Tag: personal

Break

pottymouth818Leave a comment

Thanksgiving 2023. 

I spent Thanksgiving this year in Mammoth. I essentially did nothing and that in itself was amazing. I got to catch up on family time including going on hours of dog walks with my mom. I also loved seeing that there was finally some snow on the ground.

I’m not sure if it’s surprising to me or not but the highlight of Mammoth was going to see the new Hunger Games movie with my family. What was surprising was how much my brother enjoyed the movie. That was something I didn’t expect. I’ve always loved watching all the Hunger Games movies but my brother hadn’t even seen all the movies in the series. Since watching the Prequel I’ve successfully gotten him to watch them all; As his sister, this is a big accomplishment. 

The best part of the movie though was when my mom emulated every Karen in the world and told 3 annoying girls to stop talking. The greatest thing about this spectacle was the way multiple other random people in the movie theater joined in and told them to be quiet. 

Being a dormer you really start to appreciate the time spent with your family because it unfortunately becomes few and far between. 

The enthusiasm for watching movies then continued throughout break as my parents and I later watched the movie NYAD. I liked the movie but I did find the main character rather annoying. She was so intense and abrasive the entire time. I wouldn’t want to be friends with her. Despite my feelings about her, the movie was great. My mom loved it the most out of the three of us; she loves movies about crazy athletic achievements. 

“Old Mammoth Road. Original image from Carol M. Highsmith’s America, Library of Congress collection. Digitally enhanced by rawpixel.” by Carol M Highsmith/ CC0 1.0

note to self

poofypuffyLeave a comment

Dear Friend,

I feel we never get to talk anymore.

It’s not your fault, I know we are both very busy.

But are we really? If I have the time to lay on the floor and scroll on my phone for hours, if I have the time to sit and do nothing everywhere- in lunch lines, in cars, in classrooms, shouldn’t I have found a moment for you? I should have and I’m sorry.

It’s not all my fault though. You lay on the same floor, scroll the same phone, stand in the same lines, sit in the same car, wait out the same classes. You should have found time. 

I think sometimes, I just don’t like you very much. I’d just rather scroll on my phone and think about nothing than work through anything with you. You’ve let me down a lot, and sometimes I don’t even know if I trust you. You forget things that you really should have remembered, and you say things when you really should have kept your mouth shut. When I am feeling down, I play those things over and over again in my head sometimes, until I feel worse. But I know I shouldn’t. It’s not your fault you can’t be perfect all the time, even though sometimes I wish you were.

You are a person that is allowed to make mistakes, and sometimes that comes in the form of a lapse in memory or a slip of the tongue. I know you try to do what you think is right, and you have grown as a person and will continue to do so. It’s not fair for me to judge you so harshly, because I don’t judge anyone I love so harshly, and I, of all people, should have some love for you.

Love, Yourself

Picture Credit: Daniel Dan

Best Feelings

godgoldngloryLeave a comment

Because I always tend to write negative blogs, I figured that this week I’d try to write about something positive. So, here is my list of the best feelings in the world.

Making someone genuinely laugh, being so happy you can’t even explain it, sneezing, listening to music in the car and lip-syncing along, seeing the waiter bring your food out, looking out the window in the morning to fresh snow, laughing so hard you can’t breathe, sitting down after spending hours cleaning, when ALL your knuckles crack with relatively no pain, relaxing after being extremely productive, late night drives (bonus points if with music), taking a shower after practice, sleeping in after you deserve it, receiving unexpected gifts, climbing into clean sheets with freshly shaved legs, having really deep/ long conversations, taking your heels off, getting a good grade on an assignment you thought you did bad on, Christmas morning, holding hands with someone special, singing in the shower, cozying up when it’s cold outside, when you like your fit and you get compliments, waking up and realizing you still have a couple hours to sleep, getting told that you’re missed, screaming songs in the car with your friends, when your cats want to cuddle, being proud of something you cooked/baked, taking a photo with someone you love, when your food is hitting the exact right spots, eating ice cream while on a walk, when your notes for school look really good an aesthetic, getting lost in a book, those head scratcher things, and super duper long hugs.

