continuing on

i’m stressed.

beyond words, feelings, and emotions.

i feel the whole world watching my next move but every step i take is somehow five steps backward.

i know that if i tell someone it would help me so much, but if i tell someone it will hurt the person i care about most.

this person means so much to me and i don’t want to hurt them in any manner.

but the weight of what they don’t know is closing in on me and it may kill me before they realize.

i can’t allow them to continue because i know that by the end they will be hurt worse than before.

 

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my heart races when it’s brought up and tears grow in my eyes.

i could cry for hours and hours but still no one would notice.

and who could i tell?

i can’t confide in them because it’ll hurt me too much and i can’t confide in anyone else, it’ll just hurt them.

i’m so scared for them, because when the truth is released it will slowly break them, until they are nothing and i am nothing.

if i tell them, i will break as well, they will lose their trust in me just like i have lost it in myself.

how have i gone on this long without breaking is beyond my understanding?

but now i am breaking.

i’m crumbling.

and no one seems to notice.

i’ll be gone and everyone will continue on.

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pieces

i hope i’m not asking too much of you.

i’m not asking you to fix me,

because that wouldn’t be fair.

i’m not asking you to accept me with wide open arms,

but i’d love that.

i don’t want you to be my friend,

because we’ve never truly worked as just friends before.

i wish we weren’t on different time zones,

we always fall out of infatuation when the other falls in.

i hope that we don’t crumble apart,

because i can’t handle another landslide.

just like i’m sure you can’t handle another person leaving you behind.

i promise i’d never walk away from you,

i’d never leave you stranded.

i can’t promise forever,

that’s too much to bear.

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i can only promise you pieces of me,

a puzzle with some empty spots.

instead of presents wrapped in bows,

i’ll give you my heart and soul

in the shape of little irregular pieces of cardboard.

i’ll wait for you to fit me in next to the edge pieces,

i’ll make it easy for you.

because, it’s so easy to see myself with you,

my head fits into the dip in your chest

like we were made for each other.

maybe you’re my final piece to the puzzle,

but i’ll never force you to fit with me.

fire and ice

fire and ice

she was burning with fiery, passionate love

she had eyes of burnt ember and they sparked every so often

she wanted to envelop everyone in a comforting warmth

she became her kids’ campfire so she could give them a place to sing and laugh

she burned with such fierce power that she could eradicate an entire forest or anyone who dared to hurt those close to her

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she who smiles with the brightness of the sun

she needed someone to hold her close and add sparks to her weakening flame

she needed to burn an image of herself in everyone’s minds, so she wouldn’t die out

she needed a moment that was so bright that even he remembered her warmth

he with those icy, blue eyes that could stare into you and make your heart stop

he who gave his family the cold shoulder and now has no one

he who sleeps in an empty bed in an empty studio apartment, listening to the city life pass by him

he who makes strangers shiver when they so much as glance his way

he always froze up when near her, his face getting paler with every step she took toward him

he who could never get himself out of his dark, barren mind long enough to let himself thaw out

he was so cold that even she couldn’t melt away his icy exterior

so they were stuck in an eternal loop, the same moments, waiting and longing for a connection to bring them out of their burning, but cold misery

The Hunter

the hounds have a strong scent.

 

my father sent me on this hunt.

it is not my first

it is not my last

i can’t let him down.

i must prevail.

the family name is at stake

and all though i don’t share it i dream of it.

 

i am his only son.

i am looked upon with shame.

but i do what he does and i do it well.

i take pride in my hunting,

it fills me with joy.

 

i am a stain,

not alone.

 

i want it,

i want it more than any snow.

i want to be among the butchers and hunters who carried his name

i want to be his real son.

 

the dogs,

faster than man, caught my prey.

they tear him apart.

the man begs for mercy

begs for death

but it isn’t up to me.

 

i take him to father,

to the house.

 

i take him to my lord,

to the dreadfort.

 

i hope father is pleased.

i serve him better than his advisors!

i serve him better than his soldiers!

i am his son.

 

the prisoner will be flayed!

he will be tortured!

he will be broken and skinned!

this is our houses way.

 

i hope when i arrive father will let me do the honors.

i hope he lets me torture this scoundrel.

i hope he lets me serve him.

i have never failed him and never will.

 

i arrive at the gates trophy in hand

but nothing has changed i am still ramsay snow.

i remain among the many snows,

one of millions unwanted and unclaimed children of the north.

i pray not for long.

 

someday,

i hope to be beside my father and wear his name.

someday carry our banner, not his.

someday i wish to share the name,

Bolton.

Travel.


I broke through the choppy air
punctured the woebegone clouds
all of a sudden
something glaring right above warmed my entire body
That was the first time I felt you

As hours elapse touching my wings
I recall
our once ephemeral kiss
all the time
tender but fiery

I touched all the piece of sky
but could not get a glimpse of you
I erase the distance between cities, countries, and even massive continents
but still could not reach the edge of your luminosity

With the possibility of burning myself
I choose to fall into you fearlessly
the hottest center of universe

I will break through the clouds again
just to embrace you with my rigid body
Then it will melt
with each other we blend
towards the eternity

I fly.

You are the Poem.

You are the Poem

A blank page hiding inside the book
I shall open
What an unknown region
I shall fall in

In what particular consequences to expect
I know not
But in the scope of mine
you have occupied throughout

A few lines of love
I intend to write
From each piece of you
I collect
but still fail to settle a word
out of my mind

For there is no poem
I vow
You are the poem
for all