when i see you again

it’ll be a tuesday.

the sun will be shining, but rain clouds will be looming in the distance.

i’ll see you in line for ice cream on the boardwalk and race towards you.

you’ll turn around when i call your name and your lovely brown eyes will instantly lock with mine.

you were always so good with eye contact.

obviously my heart will skip a beat, but i’ll never let you know.

we’ll talk for hours about school, family, boys, and girls,

just like old friends.

because that’s all we were,

all we are.

maybe we’ll dip our feet into the vast, open ocean,

and it’ll send chills down our spines.

Photo Credit: pinterest.com

but, maybe, it’ll start to rain,

so we’ll rush back to your car and wait for my sister to come get me.

you’ll laugh at me for still not having my license,

even though “i’m almost there!”

but, i won’t be nervous when my sister doesn’t respond to my text,

because i’ve never felt anything but safe around you.

so, we’ll talk some more and more until i check the time and realize we’ve been sitting here for hours.

finally, you decide to go outside because you just hate sitting around.

at first, i’ll let you stand out there by yourself, the rain beating down on your hair and catching in your eyelashes.

but, my speedy little heart will tell my reluctant brain to just go.

so, i’ll jump out of your car and spin around the parking lot and let the rain soak through my clothes.

then, you’ll take my hand and we’ll spin together just like out of the final scene in a rom-com.

but, my sister will eventually come.

you’ll wrap me in a towel and i’ll go home.

i’ll wash the ice cream stain off my sweater and tell my sister i had an alright time.

maybe i’ll tell my friends about you,

but i’ll probably keep our moment to ourselves.

i guess i’m just selfish like that.

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Warmth of the Cold

I love fall. The sheer aesthetic of sitting by a window with warm glowing string lights, drinking some sort of hot tea, surrounded with the smell of books. The fact that it is finally cold enough to be wearing wool socks and sweatshirts. The feeling of cold air filling your chest from the inside, making your home feel so much warmer.

I have to admit, I miss the cold winters back home in Germany. Right now, it is almost freezing there, the leaves that are turning red-orange, some almost pink-purple, are covering the roads like a warm-colored blanket. The lakes are topped with a paper thin layer of ice in the morning, and windows and cars are frosted the way they would be in movies. Horses’ coats are becoming thick and soft, and cows are being brought from their pastures back into their winter barns.

Credit: view.stern.de

I remember how much I hated the feeling of biking up the hill to my house after school, watching the clouds turn to a darker grey as the sun set behind them, and feeling the warm air in my lungs being replaced by the cold, making my throat hurt by the time I got back home. But I always loved the moment I walked through the door, embraced by my jumping dog and the heated floor, maybe even a fire in the chimney. The best days were the rainy ones. Your house just feels so much cozier when you don’t want to go outside.

 

Credit: moondog.de

I miss that weather. I miss the grey skies and the rain-soaked lawns. I miss the muddy roads and paths going through the forest by my house. I miss collecting chestnuts with my friends and cooking them with their whole family. I miss being freezing cold with numb fingers and an icy nose. I miss how later in the winter the trees would look like they had been covered in powdered sugar, reflecting the grey-purple of the afternoon sky.

I miss my home.

And no matter where I’ll live throughout my life, no matter how many times I’ll move and find new homes, that will always be my first home. My family’s home. My real home.

Some Love for Rainy Days

There’s a certain thing I love about rainy days. Being able to take the day off to snuggle under a mountain of blankets and pillows. Breaking into the food cabinet for hot chocolate and marshmallows. Making a batch of warm, gooey cookies. Watching an old play and eating popcorn.

Driving in rain is so peaceful. Watching the drops race each other down the window. The rhythmic swipe swipe of the window-wiper. The drops making little thuds on the car roof. The heater blasting hot air like an invisible blanket.