Sneezing: 10 Reasons, Causes, and Triggers

PC: https://www.houstonent.com/hs-fs/hubfs/blog%20images/why%20do%20i%20sneeze%201.jpg?width=1600&name=why%20do%20i%20sneeze%201.jpg

The World

justthatonegirllLeave a comment

The world is just actually so beautiful. The colors flood through the ocean, the mountains, to the empty plains. The blossoming flowers, bloom over the mountaintops. The sun rising turns the sky a flume of pinks purples and oranges. The admirable ocean blue hues. The twinkle of the waves as they break along the shoreline. At night the stars light up the sky creating a pattern and light shining down on the quiet night. The sun shining at the perfect angle to light up the perfectly imperfect flower. The wind blowing the grass of the field where the horses run. While the rain pours it pounds down on the wet cement the clouds create a gray glare along the wet world. The pollution us humans bring are destroying the beauty of the quiet earth we love.

PC:Me

Sewing

justthatonegirllLeave a comment

This is just going to be a general blog post. Okay, so basically, I started sewing when I was 6 years old. I lived with my grandparents and would switch houses during the week. Sunday-Wednesday morning with my Nana and Wednesday night to Sunday morning with my Grandma and Grandpa. During my time with my Nana I she taught me how to sew. We would have our weekly sewing lesson, which I always looked forward to. If we didn’t finish our lesson that day it would continue to the next. And we did this for as long as I can remember. Till I grew up. I got busy. Recently I have been pretty into some art things. And I want to pick up sewing again. So I texted my Nana and she got me a new sewing machine. I am so excited to start back up on this once loved hobby. I would make my dolls clothes. I would make Christmas presents for the people I loved. Since I have been excited to pick this back up I have just been looking all over Pinterest and I have so many things I want to make. I am so excited I think this is going to be so fun. Not only can I do this for my own well-being but if I get good, this can be a good thing to put in my college portfolios. Anyway I am just so excited to make cute stuff.

PC: Me

Music

kittenqueen3Leave a comment

I used to hate listening to music while doing homework because I swore I could never focus with music playing. Over the summer, I was traveling a lot, and all I did was listen to music. I almost always had an Airpod in, which made my trip so much better. My family is very loud and chaotic especially when traveling. I often get travel anxiety as I always feel like I forgot something and worry about being on time as my mom is notoriously late. Music became my escape whenever my family would get too loud or I would feel overwhelmed. I would put on my noise-canceling headphones and turn on some music. I often make a new playlist as I get bored and my music taste constantly evolves. I’ve been listening to a lot of Drake, Taylor Swift, Frank Ocean, SZA, Travis Scott, Alex G, Future, Cigarettes After Sex, and Olivia Rodrigo. My music taste isn’t very original but I enjoy it and stay tuned for a blog on my Spotify wrapped.

“Headphones Music” by JESHOOTS.com/ CC0 1.0

chem is not for me

kittenqueen3Leave a comment

I’ve always struggled with science but chemistry is extremely humbling. Last year I did really well in biology getting a 96% on my final and having a 93 in the class. I was very confident going into chemistry but I have yet to succeed in anything so far. I have failed every test or quiz and struggled badly every night on the homework. I have taken time to watch videos explaining the topics but I still need help understanding. Chemistry is a notoriously hard class and I believe I could do it but I truly can’t. I have a test on Monday and I plan on spending my weekend studying although I am certain that I am going to fail. Today I have a review session during class and we are taking a practice test I have a feeling I’m going to fail that as well. I hope this test goes well.

