This Saturday I partook in my first driving lesson, scaring both my instructor and myself. No I was not an amazing driver in fact I was the opposite. As I ventured up the Denison Grade and Sulphur Mountain Road I wondered what could possible have possessed my driving instructor to tempt such a fate.

Stepping into the Honda Accord, wisely on the passenger side, I wondered how one could possibly drive. Warning the instructor of the fate he might incur he agreed that it would be best for him to begin by driving down the rocky slopes of Sulphur Mountain.

Once in Ojai we parked in a residential area what he assured me would be free of hazards and any obstacles that may cause an injury.  Later I found out this was not to be the case. Stepping into the driver’s side I followed all instructions on controlling the car moving forward slowly and reversing slightly.

Now it was time for the accelerator. Jerk. Ok now this first motion was a bit embarrassing so I apologized sincerely and he said it was ok but if the whole lesson would be like this he may get a little travel-sick.

Travel-sick was he joking, I mean there’s me in control of a powerful car and he was worried about travel sickness, if I were in his shoes I would have been worried about who I had written in my will or at the least that I had great health insurance.

So after a few deep breaths (on his behalf) we continued onwards forgetting the previous incident. He was yet to know this was going to be the best part of the lesson.

Pink Scooters, old people, motorbikes and children all obstructed my way but as it turned out I luckily did not manage to kill, or injure anybody.

My biggest obstacle of the lesson was the turn. How was I supposed to know the steering wheel rotated numerous times? Ok maybe it was common sense but I did not know and so forth this is my excuse for over turning and near misses of several cars.

I think I may of shocked the driver with my driving antics consequently leading to the statement “I think it would be best to turn the hazard lights on.” Quickly I agreed knowing that if I had my mother’s tendencies this was a necessity.

So after much practice and near misses (thanks to his emergency brake) I mastered the turn ready to return home. There was one problem the Denison Grave and Sulphur Mountain Road. Was he suicidal?

Reluctantly I drove up the slopes but it actually turned out to be a good drive excluding encounters with cyclists and the hells angels. I am pleased to say he was even surprised with my skills. As we drove up the homestead run he switched from pleas of “please stop” to conversations about Globe trekker, Horse Riding and Europe.

Overall this was a pleasant experience for me, but I am unsure about the instructor. Beware next time.

Here’s a song that sums it up- madness.