Playing in the rain is so fun. Getting soaked from the puddles brought on by an endless downpour. Earlier this year, a group of friends and I had a water fight. We filled up buckets or cups or whatever we could find and just threw them at each other. It would’ve gone on for hours if it wasn’t for dinner. We looked like sad little puppies when we came inside, and immediately dried off.

One thing I love doing in the rain is going in the hot tub. I know, that sounds quite odd. But when I’m at home, we’ll turn it on and it feels so cool. The cool drops on your head and shoulders contrasts so much to the hot water keeping you warm everywhere else.

Even though rain can be inconvenient, like when a wedding or party has to be moved inside, it still is something I look forward to. The memories I’ve made because I had to stay inside because of the rain, and the memories I’ve made because of getting soaked by it, are ones I truly cherish. Sadly, in California, it’s drier than a saltine cracker and it rarely rains.

photo credit to: cdn.tripwiremagazine.com

 

Without You

Let it all fall down.

Let your hair fall down with the rain.

The water drops down your face, and make up or none your beauty remains the same.

Dancing in the grass while the heavens open upon us.

Like the scene from a movie.

Embracing each other while the thunder booms in the background, and distant lightning draws closer.

The sky flashes with purple and white light, but in that moment there was no other care in the world.

The ground could be falling around us, but all that matters is we were the last ones standing.

You and I together while the world crumbles away.

The rain douses the fire that rumbles below our feet,

Stuck, but not alone.

Never alone when I am with you.

The alarm goes off

Blindly reaching for the snooze button, just longing for another 10 minutes.

Another night spent with you.

Without you.

When the time comes that the world does actually fall away,

It will be you and I on that last piece of earth left.

Holding each other as it all crumbles.

The Happiest Place on Earth

So, much like a fellow writer, I too took a trip to Disneyland this past weekend.

It has been about a year since I had been to Disneyland, and I was glad I got the chance to go.

We left Ojai early in the morning in the pouring rain.

When we got to Disneyland it was cloudy, but not quite cold enough to wear a jacket around so I ended up carrying mine most of the day.

I spent the whole day hoping it would get cold so that I could put on my jacket and stop holding it.

So when we got the park I was with two very close friends of mine, Sarah and Cameron.

We took this trip to celebrate Sarah’s mother’s birthday.

When we got the the park her parents split off from us and another friend met us at the park.

We walked around for a bit and then Gavin, Sarah’s brother, met us to surprise his mom for her birthday.

The surprise ended up working perfectly.

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Petrichor

“It means the smell of dust after rain.”

In freshman English, our teacher had us memorize a list of the “Hundred Most Beautiful Words in the English Language.”

I still use a lot of the words I learned from that list, in my writing.  But one word stuck with me more than the rest, and that is: petrichor.

In that list, it was defined as “the smell of earth after rain.”

Isn’t that just lovely?

Last weekend, I went home to San Diego for just over fifteen hours.  It was the shortest visit I’ve ever had, but it was beautiful.

It was drizzling when we hit Genesee Avenue, and raining when we got to Point Loma.  I stayed at my friends’ house and I could hear the rain pouring outside.

At about 12:30 am, I walked out into the warm, San Diego rain.

It was foggy, so the city lights turned the cloud layer soft sherbet orange.

It was so peaceful.  I just stood there and let the warm droplets collect on my eyelashes and make them heavy with rain.  The world looked gilded, as if embellished in tiny bluish crystals, tremulous and glittering.

Rain Rain, Please Don’t Go Away

It finally rained the other day .

After having so many hot days, I was really ready for the weather to cool down, and to let the water fall from the sky.

There was talk of rain over last weekend weekend, and in the beginning of the week, and I was skeptical that it would actually happen.

There was between a 20-40 percent chance, but with less than 50% chance, the earth still made it happen.

Thursday started off clear and I was worried that this one rainy day was going to be just a cold day, where I was looking to the sky hoping for rain.

Soon enough it began to rain a little after noon.

I was standing outside and felt a light drizzle.

I returned back indoors and just as the door shut behind me, it is as if the skies opened and the heavens rained down upon the ground.

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