Tag: spicy

Post-Chip Journal

navraj22Leave a comment

I ate the chip.

If you have no clue what I am talking about, you probably aren’t put on. It’s cool though, I’ll put you on. Last week I wrote a blog that laid out the chip challenge I orchestrated for my podcast which you can read here: ( https://ovsjournalists.com/2022/02/08/pre-chip-journal/ ).

My Pre-Chip Journal was full of joy, wonder, excitement for the journey I was about to embark on. I had a ton of ideas that were good in theory: many wheels, games, tests, goofs, and gaffes. Some worked some didn’t. We spun the first wheels and ate the chips in the order decided upon by the wheels. The problem arose when we went to play feud before our next wheel. We staggered our chip eating times, my co-host ate, 30 seconds later the editor ate, and 30 seconds later I ate. This led to my co-host being in a hiccup fit when I began playing. My tonsils and ears started burning, I felt my cartilage melting like some sort of Ear Nose Throat doctor’s office diagram-shaped candle. All concerns about the order and plans I had made went out the window. Eff the spelling bee. Eff feud. I. Am. Done.

I frantically mashed click on the computer connected to the tv behind us, spinning the wheel that decides what we get to drink. My co-host couldn’t open his chocolate milk. My editor opened a milk carton like it was a Christmas present. Milk went EVERYWHERE. I finally got to my chocolate milk and had a drink.

Sweet relief overcame my mouth, I was back to normal!

(please watch this, I am using this as a sentence)

VC: NOID

The pepper was dancing on my grave. It was back just as strong as before.

We spun the next wheel, I got lemon juice, which in my panicked state I poured into my chocolate milk, leading to a sour, coddled, sweet beverage that went down terribly. From here on out I don’t remember much. I was dying. I bit into a lemon, which actually really helped, something about the acid canceling the capsaicin.

I then went to lay on the floor. I zoned out on the floor for a few minutes, and when I came out of my pepper trance, I was feeling fine. The burning had moved down to my upper chest, which hurt far less than my mouth. I then ate roughly 7 mini muffins and the infamous wet bread. Wet bread, for those who yet again are NOT put on, is wonderbread with club soda. I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy.

At that point, the wheel had gone out the window. I began eating a whole onion, my co-host had the entire lemon turned inside out in his mouth, and my editor was still dying.

Our teacher, throughout this whole experience, was anxiously crossing his arms, pacing, and looked like he was about to collapse out of the fear a student’s stomach lining would rip open in front of him.

The podcast is super funny, which I am proud of. I am more pleased though, with the fact my editor had firey diarrhea the whole night, the best form of payback.

One Chip

jared315Leave a comment

Recently, we sat down to do a Hill Talk Podcast where we partook in the One Chip Challenge. We didn’t do the real challenge of eating the whole chip because our teacher is liable for our health and safety, but I must say, that shit still hurt. I can’t even describe the chip as spicy, it was just painful. As soon as I bit into the chip, I tasted a disgusting flavor of heat and pepper. The chip was thick, crispy, and dry as hell. Thus making it very hard to chew. It resembled eating sandpaper in my mind. My first reaction to the heat was to hiccup. My diaphragm began to convulse with the power of 1,000 stampeding wildebeests. I could’ve sworn I was gonna throw up. This all happened in a blink of an eye, and as time progressed, so did the pain. The chip lit up my spice receptors like a Christmas tree, it would be safe to say that the only thoughts on my mind were the exponentially increasing pain, and the chocolate milk I was thirsting to chug. Breathing became a difficult task, and speaking became an unintelligible blabber. This one chip fucked me up. If it wasn’t for the lemon juice chemically neutralizing the capsaicin, I’d be a goner. Even with this bitter miracle of fruit juice, the chip still put me on my ass. I could’ve sworn I contacted IBS, I mean, how could a healthy intestinal circuit feel like it’s moving shattered glass all because of one chip. I will rue the day that I participated in the Paqui One Chip Challenge.

Amazon.com: Paqui Carolina Reaper Madness One Chip Challenge Tortilla Chip
https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FPaqui-Carolina-Madness-Challenge-Tortilla%2Fdp%2FB01M748NRN&psig=AOvVaw2H6tlDP3Wis_qjLB5n8KQZ&ust=1644354821226000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAsQjRxqFwoTCND4-pnB7vUCFQAAAAAdAAAAABAF

Pre-Chip Journal

navraj22Leave a comment

This Monday. 10 Am. Ojai Valley School. The last conference room on the right. It’s going down.

I will be orchestrating the show of the century via my video podcast. Myself, my co-host, and my newspaper’s editor will be eating the world’s spiciest chip. On camera. It WILL be the highlight of my year or the reason I get violently ill and have to leave school.

Going into the new year, I needed new ideas for my budding podcast. To be honest, my coverage and predictions about Omicron were shaky to say the least, some would even say disastrous but hey you live and you learn.

ANYWAYS, a ton of planning has gone into this. I had the idea on a crisp Thursday morning at 7:15 am on the toilet browsing Tik Tok. I saw this random old dude force feeding himself for views on tik tok when I saw him down 4 or 5 very spicy chilies, some daused in the world’s hottest hot sauce, followed up by a shot of vodka and him spraying WD-40 down his gullet. The funniest part is he starts with this cute little gag accent which slowly transitions into him moaning, whining, and crying as he forces himself to eat them (attached his so-called highlights at the bottom). Truly enthralling stuff. When I got to Journalism that day, I was instantly bombarded by my teacher and editor about not doing enough during my time between episodes (true but no way I would admit it).

“I’m gonna make my editor eat something so hot, she doesn’t have a tongue to tell me to slack off less,” I thought to myself.

It’s a pretty great plan if you factor our the fact that I will be torturing myself and my co-host for a gag/to see my editor’s face when she eats this chip.

I have created a whole show around the one spicy chip which I will outline:

First, we will chat around for a second, maybe get a cameo on the fourth mic from our teacher, get some other Journalism students to chime in and what not, setting the stage for the main event. Then, we will spin a wheel to determine the order in which we eat the chips. Then, another wheel will be spun to determine how much of the chip will be eaten: 60% for 1/3, 35% for 2/3, and 5% for 3/3. You are gonna hear “another wheel” a handful more times throughout this blog. Get used to it. After this spin, we will eat the chip, and film our reaction for 3 minutes. We will then all play Family Feud while handling the heat. The winner will get first dibs to spin two wheels that are mostly filled with things that help heat like milk and carbs, but also some negatives like tonic water and an onion. The other two will spin this wheel in the order of their points in Feud. After this, we will have a spelling bee, something my editor is impossibly terrible at. After this, we will probably wrap up, and that will be our show.

I am pretty excited, but I hope nobody gets a stomach ulcer leading to me getting sued. I’ll attach the podcast to my next blog so stay tuned.

VC: TikTok Legend