racing

I would always lose, but my brother and I would play this all the time.

#8: The Magic School Bus

I would be so excited to watch this in class some days during school. I mean, that school bus was so awesome, I always wished my teacher had one of those busses.

#9: Lunchables

I would feel like the coolest kid having on of these for lunch in elementary school. Everyone was jealous. It was so much better than a PB&J like everyone else had.

#10: Pillow/Blanket Forts

They were like a whole new world. They were fun to make and were amazing places to hide out and do whatever you wanted. I miss these too much.