Girlhood

justthatonegirllLeave a comment

Girlhood is the best and the worst thing that can happen to anyone. I love girlhood so much, but I really hate girlhood at the same time. Girlhood is getting ready with your friends for something exciting, but girlhood is also not getting invited to things you really want to be at. Girlhood is screaming songs at the top of your lungs living like nothing else is relevant. Girlhood is having your late night hot tub talks with your best friends. What is girlhood? Girlhood is happiness, sadness, and everything else in between all mixed together. I feel as if I have not experienced enough in my life that events and people are stopping me. I want to experience girlhood with a group of friends who I enjoy being around. Sometimes finding the people is hard. As a teenage girl emotions are all over the place. One second you are having the best time of your life and the next you are wondering why you were not invited to something. Finding the best group of friends is the hardest part. Some girls are clicky and there is no way they will welcome anyone into anything they have going on. Others are too opened right from the start. And some you just are so unaware how to approach the situation. As someone who goes to a small private boarding school finding people is hard. There are the day students and the dorming students. Practically separate for me. The dorming students all live together so it is really hard to bond with them. I am also the only girl day student in my entire grade so that separates me off from them a bit. There is absolutely no connection. The senior class has some of the sweetest people you will ever meet but they are super hard to connect with besides a few who I actually have connected with. The connections made with some of the senior girls creates a stone in my path of navigating through girlhood. I went to a concert with 2 of the senior girls and just relating and bonding over music created a core memory in my path along girlhood. The bonds created with people while experiencing girlhood is undescribable. Recently my best friend and I have a fallout which was definitely a hardship through girlhood. After over a month of us on non speaking terms she stepped up and reached out to me. So many people are telling me so many different things. Some are saying “don’t be friends with her again,” some are saying, “you should definitely try to reconnect with her.” So of course I went to dinner with her. Right from the start it was immediately not awkward. We went to dinner and were at the dinner for 3 hours catching up on eachothers lives. Not talking to my best friend of 10 years for a whole month is crazy to think about. That is girlhood. The best friends that last a lifetime. The ones who stay even after the biggest argument and still love each other. That is what girlhood means to me. Everyone gets jealous over someone else’s life at some point in time but why waste time being upset over something that won’t matter later in life and just live in the moment. Some words I saw and will never forget are, “its everyone’s first time living to not just yours.”

PC: Me

Shopping Addict

justthatonegirllLeave a comment

If I had a bad addiction it would definitely be shopping. My shopping addiction is getting out of hand. Girl math creates a bigger issue for my shopping problem. Let me explain. Girl math is if a sweater I want is 100 dollars that is like 10 dollars per wear is I wear it 10 times. If I wear it more than it is technically free or has a discount. If I decide to go to erewhon one day and by a Hailey Beiber smoothie they that is worth like 4 starbucks trips so I won’t go to starbucks for 4 days. From experiencing this first hand, I can let you know not this live and think like this. So shopping…. my biggest love in life is my clothes. I just love clothes with everything I have in me. When I step into a shop I really like I get out of hand my brain starts moving at 100 miles an hour and I blackout. By the time I hit the dressing room I start to plan what shirt goes with what pants, what do I need to buy so I can make this shirt I am so obsessed with 10x cuter than it is, and what do I have at home that will perfect this item. My shopping addiction is definitely better than having a full blow addiction because I can control it and set boundaries for myself. That is not so say it is not still an issue. I went shopping probably about a month ago 2 weeks in a row… that is not allowed to happen again. I had to set a limit for my self that I was not allowed to go shopping for 2 months now. And right this second I am thinking I should go shopping before dance to get another pair of lulu dance pants. I have my reasons. Anyways this is just my rant about how I need to stop shopping and get a better hobbie for myself. Love you all bye!

PC: Me

My future plan.

justthatonegirllLeave a comment

To think about what the future holds is daunting. The me one year ago would have no idea what to think of my life today. As everyone gets older life gets harder. Loved ones pass, and people come and go in the lives we all have. As a person who overthinks so much, I of course already have a blueprint of the future I want for myself. I spend hours on Pinterest scrolling through the lives of others building up a plan. My future life will have to be aesthetic duh…just kidding. The future I want for myself does consist of “perfection,” but the faults in life will bleed through ruining the idea of a “perfect” life. This is how I want it. Of course, I will like for my life to be cute but I want others around me to realize not everything in life is perfect and everyone has their own faults and issues occuring. Anyway, enough with reality. I romanticize what college I will attend, leading into my lifelong career to support the family I want for myself. I am not really sure where I want to live but I have many ideas. Maybe somewhere the leaves will turn brown and at the least an hour or two away from some form of a beach. Something extremely personally important to me in my plan is for my kids to not have to go through childhood as I did. With this I want to take my skills I have now implement my skills into things for college and create the best life I can give to myself. Anyways since I have been sick I have been on Pinterest a lot so I have been obv making a Pinterest board about it so I thought I would write about it. Bye!

PC: me